DEAR HARRIETTE: I baby-sit for a family with two fathers. I love the kids and always have great experiences baby-sitting for them. Recently, one of the boys has started to call me "Mommy." When it first happened, I told him I was not his mother; he already has parents and I am just a baby sitter. The second time it happened, I corrected him and he said he was just playing house. I correct or ignore him every time he calls me his mother, but I feel as though I am in a bit of an awkward situation. I would never want his fathers to find out and feel inadequate since they are amazing parents. Do I have the responsibility to report back to the fathers or accept this as a playful phase? -- Not Mommy, Philadelphia

DEAR NOT MOMMY: Your experience may feel uncomfortable, but it's actually quite common. Children grow to love their baby sitters as if they are parents, especially if they spend a lot of time together. On one hand, it is a compliment, even though it can feel awkward to the sitter. When my daughter was young, she called her sitter "Ma Cheryl." I got jealous at first, but eventually relaxed.

Your situation is different because of the two daddies and no mommy. Rather than constantly correcting them, why not make up a fun name for yourself that is neutral but engaging. Or make a game with them and come up with a name together, a love name that doesn't include the "m" word. If that works, great. If they continue to call you the "m" word, you should tell their dads.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, one of my friends decided to clean out her closet and allow any friend to take what they wanted. As she was sending us pictures of the clothing, she slowly decided she wanted money for all of these items. She waited until everyone decided which clothes they wanted to tell us she wanted compensation, and now everyone is in an awkward spot. These worn clothes are in good shape and fashionable -- but they're still secondhand. Additionally, she is trying to sell us some of her used bras! While the undergarments may have been expensive purchases originally, worn underwear is not something to charge people for. Is there a kind way to remind her that this is all used clothing, or do I have to bow out of this whole exchange to avoid getting ripped off? -- Firsthand Confusion About Secondhand Clothing, Boston

DEAR FIRSTHAND CONFUSION: Go the direct route. Tell your friend that she changed the rules on you, and you no longer want the items. Explain that since she offered the items for free and later decided to charge, you don't think that's fair, even though is her prerogative. Don't go into what she should charge for and what she shouldn't. Keep it simple. She changed the rules, and you have now changed your mind.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends refuses to leave a toxic relationship. They have been together for two years, but during this time, there has always been drama. He is very protective of her and will freak out whenever the relationship is threatened. He even threatened me once, as well as a couple of her other best friends, and she never did anything about it. Recently, she has been cheating on him with multiple guys. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for her to end the relationship, but she refuses to leave him, claiming that she loves him too much. I have continually tried to get her to end things, but she refuses and gets defensive. I do not know if I can be friends with her if she continues seeing this guy. How should I approach her about leaving him for good? -- Fed Up, Cincinnati

DEAR FED UP: You know already that you have no control over your friend's choices. That said, you do have control over yourself. If you fear for your safety because her boyfriend has threatened you, speak up and tell your friend that you choose not to hang out with her because of that fear. If you are simply tired of all of the drama between your friend and her boyfriend and the stress that it has placed on your friendship, say that to her.

Your focus in the conversation needs to be about you in relation to her behavior. Asking her to leave her boyfriend won't work. Telling her that you have decided to leave the friendship because of her behavior and how it makes you feel is your best option. Perhaps she will reconsider her choices if the repercussions mean that she might lose a dear friend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I have been noticing that my close friend, who is a high school junior, has been drinking more. It has gone from just one drink to three or five. It is alarming, since this has become a daily ritual for her. She drinks after work every day. While I know this is a typical thing for many people, it has not been a normal thing for her. Instead of just getting a little buzz, my friend won't stop until she is flat-out drunk. It has even gotten to the point where I have to make sure she is at home and OK at least a couple of days a week. I have tried talking to her siblings about this problem, but they just pretend like it is not happening. How do I help my friend see that she has a problem that needs to be fixed? -- Scared and Concerned, Rochester, New York

DEAR SCARED AND CONCERNED: As scary as this may seem, I recommend that you speak to your friend's parents about their daughter's drinking. Tell them how much you love their daughter and that you are genuinely worried about her. Point out that you know she will be upset if she finds out that you said anything, but you had to tell them so that they can help their daughter before it's too late.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends has had many sexual partners in the last year. She does not always use protection, even with one-night stands or much older men. She is on birth control and does not seem to care that she is not protected from sexually transmitted diseases. I think she should go to a clinic to get tested because she's had over a dozen sexual partners in the last year. I am not concerned about her sexual promiscuity. I just think she should make sure she does not have any STDs. Is there a polite way to tell someone they should get tested? She's 19 years old. I'm worried about her. -- Don't Risk It, Detroit

DEAR DON'T RISK IT: Because you are not standing in judgment of your friend, you have a better chance of getting her to hear you. Invite your friend to hang out with you. During your private time together, bring up your concerns. Tell her that you are worried about her health because you know that it is very easy to get a sexually transmitted disease if you do not use protection. Offer to go with her to a clinic to get tested. Point out that the clinic will not reveal the results to her parents. On the flip side, the clinic can provide her with treatment if she needs it.

If your friend is willing to talk about her sexual behavior with you, try to get her to open up about what she's been doing and why. Ask her if she would like to talk about it with anyone. A guidance counselor at her school could be a good option.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I plan on getting a job this summer. I want to save up some money and try to invest it on a small scale. I would like to put some money away and watch it grow, but I am not sure if that is the best option for me. As a college student, I find it difficult to get started learning about how to manage money. What do you think a young student should do with the savings he or she does not plan on spending any time soon? -- Making Mountains out of Molehills, Denver

DEAR MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS: Congratulations on thinking ahead! Investing money this early in your life is one of the smartest decisions you can make. To make the right investment for your life, I recommend that you work with a financial adviser who can explain to you the pros and cons of different financial instruments. You can get a financial adviser from your bank or through an investment institution.

Since you are interested in learning about investing, you may also want to do some reading. A book that you may want to read is "The Early Investor: How Teens & Young Adults Can Become Wealthy," by Michael Zisa.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)