DEAR HARRIETTE: As my peers and I are gearing up to go into the workforce, some of my friends have begun to introduce themselves with their full names. They were previously always known by nicknames, and I have begun to question if this transition indicates that I should now refer to them more formally as well. I have a long name myself and have had nicknames my whole life. I am OK with being referred to casually by friends. Now that we are getting older, what should I call my friends? -- Name Change, Boston

DEAR NAME CHANGE: Entering the workforce is a major turning point in life. It is wise to think about every aspect of how you identify yourself and your friends. Nicknames tend to be too casual for work environments. Similarly, email addresses that feature nicknames or catchphrases are not appropriate for work environments. Take a look at your social media handles as well.

To professionalize your life, you must take a fresh look at everything that defines you to see if it remains in alignment with who you are today and who you intend to become. From there, you can take steps to refine your self-identity.

To that end, if your friends are formalizing their names, honor their decision by calling them what they now choose to call themselves. You can also ask them if they want their former names to be names of the past entirely, or if they are still OK for friend time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have big family dinners. Between the two of us, we have six children, and many of them have boyfriends and girlfriends, so we usually have a dozen people at a dinner. One boy is 16, but the rest of the children are legal adults. With so many people, I find it hard to seat them. Is having a "kids' table" inappropriate? It is nearly impossible to find a table that seats a dozen people, but I am worried that they will find this offensive. -- Modern Family, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR MODERN FAMILY: Since the "kids" aren't young children, it will be important for you to use other language. But you can absolutely have more than one table for the meals, and they can be in separate rooms if needed. Chances are, the younger people will appreciate being slightly segregated. Their conversation topics are likely different from the adults', so it will probably be a relief not to have to sit with you. Sorry, but it's true!

At the same time, you do not have to tell people where to sit. Just have enough room for everyone, and let them pick where they want to be. Since you host these meals frequently, you may find that people rotate their seats. Older folks may want to cozy up to younger folks sometimes -- and vice versa.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few days ago, I received a letter from a law school in Colorado asking me to apply to its program. I am excited about the prospect of going to graduate school; however, I am not interested in attending law school in the West. If this offer had been given to me in my 20s, I would have jumped at the opportunity, but I am in my 40s now. I live in Connecticut, and I have various responsibilities that are not easy to forgo. I am not married, nor do I have children, but I have ties that bind. If I go to graduate school on the East Coast, I can maintain my responsibilities. Should I still apply to the school in Colorado for the practice, or should I email them to inform them that I am not going to apply to their school? -- Mile-High Education, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR MILE-HIGH EDUCATION: Before you close a door, find out what's behind it. It could be that the offer from the school in Colorado offers enough positive options that they outweigh your current lifestyle, choices and responsibilities. You will not know for sure until you do your research. You should be honest with them, meaning make it clear that it could be hard for you to uproot and move there, but you are willing to consider it thoughtfully, depending on the circumstances.

As far as local schools go, activate your research, and apply to all that seem viable so that you can find out if the opportunity is available to you in your hometown.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an introvert and do not enjoy speaking much. Sometimes I simply do not have the energy to pretend I am interested in speaking. I know this is rude, but I was wondering if there are any polite ways to turn down a conversation. -- Mum's the Word, Syracuse, New York

DEAR MUM'S THE WORD: My first inclination is to say that when you do not feel like communicating with others, you should stay home. There is an expectation that when you go into a social or business setting, you will naturally interact with others.

Given that you describe yourself as an introvert, I want you to know that I am not recommending that you become a recluse. Instead, you may want to develop your ability to engage others and lose your discomfort. One way to master that is to join an organization like Toastmasters (toastmasters.org), where many shy or soft-spoken people learn to feel comfortable and confident standing one-on-one or before crowds with ease.

Another option is to invite an extroverted friend or colleague to join you when you go to social functions. If you double-team the event, you can talk less because your "date" is happy to talk a lot. Know that you cannot be silent in these instances, but you may enjoy the buffer of your talkative friend.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I decided to make peace with my former husband. I sent him a text message to see how he was doing. To my pleasant surprise, the conversation went well, and we are planning to go out to dinner in a couple of weeks. My former husband is aware that I remarried, and I made my current husband aware that I made plans to see my ex. How should I approach this dinner? We are planning to go to a restaurant frequented in times past. -- Back to the Future, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR BACK TO THE FUTURE: My question is why are you meeting with your ex-husband? Is there a reason for you to rekindle your relationship? Even more, why are you going back to a restaurant that used to be one of your haunts? This feels like playing with fire to me.

If you have business to handle together, go to a benign location that feels businesslike. If you want to make amends because of something bad that happened between you, do that in a neutral location that has no memories. If you want to establish some type of friendship, have your husband come, too.

The path you are following right now does not seem to be a wise choice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 43 years old, and I love the water -- but I do not know how to swim. I feel like I have prolonged the process long enough because the fear of drowning crippled me. I want to get past my fear and learn how to swim. Is it ridiculous for me to try to get a teacher at this stage in my life? -- Taking the Plunge, Bronx, New York

DEAR TAKING THE PLUNGE: It is never too late to learn to swim. I believe it is an essential life skill, as you never know when you may need it to save your life or someone else's. The good news for you -- and anyone else out there in this situation -- is that there are many options for learning to swim, even as an adult.

Look at your local YMCA for starters. In most cities, there is a pool there, along with affordable teachers. Similarly, you can inquire at a local community center, community college or other public or community organization that has a pool.

Yet another idea is to reach out to a senior center or similar facility. Obviously, you are not yet a senior, but you could find out if the teacher there would be willing to teach you in exchange for your offering to volunteer to help at the center. I mention this because sometimes mature people who are learning to swim can feel awkward around their peers or younger people. Your job right now is to find a place where you can feel comfortable so that you can gain this essential skill and overcome your fear. Now is a perfect time to learn to swim. Go for it!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)