DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm pretty sure that my co-worker has allergies. For the past few weeks, he has been coughing and sneezing and blowing his nose nonstop. I am sure he can't help it, but I can also tell you that it is highly annoying. He uses boxes of tissues and doesn't always throw them away. His cubicle is filled with nasty, dirty tissues. Sometimes he comes into my space, and I don't want him there because I don't think he washes his hands. I don't mean to be rude, but I do think he should probably take some allergy medicine and be tidier. Can I say that to him? -- Allergic to Allergy Sufferer, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR ALLERGIC TO ALLERGY SUFFERER: It's weird how allergies affect more than the person who is directly suffering from the change in the environment. It is likely that your co-worker is oblivious to how his health challenge is affecting you or anyone else. He is likely so besieged by the way his body is being tortured that he has no idea that he is, in turn, torturing others.

So yes, I suggest that you tell him. You may want to come with an offering of hand sanitizer. Tell him that you feel bad for him that he seems to be having such a hard time with the changing of the seasons. Point out that you are a little concerned that he is inadvertently contaminating the office. Ask him if he would try to throw out his tissues right away and just try to keep things tidy. While this may feel awkward at first, at least you will have alerted him to the way he is affecting you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is having a big party next month, and she has asked all of her friends to join her. To do this requires getting on a plane, paying for a hotel and hanging out with a group of people who sometimes get on my nerves. Frankly, I don't want to do it. I love my friend, but I want my space. I have been working like a dog for the past few weeks, and I would rather just stay home and be by myself. At the same time, I don't want to be a party pooper. How can I beg off without seeming rude? -- Wanting My Space, Detroit

DEAR WANTING MY SPACE: There is nothing wrong with saying no -- nicely. You don't even have to make up an excuse. Write your friend a lovely note or call her and express your regrets that you will not be able to join her for her big soiree. Wish her the best. Assure her that you know it will be a good time. And call it a day.

If she asks you why you cannot come, you can tell her that you just can't make it. Do not tell her your thoughts about the other friends. You can say that you are exhausted and need to rest, but you don't have to reveal that, either.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my church members lost her son when he was killed tragically in a car crash. I feel so sorry for her. She has decided to take up the cause against drunk drivers because of this, and she has asked all of the members of the church to support her. I understand how upset she is, and I do want to help. What I don't want to do is to join the committee and march and all of the other stuff she has planned. It's not because I don't care. I really do. But I have my own life and responsibilities, and I feel like I can't take on anything else. I have offered to make a donation, but so far, she has not agreed to take it. She wants me to be boots on the ground with her. How can I support her and draw the line on what I will do? -- Striking a Balance, Cleveland

DEAR STRIKING A BALANCE: I'm so sorry to hear of your church member's loss. This type of death is very hard to understand and accept. Good for her that she wants to bring awareness to such an important topic. And good for you that you know your limitations. You can be clear with this woman that you love and support her and that the way you can be of help is financial.

She may not realize it yet, but everything costs money. What you are able to contribute will eventually prove to be helpful. You can have an honest and compassionate conversation with her, explaining that this is the way that you can help her and that you hope she will accept it. Put a check in an envelope with a sympathy card and give it to her. When she asks you to do something you cannot or do not want to do, say no.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 10-year-old daughter has it in her mind that she needs glasses. She has been pestering me for weeks about it. I feel pretty certain that the reason she's asking is because her two best friends at school just started wearing them. I don't like getting caught up in her doing what her friends are doing. But she's already there. She has been wearing sunglasses indoors. Of course, when I ask her why, she jokes it away. But I know. She also keeps asking me to take her to the doctor to get her glasses. How can I get her to calm down? I feel pretty confident this is a ruse. -- Seeing Straight, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR SEEING STRAIGHT: My vote is for taking her to the eye doctor. You can go to an optician, an ophthalmologist or even to an ophthalmologist who specializes in pediatrics. Why not check to see if your daughter's eyesight is healthy? Then it won't be your word against hers. A doctor can let you know the status of her eyes and whether she needs corrective lenses or not.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I bought some art years ago that may have gone up in value. I was reading the other day about two of my artists who are about to have shows in my town, and it occurred to me that I might be able to sell this work at a profit. I mentioned it to my girlfriend, who thought I was being opportunistic. She actually told me that she thought I should figure out other ways to make money than to sell the art off my walls. I'm not sure if she's right on this one. Why can't I sell my art if I want to? What do you think, and how would I go about it if I wanted to sell it anyway? -- Art for Sale, Chicago

DEAR ART FOR SALE: First of all, it is not in poor taste to sell the art that you own. While art dealers will not recommend that you buy art for its resale value -- but instead that you acquire it because you love it -- some art does appreciate over time.

If you are fortunate enough to have art of value, you absolutely can test the market to see if you can sell it. Art consultant Cheryl R. Riley suggests that you do your research to see what the value of the artist's work is today. You can look the artist up in galleries, museums and other exhibitions. You can contact the dealer or person from whom you bought the art to see if they may want to buy it back. You can hire an art consultant to find a buyer for you. All of these options are perfectly reasonable.

You also don't have to tell your friend anything about it. This is your choice -- and your business.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Spring is finally here, and I want to begin an exercise routine. Last year at this time, I started walking, and it really helped me to lose weight and feel better. But I totally stopped when it got cold outside. I'm thinking that I may be better at this if I do it with a buddy. But then I might feel worse if I let a buddy down. How can I get back into the swing of paying attention to my body? -- Claiming Fitness, Denver

DEAR CLAIMING FITNESS: You are not alone in your quest for a fitness refresh at this time of year. A lot of people lose their discipline in the winter months. Rather than chastising yourself, just commit to tending to your body more. If you can remember that your body is the vessel that allows you to live and do all of the things that you want to do, you may be better able to resolve to care for it in the best possible way.

I find that recognizing the spiritual value of my body helps me to make smarter choices. In this way, you are not necessarily working out hard to lose 10 pounds. Instead, you are eating smarter, exercising more consistently and sleeping longer in order to honor your life. Taking this approach may make it easier to show up for yourself every day -- with or without a buddy.