DEAR HARRIETTE: In the world of college students, the social life can get pretty tough. While on this journey, I have come across some kids who are more well-off than others. One of my friends continuously shows off what she has and spends large amounts of money in front of another friend who is not as fortunate. It has been bothering this other friend of mine. I do not know whether I should confront my flashy friend or continue not saying anything when these moments occur. How do I approach this situation without losing my friend? -- Hush Her Up, Denver

DEAR HUSH HER UP: Do not be a bystander in this situation. By all means, speak up. Pull your better-off friend aside and tell her that you are disturbed by the way she throws money around in front of other people, particularly your friend who lives much more modestly. Inform her that her behavior makes everyone uncomfortable and probably makes that one friend feel inadequate. Tell her you think that what she is doing is rude and probably unconscious, but she should stop. You can turn the tables and ask her how she would feel if someone was constantly showing off and bragging in front of her.

Finally, if your friend continues to misbehave in this manner, walk away and take the others with you as soon as she starts. She may get the message if she instantly loses her audience!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a distant cousin whom I do not know very well. Her family has asked for me to allow her to stay with me for two weeks over the summer. While I am all for helping out family, I am hesitant to agree to this, considering that I do not really know this girl very well. She also does not speak much English. She is visiting the United States from Japan. It would be like allowing a stranger to live with me for half a month. I am leaning toward not having her stay with me mostly because I do not have time to show her around due to my job. How do I deal with this situation without causing any rifts in my family? My brother stayed with her for a year awhile back when he visited Japan. Oh, it's complicated. -- Taking Family In, Boston

DEAR TAKING FAMILY IN: You already know my answer: You should welcome your cousin with open arms. Make it clear before she comes what your schedule is like so that you manage her expectations. Commit to yourself that you will work hard to get to know her.

Make a schedule that allows for you to show her some things as you also give her information about tourist attractions she can visit on her own. Arrange for a family member or someone else who speaks fluent Japanese to be on call if you need help with translation. Choose to enjoy this time with your cousin!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 18, and I baby-sit frequently. Whenever certain parents text me, they use stereotypical "text speak," like "LMK" or "2NITE" or "GRT" -- I cannot even understand it! It is incredibly informal, and I have never communicated with them using any slang or lingo. Are they trying to relate to me by texting me this way? Should I continue to decipher, or is there a polite way to tell them I will understand if they message me normally? -- Bridging the Gap, Pittsburgh

DEAR BRIDGING THE GAP: I can feel you cringing as you are receiving these messages as I can also see these parents working overtime to attempt to seem hip and cool. Yes, you are the one who needs to address this. Use great sensitivity because they are making an effort to talk to you the way they believe you communicate using text messaging. Tell them that you have noticed that they often use abbreviations when they are texting you, and you don't always know what these acronyms mean. Ask them to please write to you straight. That way, you will not run the risk of mistakenly following a direction they did not give you, or otherwise misinterpreting their communication. When you do not understand a text from them, always ask for clarification.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, a new clothing store opened up in the town I live in. Previously, every teenage girl had ordered clothing from the store's website or gone to the store in the next state over because there was never one close by. The opening seems ideal, except no one wants to go in because of the employees. The store has, seemingly unknowingly, hired the "mean girls" from the town high school. They are very public about loving their jobs, and they turn away business from the store because no one wants to interact with them. Do I have the responsibility of telling the store owner why he isn't getting business, or should I not meddle? I have been a part of this town my whole life. I go to school with these girls, so I know what I'm talking about. I mean, at least 200 girls have said they won't go in because of them. But I don't want to be a gossip. -- Should I Tell, Westchester, New York

DEAR SHOULD I TELL: As a member of your town, you definitely should speak up. Find out who the owner or manager is and ask for a meeting at a time when the girls in question are not at work. Tell this person that you are happy the store came to your town and that you are concerned about their future sales because of the reputation these girls have at the local high school.

Make it clear that your intention is not to spread gossip but that you know that a sizeable number of girls have said they will not step foot in the door because these girls work there and they are rude. It will be in the store owners' hands after that.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate and I recently made the bad decision of getting a dog in our apartment. Before we got the puppy, we both agreed to have "shared custody" of the pet. A month later, unsurprisingly, I am the only one who is doing the dirty work like cleaning, feeding and walking our dog. Every time I confront her about this, she denies not doing any of the work. I have confronted her several times since then, and there have been no changes. What should I do or say to my roommate to get her to do her share of the work without causing too much tension? -- Lopsided Care, Syracuse, New York

DEAR LOPSIDED CARE: Sadly, you cannot force your roommate to care for the dog, even though you made an agreement. Your story is all too familiar, even as it sounds childish. This is typically what little children do when they beg their parents for a pet and never lift a finger to care for it. In their case, they may have privileges taken away.

In your case, you may want to charge her for the services that you provide. Find out how much a dog walker gets paid in your area, and charge her 50 percent of that cost per week. How much does a groomer cost, etc.? If you present her with a weekly bill that reflects the services she agreed to provide, you may end up starting an honest conversation, though it is doubtful that she will fork over the money. If you have a shared bill from which you can deduct that amount, you can try recouping your loss that way. Just make sure that you don't put your electricity or rent in jeopardy doing so.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends is in a long-term relationship with a boy who is shorter than her. I do not think height should be seen as an issue, but she denies the obvious height difference between them and goes on to make fun of girls who date shorter guys. I know she is using the mocking as an outlet for her insecurities, but it creates an elephant in the room. I have tried to discuss height differences in a positive light out of the context of her and her boyfriend, but she is still rude about it. Should I let her continue to project her insecurities or privately tell her that she can stop pretending and that it's OK her boyfriend is shorter than her? -- Height Differences, Seattle

DEAR HEIGHT DIFFERENCES: Now is the time to stop tiptoeing around that elephant. Privately tell her that you believe that it makes her uncomfortable that her boyfriend is shorter than she is. Why? Because she is constantly pointing out -- in a derogatory manner -- reflective relationships, i.e. couples who are similar to her and her boyfriend. Tell her how rude it is to make the judgmental comments that she makes about these couples. Ask her if she realizes that she is talking about herself. Plead with her to stop saying these things. It is not only mean to those people, it is hypocritical.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)