DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going to a new hairdresser that is a lot more affordable than where I used to go. The people at this new place are so nice, but they don't do hair nearly as well as my old salon. I changed because my husband asked me to cut back on our expenses. This seemed like a natural place to cut. But when it comes to cutting -- no pun intended -- they really miss the mark. I have curly hair, and my last haircut ended up being seriously uneven when I washed it at home and blew it out straight. I don't know what to do. Like my mother used to say, you get what you pay for. But I really need a better cut. This is awkward. What should I do? -- Bad Hair Salon, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR BAD HAIR SALON: Start by contacting your salon and complaining about your haircut. Schedule an appointment for a free consultation where you show them your uneven cut, and ask for them to fix it. Based on the redo, you can decide if this salon has the ability to do an adequate job or if you have to move on. Be clear with them where you find their services challenging for you so that you give them clear guidelines on how to improve.

Know that there is more than one affordable salon in your town that should be able to service you. Get recommendations from people who have similar hair texture, and get a consultation at several prospective salons before you make a final choice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Southern guy with pretty conservative values. I am also a frat boy, not in a bad way, more in the sense that girls like me and I have had my share of dates, let's say. My issue is that while I have had a number of sexual partners, I do not want to get serious with a woman who has been promiscuous. Call me old-fashioned, call me whatever you want, but I don't want a woman who has had a lot of partners being my girl. How can I make sure that doesn't happen? -- Principled, Atlanta

DEAR PRINCIPLED: This is what hypocrisy tastes like. Sorry, but you are asking to live a double standard -- proudly -- as you search for an untainted virgin, or as close to her as you can get.

It's perfectly normal to not want to have a partner who has been wildly promiscuous. This is true on both sides of the gender line, by the way. But it is unfair and biased to think that there's nothing wrong with you playing the field while your partner-to-be should have little or no experience at all. Practically speaking, the only way you are likely to find a nearly virginal partner is to select someone very young. If you find such a woman whom you truly love, devote yourself to her fully.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: New York City is a very busy city. The other day, I had to travel to work using the subway -- which I rarely do -- and I had a crazy interaction. The weather was freezing cold and it had been snowing for days, but this day it stopped and the snow began to freeze on the ground. Walking to the train station for work, everyone was walking slower than usual to avoid slipping -- which is understandable. As I approached the subway, a lady, who was approximately 60 years old, began walking slowly in front of me, I'm assuming because of the icy ground. That was fine with me, but I was in a rush, so I went to walk around her; she shifted in front of me. She began to do this continually for more than five minutes, and I got annoyed. I got the feeling she was doing this on purpose, and I had the notion to trip her up for getting in front of me. Am I wrong for even thinking this? -- Impatient, New York City

DEAR IMPATIENT: Ever heard of the winter blues? Sounds like you've got a heavy dose of them right now! Living in the extreme cold of winter can be tough for people. Being out in the elements and being forced to move slowly can prove frustrating even when you are alone, worse when someone in front of you is slowing you down.

You already know that thinking hurtful thoughts about people is unkind. Thank goodness it was only thoughts that you had. What could you have done differently? Imagine if you stepped up next to this woman who is older than you and offered her your arm so that she would feel more secure while walking? Instead of frustration, you might have begun to feel compassion. Next time you sense extreme emotion welling up in you, invite compassion to take its place. It works!

DEAR HARRIETTE: When times are hard, I try to think positive and stay strong. I've been incarcerated for one year with one more year left on my sentence. I can't go into detail about my circumstances; however, I will note that I previously worked in the banking industry and that I have never been abusive, stolen, murdered anyone or done anything like these extreme cases. I am married, and I have one beautiful daughter who means the world to me. Since I have been in prison, my wife's visits have begun to decrease and the responses to my letters have been on the decline. I am beginning to believe that my wife might be cheating on me. I understand it's definitely not easy for her to be alone, but I just don't know what to think at this point. What do you think? -- Almost Home, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR ALMOST HOME: With a year left before you return home, you need to stay positive. Do your best not to worry about that which you cannot control. Instead, focus on what you will do when you are released. How will you earn a living? Figure that out.

As far as your family goes, continue to write to your wife. Describe your plans for the future and ask her if she is willing to re-establish your family when you get out. Ask her not to give up on you.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently been let go from my job's two-year training program, and it was totally unexpected. I had put in a lot of time, hard work and effort into that position, and I always felt like I had been undervalued. After graduating college, I realized the career path I had chosen was good for me, but the company and position made me miserable. I was working long hours, and I was not passionate about the work. I am trying to look at this as a blessing that I realized in my early 20s rather than my later years. On another note, even though I got fired, I have saved up enough funds to cover rent for a couple of months. Since I will be able to take care of rent, is it necessary that I tell my roommate that I got fired? -- Poised for Next, Silver Spring, Maryland

DEAR POISED FOR NEXT: Blessings do come in unusual packages. You should be grateful that you figured out what you don't want to do early in your career and that you have money saved to support yourself as you look for a job.

For integrity's sake, you should tell your roommate of your status and your intentions for getting a job. Lay out your reality clearly, so that you both know when you have to be employed before your ability to pay rent could be an issue. If you get near that point, discuss adding a roommate or moving out. Honesty really does work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I have been committed to one guy for nearly three years; however, we have not been in an official relationship. I'm a junior in college, and I no longer want to continue our relationship without the title, even though everyone knows that we are involved. Not having an official title allows him to mess with another girl, and I don't want that. For the past two years, he hasn't been able to take me out for Valentine's Day for reasons beyond his control, but I really want it to happen this year. I've expressed my concerns and feelings to him, so I hope it happens. If he doesn't make us official or spend time with me for Valentine's Day, should I end things? -- Make a Decision, Chicago

DEAR MAKE A DECISION: I hope that you will not make a decision about the end of your relationship based on whether you had a date on Valentine's Day. That really isn't your issue.

You want to be in a committed relationship, and your boyfriend has not demonstrated that same desire. What day you go out to celebrate is far less important than the status of your bond. If you want more, you have to put your foot down and require it -- or move on. Since you already are in a relationship with a man who has chosen not to be exclusive and you have accepted that for two years, it may be hard to get him to change his ways at this point. You have to change -- and that probably means changing who you date.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)