DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my closest friends constantly complains to me about her weight. It has even gotten to the point where she's begged me to do a workout plan with her, but then she skips exercising. She is not overweight: She probably wears a size 8, but she wants to be a size 2. Her family is hard on her about her weight, and she has admitted to buying "bad" food to eat alone in her car. Yet she still constantly contacts me, whining about how she cannot lose weight. I frequently see her eating large amounts of food that's unhealthy, and she doesn't seem to see a connection between her diet, exercise and weight. Is there a way I could tell her to stop lamenting about her weight to me if she isn't working toward her goals? -- Fed Up, Detroit
DEAR FED UP: Sit your friend down and go through the list of things that she has asked you to do to support her weight loss. Get her to see that you have done what she asked, but she has not, in turn, done it with you or by herself. Make it clear to her how frustrating it is for you to attempt to be there for her when she isn't showing up for herself.
You have to draw the line. Ask her to stop talking to you about her weight issues because you don't know how to help her. Suggest that she go to her doctor to get some guidance. She probably needs a psychologist to talk to about her habits. You can say that to her -- that you believe she needs professional help, and that you are not a professional.
The next time she brings up her weight to you, change the subject or physically leave.