DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends has had many sexual partners in the last year. She does not always use protection, even with one-night stands or much older men. She is on birth control and does not seem to care that she is not protected from sexually transmitted diseases. I think she should go to a clinic to get tested because she's had over a dozen sexual partners in the last year. I am not concerned about her sexual promiscuity. I just think she should make sure she does not have any STDs. Is there a polite way to tell someone they should get tested? She's 19 years old. I'm worried about her. -- Don't Risk It, Detroit

DEAR DON'T RISK IT: Because you are not standing in judgment of your friend, you have a better chance of getting her to hear you. Invite your friend to hang out with you. During your private time together, bring up your concerns. Tell her that you are worried about her health because you know that it is very easy to get a sexually transmitted disease if you do not use protection. Offer to go with her to a clinic to get tested. Point out that the clinic will not reveal the results to her parents. On the flip side, the clinic can provide her with treatment if she needs it.

If your friend is willing to talk about her sexual behavior with you, try to get her to open up about what she's been doing and why. Ask her if she would like to talk about it with anyone. A guidance counselor at her school could be a good option.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I plan on getting a job this summer. I want to save up some money and try to invest it on a small scale. I would like to put some money away and watch it grow, but I am not sure if that is the best option for me. As a college student, I find it difficult to get started learning about how to manage money. What do you think a young student should do with the savings he or she does not plan on spending any time soon? -- Making Mountains out of Molehills, Denver

DEAR MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS: Congratulations on thinking ahead! Investing money this early in your life is one of the smartest decisions you can make. To make the right investment for your life, I recommend that you work with a financial adviser who can explain to you the pros and cons of different financial instruments. You can get a financial adviser from your bank or through an investment institution.

Since you are interested in learning about investing, you may also want to do some reading. A book that you may want to read is "The Early Investor: How Teens & Young Adults Can Become Wealthy," by Michael Zisa.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The boy I am taking to prom is from a different high school, and he recently got into an accident that resulted in the loss of some of his teeth and a part of his lip. He is getting surgery soon and will have new teeth for prom, but he will still have very visible scarring. Admittedly, I am superficial and want the attention on me at my senior prom, not on his injury. Is it inappropriate of me to ask him to wear makeup to conceal his wounds? -- Covering Up, Naples, Florida

DEAR COVERING UP: Let's start by giving thanks that your date was not hurt worse and that he is even available to attend to the prom with you. The damage to his face suggests that this was a very bad accident. You would be wise to adopt an attitude of gratitude that he would even consider going to a public function after this.

Apart from your vanity, which could use some checking, let's look at your question strategically. Because your date goes to another school, he won't be getting as much attention as you, anyway. So your job is to make sure he feels comfortable. While it is your prom, it is not all about you. To the issue of makeup, if offered appropriately, it could be kind of you to suggest that you can help him to feel more at ease by applying concealer on his scars (if they no longer have any open wounds) to make them more subtle. Your reason for wanting to give him these touch-ups, though, should be to make him feel better, not you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is known as someone who always flakes on plans. She cancels, forgets or is late, and she seems to think the world is waiting for her most of the time. However, when someone cancels plans with her, she badmouths them and expects everyone else's sympathy. Is there any way to show her she exasperates us the same way when she bails on plans? -- It Works Both Ways, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR IT WORKS BOTH WAYS: When people behave unconsciously, they typically do things like your friend. Her lack of awareness of how her actions affect others reflects her disconnection to how she feels when others aren't sensitive to her. She needs to open her eyes.

This may require that you and your friends call her on her behavior every time. That could mean that you tell her that if she doesn't show up on time or at all for your next agreed-upon meeting, you won't be agreeing to meet her anymore. This may prompt an emotional reaction from her, which could be perfect because it may open the door to an honest conversation. You need to tell her that it hurts your feelings when she doesn't respect your time. Add that it is unbelievable to you that she would talk badly about anyone who cancels plans with her, given her track record. Ask her if you can agree to start over. What that would look like is her making a conscious effort to show up for her commitments.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is very candid, and dinners are always hilarious and talkative. My boyfriend's family, however, is more conservative, and I find myself avoiding spending time with them because I am afraid to say something they find inappropriate. I don't want to seem standoffish by not speaking much, but I also want to make sure I do not step on anyone's toes. They tend to talk about sports and politics, neither of which I am particularly interested in. Is there any way to bring my own interests to the table, or should I just brush up on sports and speak when spoken to? -- Fitting In, Laurelton, Maryland

DEAR FITTING IN: Start by boning up on the topics that interest your boyfriend's family. That will show them that you care about their thoughts and are willing to join their conversation. This should begin to create a level of ease in the conversation. If there is something in the news that interests you, introduce the idea and see how it floats. Start out by choosing conversation starters that are not hot-button issues like race, religion or politics. It is good for your boyfriend's family to get to know you and your voice. It is also important for you to appreciate your family's dynamic and accept that it is completely different from his.

DEAR HARRIETTE: With summer coming up, my friends are excited to have fun together. However, not everyone's idea of fun is similar, and I think some people bring the group morale down by complaining about being active and preferring to stay inside. For example, people who hate exercising will go on a hiking trip because they fear missing out, yet they complain the whole time. Is there a polite way to not invite these people, or do I conveniently schedule an excursion when I know the buzz kills will be busy? -- Editing the Experience, Chicago

DEAR EDITING THE EXPERIENCE: Whoever is organizing an activity should accept the responsibility of crafting it so that it will be fun for the people who will attend. This may mean that more than one activity should be designed, and not everybody gets invited to everything. Guess what? You can be upfront about this. For a trip to a lake or the beach or an evening going from a restaurant to a club, you invite the people who will appreciate that. For the more adventurous activities that include physical exertion, only invite the friends who will take advantage of the opportunity to be physically active.

If the complainers get wind of the activity and approach you about why they weren't invited, be frank with them and explain that you invited them to the activities you know they would enjoy but spared them the ones they would not. If you get additional pushback that they would have come to the physically challenging event anyway, point out to them that in the past when they have tagged along, they have complained the whole time -- which is not fun for the rest of the group.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)