DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a junior in high school, and I plan to go to college. I told my parents that I do not plan to go to college in state. I told them that I would prefer to go to school out of state. My mom and dad got upset with me because they feel like they would never see me. My mother really wants to see me go to a school that is closer to home, but I feel I should be able to choose where I want to go. I need help. What should I do? -- Distant Learner, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR DISTANT LEARNER: It is natural for parents to want to hold their children close at the very moment when they are about to leave home and begin to live on their own. This is an emotionally challenging time for parents, so be gentle with them as you figure out your next steps.

Also, who is paying for your college? If it is your parents, you should know that going to an in-state school is far more affordable than going out of state. They may be considering cost as well as emotional loss when they urge you to stay nearby.

If you have the financial resources through scholarships or financial aid to go to the school of your choice, you can make that decision. What you should do is talk to your parents about how you can stay connected to them via Skype, regular visits and phone calls.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is prom season, and I would like to create a program to donate clothes to young people who may not be able to afford a gown or a tuxedo. I would like to make this happen this year. However, I would like to take my time to plan this out accordingly for next year. How can I help young people this year as I plan the business for the future? I know so many people with hardly worn evening gowns that are just sitting around. -- Getting Dressed, Cincinnati

DEAR GETTING DRESSED: Why not start by asking your friends if they would be willing to lend dresses this year with the promise of renting next year? Talk to a school that you know and find out if you can use a classroom to set up as a "store" where students can come and "shop" for a prom dress. Test the waters and see how popular the idea is for these students. Make sure that you do charge a cleaning fee for the clothing so that you can return it in pristine condition.

If your test works, use the time between now and next prom season to set yourself up as a business, secure the dresses you want to offer, establish price points, create marketing materials and open up for business. Good luck!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is ill, and a distant family member from out of state decided to pay us a visit. It was nice to see my husband's cousin because he was able to lift my husband's spirits in this time of need. A few months after our guest visited our home, we discovered we had bedbugs. I called the exterminator: He went to the guest room and confirmed how long we have had them. I am thinking there is a strong possibility that we got them from our houseguest. (We rarely have guests these days, and he was the only sleepover guest in a few years.)

It has been a nightmare around here for close to a year trying to get rid of them, and I think we have seen the last of them. Now my cousin wants to visit us in the next two months. What can we say or do to prevent this from happening again without offending anyone? -- Bedbugs Do Bite, Milwaukee

DEAR BEDBUGS DO BITE: What an awkward situation! In times like these, it's often best to be thoughtfully direct. Get your cousin on the phone and tell him that you have a very uncomfortable topic to broach with him. Ask him if his home has bedbugs. Explain that the reason you are asking is because shortly after he visited your home last year, you discovered an infestation in the guest room where he slept. Add that no one else has slept in that room for years.

Acknowledge how awkward this discussion is, and point out that thousands of people have reported getting bedbugs in recent years. Tell him that you need to know because you are concerned about getting them again since it took a year to get rid of them.

If he acts insulted, apologize for making him feel uncomfortable. If he says he has had them, do your best not to let him sleep at your house (or bring his luggage there). If he swears it wasn't him, invite him at your own risk. Ask your exterminator if there's anything preventative you can do to kill bedbugs before they become a problem.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance and I are in a long-distance military relationship. We have discussed eloping to Las Vegas so I can move to be with him. My father is not enthusiastic about it. He would like to be there for my wedding, but my fiance comes from a large family. Eloping would be our way of not excluding anyone. I feel guilty for wanting this to be just the two of us. Should I plan a small wedding for my father's sake or have a reception when we get back from Las Vegas? -- Let's Get Married Today! Brooklyn, New York

DEAR LET'S GET MARRIED TODAY!: You and your fiance have to make a plan that works for you and, to the best of your ability, for both families. Is there a way that you can have a very small wedding with both sets of parents only and a party for everyone later? If not, explain to your father your decision for eloping and ask him to host the reception so that he will be central in the unveiling of the couple.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my boyfriend has a gambling addiction. I had been trying to figure out what was going on. He would get paid and then disappear for days at a time and then always be broke. He is good at making up excuses, like he had to give money to his mother for the doctor or he had to get his car repaired. He has come up with what sound like legitimate reasons to be broke. In fact, they have been so good that I often have given him extra money to help out.

Well, I just saw some of his bills, and he hasn't paid a lot of them for months. Plus, I saw receipts from a casino on several occasions. When I asked him about it, he admitted that he likes to gamble. When I pressed him, he said that he is in debt because of it. What should I do? I thought we were going to be a serious couple and get married, but now I don't know. I can't marry an active gambler. What can I do? -- Dating a Gambler, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR DATING A GAMBLER: It's great that your boyfriend told you the truth, at least part of it, about his gambling tendencies. Now it's your turn to put your foot down. Tell him how much you care about him and want him to have a healthy life, and more, that you want to share your life with him. But make it clear that you are unwilling to be committed to him if he doesn't clean up his act. Suggest that he go to Gamblers Anonymous or to some other type of counseling.

You may have to step away from him until he takes action. It often takes an extreme situation for an addict to make a change. You also need to be prepared to walk if he cannot or will not make the effort to transform his life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a group of old friends last week and had such a great, impromptu visit with them. It reminded me of how much fun we used to have when we were younger. Now I have a family, as do a couple of the other women. We all said we want to get together again, but I'm afraid it will never happen. Time seems to slip by.

I was thinking that I would invite them all to a cookout at my house this summer. That way the ones with kids could feel comfortable bringing them. But I'm worried that it won't actually happen. How can I ensure that if I put out the energy for this, it will be worth it? -- Reconnecting, Denver

DEAR RECONNECTING: Rather than hinging a party solely around this group of old friends, why not host a summer party as you normally would? You can add this group of people to the list, but don't make it for them exclusively. Invite everyone to RSVP, and then enjoy whoever shows up. If you don't give too much fretful energy to this gathering, you will have a better time.