DEAR HARRIETTE: I saw a posting on Facebook the other day from a former colleague of mine. If I read her words correctly, it sounded like she is suicidal. I'm not kidding. I have noticed a few people in my life who are sounding depressed these days. I don't know if it's because the weather has been so lousy and people get down when it's cold and nasty, or if I should be worried because it could be a sign that they are actually considering suicide. What are the signs that I should look out for, and what can I do if I think a friend really might want to take his or her life? -- Life on the Line, Chicago

DEAR LIFE ON THE LINE: Mental health professionals suggest that if a friend or loved one is talking about suicide, you should take them seriously. Don't blow off any such comments. Instead, ask them how they are feeling. You can ask what's going on in their life. Listen carefully, but do not offer advice. You are not trained to help them out of their predicament. You can and should suggest that they get medical help. People who are depressed commonly feel suicidal, according to medical experts. Again, if you think your friend is in such a state, you can reach out and ask if you can be of help. A great resource is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 800-273-8255.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was upset about something that happened at work and came home feeling really frustrated and raw. I told my husband and reached out to get a hug. Instead of hugging me, he gave me a lecture about taking things too seriously and bringing too much of the job home with me.

I get that I can become overwhelmed by things at work sometimes, but I really did not deserve a lecture that day. Honestly, all I needed was a hug and to feel like he had my back. How can I approach my husband differently so that I get a different result the next time I need a little TLC? -- Need a Hug, Syracuse, New York

DEAR NEED A HUG: Men have a tendency to want to solve things when presented with problems. They are often action-oriented and don't knee-jerk to the cuddle that you so desire. One way for you to get what you want is to eliminate the conversation about what happened at work and go straight for what you want: the hug.

When you come home after a hard day and what you want the most is an embrace, ask for that. You can tell your husband that you love him and need to savor one of those wonderful hugs that you know he can give. If he asks why, you can tell him you had a tough day, and you believe his hug will make it better. Leave out the rest of the details -- unless you are ready to listen to his advice.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hired a young man to work with me a couple of months ago. He seemed to have a lot of promise, but then it all seemed to fizzle. I would ask him to complete tasks; when he completed them, he didn't bother to say anything. I told him that initiative is very important to me, as I operate a small business and don't really have time to hold his hand all day. Even though he seems to be smart, he really never demonstrated initiative. What's worse is that a couple of times I asked him to meet me to bring me important paperwork, and each time he was at least 30 minutes late, with no real apology. I am ready to let him go, less than 90 days in. I want to tell him why, as I may be able to help him in his next job. How do you recommend I talk to him? -- End of Probation, Denver

DEAR END OF PROBATION: I trust that you talked to this young man as each incident occurred, because it is clear that he has a lot to learn about work ethic and time management. It is wise, in any event, for you to end this relationship before the typical 90-day probation period.

Sit down with him, and let him know that you will not be keeping him on with you. Tell him you want to give him feedback about his time with you, and then go for it point by point. Explain what having initiative looks like. Do not assume that he understands that. Talk to him about timeliness and what to do when you realize you are running late for anything, especially going to meet your boss. Point out that he should work on improving in these particular areas so that in his next job he will be better prepared to succeed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I go to social events a lot for my job, and I am hardly ever able to get my husband to come with me. He begs off for a variety of reasons, but mainly I think he just doesn't like to go out. He enjoys being at home. I don't press him often about joining me, so I think that when I do ask, it would be nice for him to agree. How can I get the point across to him that I need him by my side sometimes? -- Hating Solo, Dallas

DEAR HATING SOLO: Don't assume that your husband knows that you would like him to go with you. Especially if you have established a rhythm that shows that you can go independently to events with no problem, he likely thinks you are just fine without him.

Tell him that you need him sometimes. Then, the next time that you really wish he would join you, invite him to come and let him know how important it is for you to have him at your side. Letting him know you need him is key.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a decent student, but not so good at math. Sadly, I am horrible at math. Now that kids learn differently from how I was brought up, it's even worse. I cannot help him when he has homework. I feel like I am not taking good care of him because I'm not able to support him in this very important area. How can I step up to help him? I will feel horrible if he fails. -- Mathematically Challenged, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MATHEMATICALLY CHALLENGED: It's time for a tutor. This is exactly why they exist, to support students who need extra help. You should not feel less than because you don't know everything. Join the club of being a parent. None of us is good at everything. Realize what you know and what you don't.

You know you aren't great at math, so do your research. Start with your son's teacher. Find out from him or her if there are tutors at his school or if they can recommend someone who can help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor likes to stop by uninvited on a regular basis. This drives me crazy. She will knock on the door until I answer or start calling my cellphone. I live in a high-rise and we are friendly, but come on. Can't there be boundaries between us? I don't want to be rude to her, but I need her to back off. -- In My Space, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR IN MY SPACE: Over the years, I have gotten quite a few questions like this about how to keep neighbors or even family members at bay. One woman, I recall, said that her in-laws would "pop by" at any time of day, and felt entitled because they are related.

In all of these instances, you have to set clear boundaries for how you want to govern your life. With your neighbor, have a clear and frank conversation -- face to face -- where you make it clear that she cannot come over whenever she feels like it. Tell her that it is intrusive to you and disruptive to your life. Ask her to honor your request for privacy. Tell her that you savor your private time at home, and when she insistently attempts to cross your threshold, it is disruptive to your peace of mind.

Make sure you let her know that this doesn't mean you don't like her. It does mean that you value your private time. Make it clear that if she is unwilling to respect your wishes, it will become personal. It could mean that the two of you will have to sever ties. This may seem harsh, but some people need to be shaken into reality. She sounds like one of those folks. Good luck!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)