DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently mortified by the condition of my friend's apartment. He is single and lives on his own. He has a pit bull that is out of control, but that's only part of the problem. He has dishes stacked, food containers open and sitting for days, and the kitchen is in disarray. There is trash in his bedroom -- literally trash! And his bathroom is unusable. His apartment looks like a dumpster. This is unhealthy! What should I say or do? He doesn't care. -- Rohit, Boston

DEAR ROHIT: Your friend has a serious problem that could be a sign of Attention Deficit Disorder. He could be a hoarder. He could be depressed. To help him, you are going to have to be brave to address your friend. Ask him directly what's going on in his life. Ask him why his home is in such bad condition. Clearly, something is wrong. He may not be aware of how bad his apartment looks, as hard as that is to imagine. Suggest that he hire someone to help clean up his place. Encourage him to get some help so that he can live in a healthy environment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is cheating on me. Whenever I ask him to go somewhere, he declines and spends time with "her." He leaves me in the bed alone in the middle of the night to be entertained. I know everyone is thinking just leave him, but "she" lives in my house. Her dimensions are 49 inches by 29.7 inches by 3.9 inches; she's hanging on the wall in the living room, with an attached Xbox 360. It's as if she calls my husband's name after work, in the middle of the night and on weekends. When we are supposed to be spending quality time with each other, she has taken it from me. The flat-screen TV and that damn video-game console were the worst gifts I've ever given. He's addicted, and I refuse to continue to be deprived of affection. How can I put an end to this awful habit? Does he need "real" help? -- Amber, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR AMBER: Electronics have long been a lure for people, and these products frequently do "steal" precious time from personal interaction with loved ones for those who are lured into a relationship with them. Believe it or not, I think the best way for you to get your husband's attention is to find a video game that might interest you, too. If you can figure out how to participate in his play, you may eventually be able to convince him to steal away and spend time doing something else with you.

Putting your foot down hasn't worked thus far, and it's doubtful that it will now. I'm sure you've heard the notion that you can catch more bees with honey. Pour on the honey, and see if you can draw him back to you. No need for therapy, by the way.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a blue-collar workingman, and I would like to expand my reading selection. I currently look at the sports section of the local newspapers. From time to time, I read magazines as well. Can you recommend some books that I might find interesting? -- Bill, Richmond, Virginia

DEAR BILL: Many people don't read these days, but it's wonderful that you have taken an interest in the subject. Reading can transport you to all kinds of experiences. Why not start simply? Read the whole newspaper each day rather than just the sports section. Go to the library and look through books in different sections that intrigue you. Because you like sports, consider a novel with a sports theme. What else interests you? Travel? Cars? Home improvement? Art? Money management? Look around and see what topics spark your interest.

If it feels daunting to choose something, ask a librarian for help. You can also look in the local newspaper for news on the latest book offerings to see what others are recommending.

Get a library card, and check out a couple of books that seem interesting. Set aside time to read each day when you are ready to relax. Many people find that reading before bed is a great way to ease into sleep.

If you become animated about a particular book, seek out other readers who share your passion. This may require you to add other friends to your social sphere.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I share a cubicle with someone who has bad breath. Every time I offer my co-worker a stick of gum, she politely declines. I don't know what to say to her without being rude. Do you have any suggestions? -- Jamal, Bronx, New York

DEAR JAMAL: I can't tell you how often I receive some version of this question. It has come with such frequency that I have done quite a bit of research on mouth odor, and I have discovered that bad breath can actually serve as a health warning. Mouth odor, especially chronic bad breath, can be a sign of illness, anything from gum disease to intestinal problems. Of course, it can also mean that the person doesn't practice good dental hygiene or that the person has eaten strong-smelling food in the past 24 hours.

How do you address this? Whatever the reason, it will be awkward to approach her. Still, I recommend that if her breath offends you, speak up out of respect for her. Privately tell her that you've noticed that sometimes she has sour breath and you thought she would want to know, because it may be a sign of illness. She will likely bristle, but if you state it plainly, she will hear you.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am torn. I have recently applied for a position that could be a dream job. Then I learned of another opportunity that could be awesome, too. I expect to hear from the first place soon, and I am not sure what I should do. If offered the first job, I figure I should take it. It represents job security and is a kind of big deal. But the other job is creative and more up my alley. I long for a creative environment, but I have financial responsibilities and don't know if it's wise to pass up a big job. Never mind that I haven't been offered anything yet. I'm trying to figure out my next steps. What do you think? -- Nell, Tacoma, Washington

DEAR NELL: It's time for you to be still. You should meditate on your options so you can listen to the still voice inside that can guide you to the right decision. I received advice years ago about a decision similar to yours -- a choice between two work opportunities -- and I was told that whenever you have a choice to make, choose that which will bring you closer to God. When neither is more immediately leading you there, do the practical thing. I have contemplated that wisdom many times over the years. I recommend that you do this now. Then you will be ready to respond to whatever offer is presented to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a money manager at a seminar recently. The woman was kind, and she made me feel comfortable about discussing money. I know that she's looking for clients who have lots of money to invest, which I do not. But you have to start somewhere, right? I feel that I want to talk to her about investing what little I have, but I don't want to be embarrassed when she learns that I only have a small amount of money. How should I approach her? -- Jenny, Salt Lake City

DEAR JENNY: Stepping into the investment waters can seem daunting, especially when it's new to you. Trust me, it doesn't matter that you have a small amount to invest. If you are serious about learning how to save and invest your money, someone will be interested in helping you. Since you liked this woman, give her a call. Ask her if you can set up a meeting to discuss investments, and let her know straightaway that you have limited resources. Tell her that you are interested in learning more and in cultivating a long-term relationship with an investment adviser who will help grow your money over time. If the money manager is interested, have the meeting. If not, go to your bank and see if a bank investment officer can get you started.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)