DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, who is only 8 years old, has begun to have serious underarm odor. She is athletic, which may account for this. But I was shocked to discover that she smelled like an adult after a long day without deodorant. I am afraid that she is heading toward puberty more quickly than I can manage, or that something else may be wrong with her. How should I deal with this? And if it continues, is it safe to have her wear deodorant? -- Got a Whiff, Denver

DEAR GOT A WHIFF: Many children's bodies begin to develop as early as 8 years old. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it is increasingly true. In order to determine where your daughter fits in her own personal development, you must visit her pediatrician. Explain the underarm odor as well as any other changes that are noticeable in her body or her behavior. The doctor will conduct a thorough examination and likely be able to tell you if puberty is near.

You should also consult the doctor about how to remedy the odor. Of course, you should teach your daughter proper hygiene. At that age, many parents oversee their children's bathing. You can teach her how to scrub her armpits with soap to get them as clean as possible. Her doctor may recommend a natural deodorant. What you want to avoid is an antiperspirant.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is vegetarian. It is a decision my husband and I made long before we had children. Our children are completely comfortable with our food choices. A question came up recently with my son's school friends. He invited two friends over for a sleepover to celebrate his birthday. When it came time for dinner, even though these boys know how we eat, they started asking for meat and got pretty loud about it. I made them pasta and vegetables. I really thought they got disrespectful, but I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. I held my ground and let them know what the meal was. I did not reprimand them for their behavior because I didn't want to risk alienating them from my son. What else could I have done? We don't eat meat, and I didn't want to serve it in my house. -- Drawing a Line, Syracuse, New York

DEAR DRAWING A LINE: Every family has values and guidelines it follows. The fact that you made it clear in advance how your family eats means that these children should have been prepared to follow your guidelines. A gentle reminder should have been all that was necessary.

The fact that they behaved disrespectfully toward you is not something to sweep under the rug, though. You should talk to your son about the behavior and gauge how he feels about it. I hope that he would have found it rude and that he would want to say something to his friends about how they spoke to you. What's important is for your son to learn that his friends should treat his parents with respect. Otherwise, they really are not being the kinds of friends that you want him to have.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I do not agree on how to start our day, and it is becoming a problem. She likes to turn on the TV the moment she wakes up so she can see the morning news. As a result, the TV is on through breakfast. She often doesn't even remember to turn it off as she goes out the door. Apart from how distracting that is for us in terms of having a morning conversation, it also makes it hard for our children to stay focused when they are eating breakfast. I have brought this up countless times, and my wife just brushes me off. She doesn't even notice that they are sometimes late for school. How can I get her to consider changing this behavior? -- Turn It Off, Philadelphia

DEAR TURN IT OFF: Have a private talk with your wife during a neutral time. Face-to-face, without distraction, tell her that you are very concerned about the habits that the children are forming due to her insistence that the TV be on in the morning. Point out that they often take too long to eat, get to school late and do not start the day engaging directly with the two of you because the TV looms too large.

Challenge her to a week without morning TV. Assess how well it goes for everyone, and then encourage her to keep it up, with a maximum of one morning a week, if she just can't help herself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is a complete slob. I really don't know how she got to be so messy, but it's out of control now. The last time I visited her, I could hardly get in the door because she had so much stuff piled up. Her house smelled like old food, and I could tell that she has rodents. It is really awful, and I'm worried about her. I had the thought that I should call that show "Hoarders" and see if it would do an intervention for her. Maybe something that extreme might get her to reconsider how she keeps her house. My husband thinks that's a crazy idea. What do you think? -- Time to Clean Up, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR TIME TO CLEAN UP: I'm with your husband. Do not humiliate your friend by calling a TV show to rescue her. I do not think that is an effective way to support her, even though she is in a stressful place in her life. My research about hoarding suggests that this is a form of OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and, not surprisingly, that it is extremely hard to address effectively.

That said, given that you love your friend and want the best for her, you may want to start by offering to help her tidy her home. If you have the stomach for it, and she allows you in, you may be able to spend a bit of time with her going through some of the things that really need to go as you talk to her. If you are able to get her to consider getting some help to talk about what's going on in her life, that would be a gift to her. Seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in OCD and hoarding would give her a chance to be able to see what her choices mean for her life right now. Awareness is the first step in making any kind of change in life. For more information on hoarding, visit ocd.about.com/od/typesofocd/a/Hoarding.htm.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started an exercise regimen last year and was doing pretty well, walking almost 10 miles a day. And then the winter came. Despite my best intentions, I slacked off dramatically. I ended up gaining back almost all the weight I had lost, and I'm kind of sad about that. Now that spring is here, I want to start my regimen again, but I'm worried it won't work. How can I get motivated to stay on course? -- Get Fit, Syracuse, New York

DEAR GET FIT: Many people get into a similar rut. Warm weather can make it easier for you to get motivated. Rather than worrying about what happens after summer, get moving now. If walking was once your thing, start walking again. Build up to 10,000 steps per day, which is recommended by the American Heart Association for everyone. If you are up for it, add other aerobic activities. You may want to consider hiring a trainer to help you get started. If you have any friends who may want to walk with you, enlist them. This will help you to keep up your activity, even when you don't feel like it.

Once you have established a rhythm, add an indoor physical activity so that when the weather does change, you already have established an exercise program that will keep you going.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband's family lives far away, and we get to visit them only once a year. He has cousins who live kind of close to my family, a few states away from us. We used to go visit those cousins when we traveled to see my mom. In recent years, we haven't been in touch with them at all. I feel somewhat responsible for this because when we go home, I often just want to hang with my parents and siblings. Time doesn't seem to last long enough to see everybody. My husband never mentions it, so I just forgot. This year, I remembered them and thought we should make an effort to include them in our next trip. The thing is, they really don't know my family, so rather than trying to organize a group activity, I think it's best to do something separate. How can I organize this without making it a hassle? -- Engaging Family, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR ENGAGING FAMILY: Making a conscious effort to include all of your family members in regular get-togethers is a wonderful way to stay connected. Rather than bemoaning what you did not do in the past, it's great for you to figure out a way to see your husband's extended family more regularly now.

By all means, when you plan your next trip, set aside a day that you will spend with these other relatives. Contact them in advance and find out if they will be available, and then see if you can go visit them. Over time, you may discover that your two families will enjoy spending time together. One step at a time.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)