DEAR HARRIETTE: Tooth decay runs in my family. Nearly everybody who got to be 40 has ended up with dentures. I am the first one to retain most of my teeth. I have had a bunch of dental procedures, but so far, no dentures. I mention this because I have two children who have inherited poor dental habits even though I have been vigilant about my own teeth. I don't know what to do to get them to understand the repercussions if they do not start practicing better dental hygiene. -- Clean Mouth, Denver

DEAR CLEAN MOUTH: If you live near any of your family members and are close to them, ask them to help you out by coming over -- together, preferably -- and doing a reveal of their mouths. Ask them to show your children what happens when you don't take care of your teeth. That kind of "scared straight" approach has awakened people to the potential downside of poor habits.

Shy of agreement from your family on this, you can go online and show your children countless examples of photos of people with poor dental hygiene and the erosive results. You can also take away privileges if they refuse to brush and floss their teeth. Don't give up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What is the right age to let girls wear makeup? I have a daughter in the fifth grade. Most of the girls are 10 and 11 years old. They are just beginning to take an interest in beauty. One of the girls has come to school a few times wearing lipstick -- not lip gloss. It was bright red. I thought it was inappropriate for her age. Obviously, she's not my child, but I am concerned about my daughter getting the wrong impression of what is right for her age. I don't want to speak poorly about this girl, but at the same time I want my daughter to be clear on what I think is appropriate. I currently allow her to wear colorless lip gloss, and that's it. She seems to be happy with that. -- Setting the Standards, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR SETTING THE STANDARDS: If your daughter is clear about the guidelines that you have set for her -- for now -- there is no reason for you to mention the girl with the lipstick at all. If your daughter brings it up, you can tell her that you do not approve of lipstick for children her age, but that you do understand that different families may have different values.

You may want to outline for yourself what your daughter will be allowed when she is 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16. This should include wearing makeup, wearing heels and dating. You have entered the space of puberty, and your daughter will benefit from understanding your expectations as she grows up. You don't need to tell her everything right now, but it is wise for you to think about the next few years so that you are ready when she asks the questions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine just lost her father after a prolonged illness, and now her mother is ill. It's such a tragic story, it makes me sick. Her mom was the caregiver for years. Now that her husband is gone and she can finally relax, she falls ill and is in critical condition. My friend is beside herself in grief and worry. I don't know how to help her. What can I do? -- Dealing with Grief, Boston

DEAR DEALING WITH GRIEF: Be a friend to your friend by offering an attentive listening ear. If it sounds like she can use a break and can steal away for a bit, invite her over for dinner or a night out. Offer to support her in whatever ways work for you, especially while her mother is in critical condition.

While you cannot do a lot, just consistently letting your friend know that you love her and are available to support her should help her to feel less isolated through this difficult period.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I wrote something a bit insensitive in a text to a friend of mine about my 12-year-old son, and he ended up seeing it on my phone. I feel terrible. I would never intentionally hurt my boy, but he and I had had an argument and I was blowing off steam to my friend. When my son brought it up to me, I didn't know what to say, so I apologized. But I feel like I did exactly what I tell him not to do. Do not talk about people, period. How can I regain his trust? -- Broken Rules, Detroit

DEAR BROKEN RULES: In any situation with your son, what you need to look for is the teaching moment. So, you messed up. You did admit it, and you apologized. Now double back to your son and tell him you want to talk about it. Open the conversation by saying that you wanted to revisit the texting incident because you realize how bad it was. Tell him that part of the reason why you are able to set guidelines and boundaries is because you have learned from your own mistakes. Point out that you made one of the key mistakes that you have told him to avoid: reacting publicly in the moment when you are upset about something.

Ask him what advice he thinks you would give him if the tables were turned. What might he suggest that you do instead of what you did? Discuss his ideas openly and honestly. Come up with an agreement for how you both can handle intense feelings privately in the future. Your candor in this situation will help to build trust with your son if you remain open and honest about your behavior.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A new "friend" on Facebook has been posting like crazy of late and tagging me on a ton of her posts. While many of them are harmless, although not necessarily what I would post, some are a bit offensive. I have awakened several mornings to see a flurry of commentary from people about controversial postings that she has made and tagged to me. She has very few friends compared to my at-capacity list. I don't yet want to block her, but I do want her to be more discriminating when she includes me. It's almost as if she is using my expanded audience to build her own. I don't like that. What should I do about it? -- Slow Your Role, Washington, D.C.

DEAR SLOW YOUR ROLE: It's time to use a powerful Facebook feature -- the direct message. Go to her page, and on the upper right-hand corner, you will notice a tab that says MESSAGE. Click that and write to her. Tell her how you feel about her posting tags on your page, and ask her either to stop tagging you altogether or to be more discriminating. Tell her what you find offensive or inappropriate for your page. You can also point out that you do not accept the role of helping her build her audience through tagging. If she responds graciously, you can allow her to stay in your "friends" portfolio. If she continues to be too intrusive, you can block her from your page altogether.

Just be aware that it could all go south, and fast. Many people become extremely defensive when actually contacted by a "friend" rather than living anonymously in cyberspace. If this person goes to an extremely intense place, just "unfriend" her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son was invited to go away on spring break with one of his middle school friends. The mom insisted that the whole trip was a gift. She just wanted my son and another child to come along. I sent my boy with a couple hundred dollars just in case he might need it. He came home with all of the money. I'm wondering what I can do to express my gratitude for this family's generosity. I know it was an expensive trip. I don't ever want them to think of us as freeloaders. -- Saying Thanks, Albany, New York

DEAR SAYING THANKS: Here's a time when you should believe a parent for what he or she says. Chances are your child was invited to be company for their child. If they were going anyway, adding a child or even more than one was their prerogative and not necessarily exorbitantly expensive. But even if the trip was pricey, that was their call.

Rather than feeling guilty about accepting their generosity, do what you can on the homefront. You can start by having your son write a thank-you note to the child who invited him on the trip. Next, you can see if your son would like to develop more of a rapport with this kid outside of school -- play dates, sleepovers, etc. Very naturally, you can simply be an attentive parent and include this child in your family activities -- if both children are interested.