DEAR HARRIETTE: My co-worker is constantly leaving or misplacing her keys at home or at work. Moreover, it seems like these incidents are happening on a more frequent basis, and I feel like something bigger has her mind preoccupied. I would like to know if I could help her in any way. Do you think it is my place to ask her if she would like to talk? -- Concerned Co-worker, Baton Rouge, Louisiana

DEAR CONCERNED CO-WORKER: Thinking about how close you and your co-worker are will help you gauge whether she will hear you. It is worth a try. During a private moment, ask her if she is OK. Point out that you have noticed she's experienced some forgetfulness of late, and you want to see if you can be of support to her. Sometimes when people's behavior is reflected back to them, they notice it more. Your bringing this up may do just that.

Beyond a gentle inquiry, there really is little else for you to do. Sadly, increasing forgetfulness is one sign of dementia and even Alzheimer's disease, but it would be inappropriate and jarring for you to say that to her. Only if she brings it up can you begin such a conversation. Otherwise, just support her as you can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One thing I value more than most things is being a man of my word. When someone veers from his word, he veers away from trust. A while ago, a close friend of mine came to me seeking some financial assistance; it wasn't a large amount, and I had no issue lending it. We agreed that he would pay me back in two weeks, but now it's going on almost two months. I hinted to him once that I was looking forward to the day he pays me back, and he jokingly said he would take care of it soon. Two weeks has become two months and soon will transcend into never. Not that I am a detective or anything, but I recently saw that he went on a vacation to New Orleans for Mardi Gras festivities. How should I go about getting repaid? -- Waiting, Charlotte, North Carolina

DEAR WAITING: I learned a couple of things on this point years ago. First, only offer what you are willing and can afford to give away. In this way, it presents no hardship if you end up not getting it back. Taking this idea a step further, it was also strongly recommended to me not to lend money. It is cleaner to give it and be done. Then you aren't waiting in anticipation of a repayment.

This is not what you did. While you have every right to be reimbursed for your loan, you can see that it may not happen. Before giving up, though, you can be more direct. Contact your friend and ask for the money now. Note that you saw that he went on vacation, which suggests that he has money. Your last-ditch effort can be to guilt him into honoring his commitment to you. Ask him if he really wants to damage your friendship by shirking his responsibilities.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I live in a rental property that my father owns. In the beginning, everybody got along. We pay our rent on time and haven't had any real issues with the place. Suddenly, my husband started showing signs of resentment and disrespect toward my father. I am confused because my dad has provided a roof over my family's head. I think my husband is upset because he took a handout from my father. How can I reinforce my husband's confidence to tell him that he is still the man for me, and not my dad? -- Daddy's Baby, Husband's Maybe, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR DADDY'S BABY, HUSBAND'S MAYBE: Talk to your husband about the blessing of family and how fortunate you are right now to be able to live in this property. Remind him that you are paying rent, so it isn't actually a handout. It is a business transaction. Even if your father gave you a discount, it is still business and should be treated as such.

Remind your husband how much you love and respect him and that nothing changes that, including living in your father's house. Tell him you are concerned about the friction between him and your father. Ask him what you can do to support him. If your husband cannot articulate his concerns and does not calm down, you may want to begin looking for another place to live that is on neutral ground. It is more important for you and your husband to cultivate a positive relationship with your family members in the long term than it is to live under your daddy's roof.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 31-year-old woman, and I recently came into a sum of money. I want to invest some money, and I am looking for a nontraditional route to do so. Putting my money into a 401(k) plan or purchasing bonds does not excite me. Do you know of any alternative ways I can invest? -- Investing in My Future, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR INVESTING IN MY FUTURE: Congratulations on choosing to do something other than spend your money on material things. Too often, people come into money and buy stuff or go on trips and blow it in a blink.

Because you are young and want to invest creatively, your best bet is to find a financial adviser who can guide you down that path. Talk to the adviser about your debt, your assets and your vision for your future. Together, you can map out a plan that will reflect your comfort as it relates to risk in investing.

You can find a financial adviser via word of mouth or by doing independent research. Some companies that are popular and well respected include prudential.com, morganstanley.com and goldmansachs.com. There are also smaller investment companies, including some in your own borough. Set up informational interviews with several advisers, and listen to their ideas on what they would suggest you do with your money. Select one based on your level of comfort.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an alcoholic. I started drinking heavily in my fraternity days in college, and I haven't stopped. It wrecked my grades, and I had to drop out of school. Drinking has had a negative impact on my life, and I want to change it. I don't want to do Alcoholics Anonymous because I've been, and it just made me want to drink more. Nor do I think rehab is the way to go.

I want to turn my life around and finish my degree to get a better job. What can I do to change my ways? -- Ready to Change, Flint, Mich.

DEAR READY TO CHANGE: Congratulations on realizing that you need to change your life. Awareness is the key to your success in kicking this addiction. You need to get help.

Start by going to your internist and getting a physical to check on your overall health. Ask your doctor to recommend a method of detoxification that may work for you. Options include going to a therapist who specializes in drug and alcohol addiction. Many alcoholics do one-on-one therapy like this or attend group therapy with a professional counselor. If you have insurance, it may help pay for counseling.

Your doctor also may suggest that you reconsider the options you say you have ruled out. Although you didn't like Alcoholics Anonymous in the past, you may want to revisit it. There are many AA meetings, so you may be able to find a different one that is more suited to you. AA is free and you can go every day, which has proved helpful for people who are trying to kick this insidious habit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At an event, I spoke to a woman who immediately asked if I remembered her. Her face was familiar, but I didn't really know who she was. She kept insisting, and finally I had to tell her I wasn't sure. She went on to tell me that I never remember her, and it was obvious her feelings were hurt. That wasn't my intention at all.

What else could I have done? And do you think it's right for people to ask if you remember them? I feel like they're setting themselves up for a letdown. -- Embarrassed, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Usually a friendly greeting is enough to satisfy people when you see them. What people want most is to be acknowledged. Of course, it's best to state the person's name if you know it. But if you don't and you are asked that question, you could say, "I know your face but don't remember why. Will you remind me?" Then it's on the other person to fill in the blanks.

I would strongly advise against asking someone if he or she remembers you, though. Instead, you could help out the person by saying your name and adding something like, "I met you last year at X event," or whatever the reminder might be. That way, you reinforce your connection rather than create discomfort.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)