DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently joined an organization that is going through a lot of changes. One of the board members never shows up for meetings, or when he does, he is late and often hasn't done what he has agreed to do. It is a real drag on the rest of us who are working hard to do our parts. The bigger problem is that nobody wants to say anything to this guy because he's a powerful leader in our community, and he has been on this board for a long time. What is the proper way to address someone like this? I want to be respectful and also get results. -- Looking for Strategy, Washington, D.C.

DEAR LOOKING FOR STRATEGY: Start by speaking to the board president about protocol. Are there rules in place for members who do not carry their weight? Point out your concerns about this particular board member, and ask if the board president would be willing to speak to him privately about his conduct. Depending upon the size of the board, it may be that even though this person is not contributing as much as some of the others, what he does contribute is substantial enough to balance it out. That happens a lot on larger boards. It does not excuse his tardiness, of course, but it may point to why his behavior gets a pass.

One way to potentially get this fellow to be more engaged is to attempt a personal relationship with him. Ask if he will speak to you offline about one of the projects you are shepherding. Attempt to enlist his support in something that the board is doing, and see if your personal touch lures him back in.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My children and family are so upset about the earthquakes that seem to be happening all over the world. The huge one that just hit Nepal that has killed so many people has us devastated, and there was another big one in Chile a couple of weeks ago. Now my kids are worried that it could happen to us. We live in California, after all, and we do have earthquakes. How do I console my children in such a horrible time? -- Afraid of Nature, Los Angeles

DEAR AFRAID OF NATURE: Acts of nature such as earthquakes have occurred through the generations. The big difference today is that we can see the effects of them on the news 24 hours a day because of technology.

To control this onslaught of messaging, limit your intake of images and stories about these disasters. This will help to establish balance in your children's lives. Yes, bad things happen every day, sometimes to catastrophic proportions, but people continue to live their daily lives. Additionally, you can contribute to disaster relief. Your children can help you select an organization that is committed to supporting the people in distress.

Finally, you will have to talk about where you live. Yes, earthquakes happen in your area regularly. Most of them are little more than a nuisance. But it is predicted that a big earthquake could befall your area in the future. Do not lie about that possibility as you also point out that natural disasters are part of life. Do your best to be safe wherever you are, and prepare yourself in case disaster strikes.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been feeling overwhelmed for several months now. I just can't seem to get my life together. I lost my job a few months ago, and I have been looking for a job with no luck so far. I am single, and I have nobody to help me. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can take this. I feel like I get shut down at every turn.

Friends were helping me out here and there, but I feel horrible about asking for their help. Plus, they are barely making ends meet themselves. I got on food stamps recently, but I hate that, too. I feel like a mess. I went to the doctor about it and was prescribed some depression medicine. I'm afraid to take it, though, because I'm afraid that I won't get another job if my employer finds out that I have to take meds. What can I do? -- Stuck, Detroit

DEAR STUCK: Thank you for writing and sharing your situation. You have done the right thing by speaking your pain out loud. It is also great that you went to the doctor to be evaluated. Now, you absolutely must take your medicine. Getting healthy is going to be a requirement for you to turn your life around. Your meds should be able to help you stabilize your emotions. Find a way to continue to go to see a mental health professional who can help guide your steps. It is possible to climb out of this dark hole, but you need help to get there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has taken to wearing braids in his hair so that he can grow it out. He thinks it looks cool. The way I grew up, men wearing braids was in poor taste. Even if things have loosened up in recent times, I do not think wearing his hair like that is going to help him get a job. He has been looking for a job for a while now, and the interviewers haven't told him why he isn't being hired, but I believe that his hair isn't helping at all. How can I get him to consider getting a hair cut? -- Helping My Boy, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR HELPING MY BOY: You could be right that his appearance could be an obstacle in his job search. Beyond that, though, there could be other factors. Suggest to your son that he reach back to his interviewers to ask if they can give him feedback on why he was not selected. If he is lucky, he will get input from at least some of the interviewers about his interviewing skills, his ability to do the job for which he was being interviewed and his appearance.

Suggest to him that he ask the interviewer if his braids stood in the way. Legally, most employers are not supposed to judge candidates on the way that they look, but people are people, and some do. Perhaps he will get a glimmer of how his appearance measures up. Hearing such feedback from someone other than his parents will likely make it easier for him to hear.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm not a prude, but I am also not a fan of public displays of affection. Especially on the subway on the way to work where people are all crammed up next to each other anyway, it makes me uncomfortable to see couples who are all touchy-feely.

It was really bad this morning. There was a gay couple on the train who kept rubbing their hands up and down each other. It wasn't that they were touching inappropriately. It was just that I really didn't want to see two men loving each other up. I don't so much consider myself homophobic. I figure everybody should be able to live the way they want. I just don't necessarily want to see it. Am I horrible for feeling that way? -- Anti-PDA, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ANTI-PDA: You have brought up more than one issue. Public displays of affection can be uncomfortable for others to watch, regardless of what gender the people are. At the same time, it is natural for people who are in love to touch each other. Oftentimes, they don't even realize that they are doing it. The best thing you can do in a situation where you are in eyesight of a couple being too touchy-feely for your taste is to cast your eyes in another direction or move. Then you don't have to see it.

As far as observing a gay couple sharing loving touches, do your best to recognize what you already know -- that they are no different from any other loving couple. I know there are plenty of people out there who remain insensitive and intolerant to same-sex couples. I implore you to treat people equally. You may not like what you see, but you can simply avert your gaze and, in turn, give everyone space to be who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that crowdfunding is so popular, I must get five to 10 requests for donations a week. It's totally overwhelming. It's much easier to pick generically from charities that send me requests at my house. But these tend to be coming from people I know. They make personal appeals. It feels more uncomfortable than people begging on the streets, in a way, maybe because it's so frequent. How can I choose to donate to some and say no to others without hurting people's feelings? And do I need to respond to the ones I reject? If so, I have to figure out ways to reach them other than their campaigns. -- Stop the Handouts, Chicago

DEAR STOP THE HANDOUTS: Just as with any other charitable request, you must use your discretion. It should start with your personal budget. How much money have you allocated for charitable contributions? Based upon that figure, you can then determine how many different charities you will select, and which ones. When you receive requests either outside your budget or outside your interests, it is perfectly fine for you to say no.

You do not have to track people down to apologize for not contributing. It is your choice.