DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been trying to reach a good friend of mine for several weeks, but he never answers his phone or returns my calls. I find this incredibly annoying. I know that he is busy, but so am I. So the other day, I was looking at Facebook and saw a picture of him at a party that I had also been invited to attend. I got so mad. I get that he went to the party, but if he is out having a great time, why can't he give me the respect to return my call? I thought of posting something nasty on Facebook, but I didn't. What can I do to make it known that I feel slighted? -- Licking My Wounds, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR LICKING MY WOUNDS: Stop obsessing over this friend. Sure, it was rude of him to blow you off. Now you are 100 percent certain that he can exhibit bad behavior. Rather than going back for another dose of it, let it go. Live your life. Engage with friends who want to spend time with you. Calling him again or arguing with him about how he isn't treating you right is only going to be more hurtful. Move on.

If he does happen to contact you again, do not rehash the past. Be in the present. Share the moment if you feel so inclined, but resist the temptation to get caught up in him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is an alcoholic. She has gotten worse recently, to the point that I think she is putting herself and her teenage child in danger. Whenever I have talked to her about it, she just blows me off. She says it's none of my business. I hate seeing her like this, and I worry about her son, who is like a godchild to me. I want to help but don't know what to do. Her other family members are worried, too. How can we help her? -- Friend in Crisis, Savannah, Georgia

DEAR FRIEND IN CRISIS: Talk to the other family members about staging an intervention. Sometimes when a group of loved ones approaches the person in crisis together, a message gets through. You may want to write down your thoughts and feelings and literally read them to her at a meeting that you invite her to attend. This way you ensure that you get all of your points out even though it will likely be a very emotional exchange. Suggest that she go to rehab to get help. Decide together on someone who may be able to watch her son while she gets the help she needs.

If she refuses to get help, a family member may want to demand that the child go with one of them until she gets her life in order. If she is unwilling to allow that either, you may need to involve the law. A minor deserves to be in a safe and healthy environment. If this boy's mother is in the throes of alcoholism and making poor decisions that may affect his life, he needs to be separated from her -- at least until she gets it together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who is really annoying. She talks on the phone to her friends whenever our boss is not around, which means she is often late completing her work. Because we work together, this often affects me. I can't get some of my work done until she finishes hers.

I'm not quite sure why she thinks it's OK to be so lackadaisical at work. She has only been here for about two months. If I were her boss, she would not pass that probationary period. I'm tempted to say something to my boss about her, but I don't want to be a tattletale. I doubt if I say something to her that it will make a difference. What should I do? -- Step Up or Step Out, New Orleans

DEAR STEP UP OR STEP OUT: I can hear your frustration through your letter. Take a moment and step back. What do you need from this co-worker in order to be able to do your job? If you can clearly articulate that, then you should be able to talk to her. Invite her to chat with you one day off premises -- perhaps during lunch. Tell her that you are concerned that you have been having difficulty getting your work done on time because the things she is supposed to do have been coming to you late. Ask her if she needs support in organizing her time.

You might also point out that you know that your company has a probationary period -- because you were on probation when you first started -- and you are concerned for her that if she does not tighten up her work, she may be in trouble. If she does not attempt to improve after that, you should go to your boss, not as a tattletale, but more as an advocate for yourself. Let your boss know that you are worried about your ability to get your work done in a timely manner because of the new employee's poor habits.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently worked with a guy on a group project. While he was definitely talented, he was also really loud. It seemed like he took pride in that too, as if being the loud and funny guy was a badge of honor. Sure, there were times when we laughed because he liked to crack jokes. But there's a time and a place for everything, only he didn't think so. There's going to be another project that he might be good for. How can I get him to calm down enough that I would consider inviting him back? -- Straighten Up or Else, Boston

DEAR STRAIGHTEN UP OR ELSE: My sister used to say, "The worst that you have seen of a person is the only thing that is guaranteed." While that may seem harsh, it is also true. You can talk to this man about behaving more professionally, but if he didn't do it before, there's no reason to trust that he can button it up the next go-round.

You need to decide if you can stomach his crude or loud ways if he is unable to follow your rules. Is he worth it if he can't contain himself?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 15-year-old son just told me that he is gay. I kind of suspected it, but that's completely different from actually dealing with it. I totally support my son to become whatever he is to be, but I have no idea of how to help him through what will surely be some tough times. For starters, I know my husband is going to freak out. He is West Indian and stereotypically homophobic. My son will need his father to have his back. And then there are the extended family members. I need help in order to help him. -- Standing by His Side, Chicago

DEAR STANDING BY HIS SIDE: Begin by simply and completely being there for your son. Let him tell you about his feelings, what prompted him to talk about it now, and any experiences that he would like to share with you. Be a great listener. That means biting your tongue when you feel like inserting comments or judgments. Be an active listener.

When he asks for your advice, start with your basic values about sexual activity at his age. Regardless of sexual orientation, you surely have guidelines for what you recommend. Remind your son of these guidelines, as they should protect him.

As far as your husband and extended family go, take it one day at a time. Agree with your son about who will break the news to his dad. If he wants to have the conversation, offer to stand by his side. Afterward, talk to your husband about the importance of supporting your son even though it's difficult. For other family members, do not tell them until your son is ready. Meanwhile, help him to build a support network of people who will help him to come in to his own responsibly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In this day and age, do you think that handwritten thank-you notes matter? So many people send communication via email, from invitations to thank-you notes, that sometimes I feel like the old-fashioned way is obsolete. Trust me, my children feel that way. Even for their grandmother who is not online, it is hard to get them to send a note. How can I get them to go old-fashioned at least for people who are not using email? -- Good Manners, Washington, D.C.

DEAR GOOD MANNERS: Teach by example. Sit down with your children and help them write notes to their grandmother and anyone else you want them to send a note of acknowledgment. When you receive gifts or have other reasons to send a note, make sure that your children witness you receiving the item and then taking the time to write, address and mail the note of gratitude. You can have them walk with you to the mailbox or to the post office to buy stamps. You may even want to take them to card stores to help you pick out cards for various occasions. This may inspire them to get into the whole experience of the cycle of gratitude with more enthusiasm.