DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for about one year now. We first met during freshman year of college but started dating our senior year. We now live together, and both have good jobs in Atlanta.

She asked could she go with her girlfriends to New York for NBA All-Star Weekend. Although I had some doubts, I convinced myself that it would be OK because I trust her. However, when she got back, things seemed a little backward with her. So I began to ask about her experience, and she acted as if everything was fine. Looking at some of her Instagram photographs, I noticed she had met a lot of celebrities, but I knew that would be the norm for that type of weekend. I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I think my girlfriend may have cheated on me while in New York. Any thoughts? -- Questioning Her Actions, Atlanta

DEAR QUESTIONING HER ACTIONS: Face to face, confront your girlfriend about your suspicions. Stay calm as you talk. Tell her that ever since she returned from All-Star Weekend, something has been off in her behavior. Ask her what happened that affected her. Give her a chance to talk. If it seems like she is hedging or lying, ask her point blank if she cheated on you. Tell her you hope it isn't true, but that her behavior suggests otherwise.

Ultimately, you two are going to have to talk this out. Discuss the boundaries in your relationship. You are both young and may want to have other experiences over time. Do not make assumptions. Talk about your values and desires. Agree on what you will do in the future if either of you decides you want to see someone else.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The economy finally seems to be picking up when it comes to business revenue. However, I recently got laid off from my job just before the turn of the season. Recently, I've been interviewing for a couple of jobs, and it seems that I will have some solid options. This is great news because I am eager to get back to work. However, I am nervous because I don't want to choose the job that would put me back into a position where I could easily be fired again as a young employee. I want to allow this layoff to be a sign that I need to work in what interests me most and gives me the most leverage. My question to you is, how will I know which job opportunity is right for me? -- Starting Out, Anchorage, Alaska

DEAR STARTING OUT: It is wise to evaluate what went wrong with your most recent job as you prepare for the next. If you did not have a discussion with your employer about the circumstances of your layoff, double back to him or her and ask. Frame your question by letting your former boss know that you want to improve yourself for the next job. Use that input along with a laser-sharp focus on the job search to help you find a job that works for you. You may not find your dream job right away, but clarity will help you enjoy success on your journey. Doing excellent work creates job security, even for young or new employees.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has attended various anti-drug lectures at her school, and she believes that marijuana is an illegal drug that is bad for you. I am lost for words on how to explain to her that pot is no longer "that bad," because 23 states have approved the medical use, while four states have okayed the recreational use of marijuana. Do you have any suggestions on how I can tell my daughter that some people partake of it in a responsible manner? -- Up in Smoke, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR UP IN SMOKE: Slow down. While marijuana has been recognized for its medicinal purposes, which is great, there is no good reason for you to encourage your daughter to smoke it. It remains a mind-altering substance, not necessarily something you want your child to do. In terms of legality, it is still largely illegal for recreational use. Yes, those laws are changing, but where you live, it is still against the law.

More, though, is the reality that smoking anything is not a recommended choice for anyone, especially a child. You can encourage your daughter not to be judgmental of others' choices. You can explain to her that there are legitimate health reasons for people to use marijuana. You can add that the laws are relaxing for recreational use. This is a good conversation in terms of perspective as it relates to what unlawful activities receive what types of sentences. Many people believe that the sentences for possession of small amounts of marijuana are too high. This is a complicated topic that deserves ongoing discussion with your daughter. Yes, you can tell her that it is the right thing for some people to do. I recommend that, at the same time, you have this discussion without encouraging her to consume.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two aunts who were both married for quite some time and by some strange twist of fate, both of their husbands passed away 15 years ago. To my amazement, my aunts are proud to be called widows. I do not think they are interested in dating again, but I look forward to the day when my aunts can find love once again. How can I convince my aunts that dating is a good thing? -- Auntie Love, Queens, New York

DEAR AUNTIE LOVE: Sometimes when people have enjoyed a full life of love with a partner, they have no need or desire for more. Many widows are completely content to live their lives solo, enjoying their friends and family without a partner. If this is what your aunts are telling you, believe them. Instead of trying to convince them to date, encourage them to make their days count. Pay attention to how they spend their time. If they aren't particularly active, encourage them to take a class, join a book club, become a docent at a museum, participate in more church activities, etc.

The bonus in getting them out and about will allow them to meet new people. If a suitor comes along, who knows if they may decide to change their minds about dating!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker is constantly leaving or misplacing her keys at home or at work. Moreover, it seems like these incidents are happening on a more frequent basis, and I feel like something bigger has her mind preoccupied. I would like to know if I could help her in any way. Do you think it is my place to ask her if she would like to talk? -- Concerned Co-worker, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

DEAR CONCERNED CO-WORKER: Thinking about how close you and your co-worker are will help you gauge whether she will hear you. It is worth a try. During a private moment, ask her if she is OK. Point out that you have noticed she's experienced some forgetfulness of late, and you want to see if you can be of support to her. Sometimes when people's behavior is reflected back to them, they notice it more. Your bringing this up may do just that.

Beyond a gentle inquiry, there really is little else for you to do. Sadly, increasing forgetfulness is one sign of dementia and even Alzheimer's disease, but it would be inappropriate and jarring for you to say that to her. Only if she brings it up can you begin such a conversation. Otherwise, just support her as you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One thing I value more than most things is being a man of my word. When someone veers from his word, he veers away from trust. A while ago, a close friend of mine came to me seeking some financial assistance; it wasn't a large amount, and I had no issue lending it. We agreed that he would pay me back in two weeks, but now it's going on almost two months. I hinted to him once that I was looking forward to the day he pays me back, and he jokingly said he would take care of it soon. Two weeks has become two months and soon will transcend into never. Not that I am a detective or anything, but I recently saw that he went on a vacation to New Orleans for Mardi Gras festivities. How should I go about getting repaid? -- Waiting, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR WAITING: I learned a couple of things on this point years ago. First, only offer what you are willing and can afford to give away. In this way, it presents no hardship if you end up not getting it back. Taking this idea a step further, it was also strongly recommended to me not to lend money. It is cleaner to give it and be done. Then you aren't waiting in anticipation of a repayment.

This is not what you did. While you have every right to be reimbursed for your loan, you can see that it may not happen. Before giving up, though, you can be more direct. Contact your friend and ask for the money now. Note that you saw that he went on vacation, which suggests that he has money. Your last-ditch effort can be to guilt him into honoring his commitment to you. Ask him if he really wants to damage your friendship by shirking his responsibilities.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)