DEAR HARRIETTE: My senior prom is coming up, but instead of being excited about this upcoming event, I feel nothing but dread. Due to these strong feelings, I have decided not to go to prom. But when I brought this up with all of my friends and family, they have come together in order to encourage (more like force) me to attend. Since I do not share the same mindset as them, I am confused about what to do. Do I go and have a miserable time just to appease my family and friends, or do I follow my gut and not attend? How should I tell my friends and family that I am not going in a way that would be well-received by those trying to force me to go? -- Should I Go?, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR SHOULD I GO?: You have a few things to consider. For starters: Why do you dread going to prom? This is important to understand for your own well-being. Feeling dread is very strong. Do you have a sense of what has created such a strong aversion in you? If you are able to name the reason why you feel so strongly, you may be able to get your friends and family to lighten up on you.

To the question of whether you should attend prom or not, this should be up to you. While most students do go to their proms, not every single student does, nor is attendance considered mandatory at most schools. If you absolutely do not want to go, tell your family you have made up your mind, and then plan an alternative activity to do on that day so that you have scheduled in fun for yourself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my good guy friends asked me out. He feels like one of my brothers, and I am not attracted to him in that way. I explained to him why I did not share his feelings, and I thought he took it well. However, now he will barely even talk to me. I am torn between accepting the end of our friendship or confronting him about his "anger" or whatever feelings are fueling his need to avoid me. How should I approach this situation without offending him even more? -- No Love Lost, Dallas

DEAR NO LOVE LOST: What your friend needs is time. It took a tremendous amount of courage for him to ask you out. It is likely that he was shocked that you said no. He is embarrassed and likely sorting through his feelings, trying to figure out how to not be awkward given you now know his secret.

Let some weeks or months go by, and then ease back into the friendship. There's a good chance he just needs space to get his head and heart together before attempting to be chums again.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past couple of years, I have always been put in the middle of my parents' disagreements. Whenever they butt heads, they each come to me and vent about how horrible the other is. Every time this happens, it makes me very uncomfortable since it puts me in the middle of their fights, making me feel as if I have to choose sides. I have tried to talk to my siblings about this, but I am the only one my parents do this with, so I was unable to get any help from them. How should I go about getting this to stop? I still live at home because I go to college nearby. I feel like I need to move out in order to have peace of mind, but I can't leave yet. -- Out of the Middle, Washington, D.C.

DEAR OUT OF THE MIDDLE: Sometimes when couples are going through difficulties, they aren't consciously aware of how their behavior affects their loved ones, particularly their children. Confront them about what they are doing. You can do it with them together or one on one. Choose a moment when they are not inflamed. It is very hard to hear when you are upset, especially if the message being delivered is somewhat critical. So wait until a neutral time, and then tell them that you need to talk about something serious. Point out that when they disagree about things, they talk badly about each other to you. Explain how awkward this makes you feel. Make it clear that you do not want to choose sides, nor do you want to know all of their issues. Ask them to keep their arguments to themselves.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is constantly getting me expensive gifts. She often gives me things randomly as well as on holidays, even ones that she does not celebrate. This has always been something that has made me uncomfortable, and recently she has been spending more money on me. I try to get her to stop buying me things, but she never listens. Not only does her gift-giving make me uncomfortable, but it also adds pressure for me to get her expensive things, which is not something I am able to do all the time. I also found out that I am the only one she does this to, and since she does not have that many friends, it almost feels like she is trying to buy my friendship. How do I get her to stop spending money on me without hurting her feelings? -- Ban on Gifts, New York City

DEAR BAN ON GIFTS: Stop accepting your friend's gifts. The next time she gives you something, give it back to her. Tell her that it makes you uncomfortable that she is always buying you things, you won't like her any less if she stops giving you things and you will no longer accept gifts from her.

Yes, this may startle her and even hurt her feelings a bit. But it is important for you to stand your ground as a friend.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I baby-sit for a family with two fathers. I love the kids and always have great experiences baby-sitting for them. Recently, one of the boys has started to call me "Mommy." When it first happened, I told him I was not his mother; he already has parents and I am just a baby sitter. The second time it happened, I corrected him and he said he was just playing house. I correct or ignore him every time he calls me his mother, but I feel as though I am in a bit of an awkward situation. I would never want his fathers to find out and feel inadequate since they are amazing parents. Do I have the responsibility to report back to the fathers or accept this as a playful phase? -- Not Mommy, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT MOMMY: Your experience may feel uncomfortable, but it's actually quite common. Children grow to love their baby sitters as if they are parents, especially if they spend a lot of time together. On one hand, it is a compliment, even though it can feel awkward to the sitter. When my daughter was young, she called her sitter "Ma Cheryl." I got jealous at first, but eventually relaxed.

Your situation is different because of the two daddies and no mommy. Rather than constantly correcting them, why not make up a fun name for yourself that is neutral but engaging. Or make a game with them and come up with a name together, a love name that doesn't include the "m" word. If that works, great. If they continue to call you the "m" word, you should tell their dads.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my friends decided to clean out her closet and allow any friend to take what they wanted. As she was sending us pictures of the clothing, she slowly decided she wanted money for all of these items. She waited until everyone decided which clothes they wanted to tell us she wanted compensation, and now everyone is in an awkward spot. These worn clothes are in good shape and fashionable -- but they're still secondhand. Additionally, she is trying to sell us some of her used bras! While the undergarments may have been expensive purchases originally, worn underwear is not something to charge people for. Is there a kind way to remind her that this is all used clothing, or do I have to bow out of this whole exchange to avoid getting ripped off? -- Firsthand Confusion About Secondhand Clothing, Boston

DEAR FIRSTHAND CONFUSION: Go the direct route. Tell your friend that she changed the rules on you, and you no longer want the items. Explain that since she offered the items for free and later decided to charge, you don't think that's fair, even though is her prerogative. Don't go into what she should charge for and what she shouldn't. Keep it simple. She changed the rules, and you have now changed your mind.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)