DEAR HARRIETTE: I started an exercise regimen last year and was doing pretty well, walking almost 10 miles a day. And then the winter came. Despite my best intentions, I slacked off dramatically. I ended up gaining back almost all the weight I had lost, and I'm kind of sad about that. Now that spring is here, I want to start my regimen again, but I'm worried it won't work. How can I get motivated to stay on course? -- Get Fit, Syracuse, New York

DEAR GET FIT: Many people get into a similar rut. Warm weather can make it easier for you to get motivated. Rather than worrying about what happens after summer, get moving now. If walking was once your thing, start walking again. Build up to 10,000 steps per day, which is recommended by the American Heart Association for everyone. If you are up for it, add other aerobic activities. You may want to consider hiring a trainer to help you get started. If you have any friends who may want to walk with you, enlist them. This will help you to keep up your activity, even when you don't feel like it.

Once you have established a rhythm, add an indoor physical activity so that when the weather does change, you already have established an exercise program that will keep you going.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband's family lives far away, and we get to visit them only once a year. He has cousins who live kind of close to my family, a few states away from us. We used to go visit those cousins when we traveled to see my mom. In recent years, we haven't been in touch with them at all. I feel somewhat responsible for this because when we go home, I often just want to hang with my parents and siblings. Time doesn't seem to last long enough to see everybody. My husband never mentions it, so I just forgot. This year, I remembered them and thought we should make an effort to include them in our next trip. The thing is, they really don't know my family, so rather than trying to organize a group activity, I think it's best to do something separate. How can I organize this without making it a hassle? -- Engaging Family, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR ENGAGING FAMILY: Making a conscious effort to include all of your family members in regular get-togethers is a wonderful way to stay connected. Rather than bemoaning what you did not do in the past, it's great for you to figure out a way to see your husband's extended family more regularly now.

By all means, when you plan your next trip, set aside a day that you will spend with these other relatives. Contact them in advance and find out if they will be available, and then see if you can go visit them. Over time, you may discover that your two families will enjoy spending time together. One step at a time.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends wants to get a tummy tuck, and she is intent upon doing it this spring. Being someone who has had a lot of non-elective surgery, I am reluctant to even consider going under the knife when it isn't needed. Naturally, I think this is a horrible idea. But another reason I don't like it at all is that my friend is overweight. We don't talk about that so much, but I just don't see how she thinks that getting belly fat cut out is going to solve her problems. Everything I have read suggests that the fat will just fill right back in if you don't actually lose weight. Should I say this to her or just step aside and let her do what she wants? -- Having Her Back, Chicago

DEAR HAVING HER BACK: Your personal concerns about elective surgery aside, you do have a point about the lasting effects of a tummy tuck when a person is overweight. My research suggests that anyone with a body mass index above 30 should not consider this type of surgery. Chances are her surgeon has told her the same thing. Yet many women who are slightly overweight get this surgery on a regular basis. While it does not make them slim, it can flatten out their bellies.

My recommendation would be to step aside. Your friend is working with a doctor who should know the parameters for safely conducting this surgery. You should address the issue only if your friend asks your opinion. Otherwise, just be there to support her recovery should she need it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was growing up, my mom taught me how to cook at a very early age. My husband is reluctant to let me teach my 8-year-old how to cook because he's worried she will cut herself or burn the kitchen. Obviously, we need to have guidelines, including always having adult supervision during cooking, but I want to get started now. How can I assure my husband that we will be careful? -- Ready to Cook, Tallahassee, Florida

DEAR READY TO COOK: You can get child-size kitchen tools that are made for smaller hands and that have safety features built in. You can also set up kitchen rules with your daughter that outline what she is allowed to do. You may want to invite your husband to join you two in the kitchen so that he can observe how you will work together.

Your husband is not wrong in being cautious about your daughter using knives and heat. Assure him that you will teach her how to be safe in the kitchen. Many children begin to learn how to help out in the kitchen and ultimately become competent cooks when they start young. You just have to make sure that you take one step at a time, introducing more challenging skills as your daughter grows up.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 13-year-old son. I admit that my husband and I are very strict with him about lots of things, including what he watches on TV and what movies he views. I learned that some of his friends routinely get to watch R-rated movies -- either because their parents are lenient or because their parents have given them no restrictions on what they watch on TV. When I learned that, I decided not to let my son go over their houses anymore. I want to limit what he sees, at least for now. Routinely, when he asks me if he can see a movie that is rated R, I automatically say no. I'm wondering if I should amend that. I don't want him to start ignoring me, even though I do think these other parents are making it harder for me to keep up my standards. -- Drawing the Line, Jackson, Missippi

DEAR DRAWING THE LINE: Movies have ratings for a reason. You are not wrong with your rule that your teenage son should be limited to age-appropriate viewing material. That said, it may be true -- in some instances -- that the reason that a movie receives that rating is due to factors that may not be too offensive or inappropriate for some children his age. You have to view the movies first to see if you think your son would be comfortable watching them.

I recommend you do this even if your intention is not to have him watch the popular movies of the season. Why? Because there's a very good chance that he will see some of them or at least hear about them among his peers.

Your job as a parent is to help your son interpret the information that is coming at him through your family's values. Whatever you allow him to watch, make sure that you have an open dialogue about the events and cultural content that cross his life. It will be in those talks that you can assure that he is on the right track.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I believe in thank-you notes. I'm having a hard time convincing my children that they are important. When they receive presents from people, I tell them that they should write a note immediately to express their gratitude. Half the time they do nothing. How can I get them to be more responsible? -- Enforcing Good Manners, Los Angeles

DEAR ENFORCING GOOD MANNERS: While you don't want to run the risk of making good manners seem like a punishment, you may have to enforce a kind of punishment to get your children to fall in order. Tell them that they cannot use the item they've been given until they write the note. You may have to extend the penalty to no use of electronics if they remain lackadaisical.

Another approach that may open their eyes is to point out that someone thought about them enough to buy or make them a gift and give it to them. That thoughtfulness is special and deserving of acknowledgment. Sit with your children and help them get the notes written. If they see you doing it, the practice may rub off on them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)