DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is very religious, as is his family. He goes to church every Sunday. I was raised relatively religious, but I don't really practice anything anymore. I don't enjoy going to church, but I feel like it would be a nice gesture. Would he appreciate my going to church with him even if I don't feel the same way about religion that he does? -- Secular Girl, Miami

DEAR SECULAR GIRL: This is tricky. Your boyfriend likely would appreciate your making the effort to go to church with him if it means you might rediscover your faith. But to go to church just to make him happy, without having any interest in accessing your own spirituality, is insincere. That doesn't mean you should not go.

I recommend you take the time to reflect on your religious values and beliefs. Ask yourself why you don't enjoy going to church. Contemplate why you are interested in this man who is deeply religious, and whether there's a future for you as a couple if he and his family have very different religious views from you.

These things are worth considering, because religious beliefs figure prominently into people's relationships when religion is important to them. Couples can have healthy relationships even when one does not share the same faith or is not as zealous as the other, but I assure you it is generally easier if both are on the same page religiously.

So, talk with your boyfriend about your religious views. And go to church with him if you are willing to see if there's something there for you, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently partied hard one night and ended up very drunk and almost had to be taken to the hospital. His boyfriend also was very drunk and was taken to the hospital.

Both of them are fine now, and after intense hangovers they don't seem to understand the severity of what they almost got themselves into. My friend wasn't able to walk on his own without falling, and I had to help him.

How can I get them to understand that what happened was serious and that, had it been a little worse, there could have been dire consequences? -- Worried, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR WORRIED: You have every reason to be alarmed by your friends' behavior. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 79,000 people die each year because of excessive drinking. That is a staggering number. Binge drinking for a man can be five or more drinks, while heavy drinking for a man starts at two drinks daily. Honestly, though, it's relative based upon a person's height, weight and tolerance for alcohol.

It is dangerous to drink excessively. The body cannot handle it. Scare your friends into taking it seriously by telling them the stats. That may help.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two best friends. From my understanding, one maid of honor is enough. All three of us are extremely close. What's the deciding factor? Who should I pick? I've known them both equally as long. -- Patricia, Harrisonburg, Virginia

DEAR PATRICIA: Guess what? You don't have to follow tradition on this one. If you have two best friends, why not make both of them your maids of honor? List them in the program that way, and claim them both as the two women you want to bestow with that honorific.

In terms of who stands directly next to you, make it easy on yourself and put the person who is the tallest or the shortest at your side. Or select another fact, such as who was born first or something else that is neutral. And explain your reasons to them for the "neutrality." Emphasize that you would like to bestow the role of maid of honor on both of them. Then divide up the duties that you would have them handle or ask them to work on their responsibilities together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At a happy-hour networking event, is it wrong to meet a CEO with a drink your hand? I was introduced to this important professional who was hanging by the bar with a mixed drink. I had a drink in my hand as well. Was this OK? -- Minnie, New York City

DEAR MINNIE: If you are both in a bar, the chances are likely that you both could have drinks in your hands when you meet someone. What's best when you meet someone, whether you have food or drink, is to put the item down and shake hands while making eye contact. This is why it's never good to be carrying both food and drink. Then you have no hands free for shaking.

Don't beat yourself up about this, but do remain mindful to maintain your composure, especially if you are at a bar or other venue where people are drinking. Alcohol has a way of creeping up on people. What you want to avoid is demonstrating behavior that does not reflect you in the way you wish to be seen. That is far more important than whether you have a drink in your hand or not.

As far as meeting executives (or anyone, for that matter), be pleasant and speak clearly. Be sure to say one thing about yourself that you think might interest the person. And be sure to ask something of the person so you have a tidbit that you can remember in the future. If you meet someone with whom you would like to stay in touch, follow up with an email or call, and insert in your communication that tidbit that will spark the person's memory in a positive way about your initial meeting.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend just came back from Iraq. Last night, we got into a heated argument, and before I knew it, I found myself on the ground with a bruise on my neck and a sprained ankle. I never thought my boyfriend would hurt me. Meanwhile, my roommates freaked out, called the ambulance and after a long plea, I persuaded them not to call the cops. I know domestic violence is serious, but I never expected to be a victim to this foolery. I love my boyfriend. There's a first time for everything, and I know our hearts are in sync. I think his behavior has something to do with his deployment for six months. Where should we go to get help? -- Karen, Omaha, Neb.

DEAR KAREN: You are right to be concerned and also smart not to automatically walk away so fast. Many veterans experience post-traumatic stress disorder after being on the battlefield. One of the symptoms of this disorder is being prone to violent outbursts. The good news is that help exists for veterans who need to process what has happened in their lives and learn how to manage the variety of physical, emotional and spiritual challenges that they may face in the wake of their experiences. Talk to your boyfriend, and ask him to get help so that he can get better and you can save your relationship. Urge him to get support. To find help, visit the VA website at ptsd.va.gov.

If you have to put your foot down to get him to seek help, do so.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently relocated to the New York City area as a single, 32-year-old man with no kids or previous marriages. However, I eventually want to settle down. Lately, I've been entertaining this "young thang" -- 24 years old, to be exact -- and I have to admit she has me sprung. She's spunky and energetic, with a fresh perspective on life. She's family-oriented and believes in God, but she parties too much for my liking. Every time I ask her to spend time with me, she mentions going out to a bar or club when all I want to do is enjoy a flick at home with just her and me. Am I asking for too much? Should I continue this relationship knowing that she's not ready to settle down? -- Jordan, New York City

DEAR JORDAN: What do you want? You say that "eventually" you want to settle down, but your story sounds as if you are ready to settle now, or at least figure out if this woman is the one with whom you would like to settle. That's fine. But does she know that? If you want to take her off the dating market, you have to be ready to say so and present details on what you have in mind. Then she will have the proper information to be able to make an informed decision about her next steps.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)