DEAR HARRIETTE: An elderly couple lives next door to me in an apartment in a gated community. I have become very fond of this couple over the years -- we are all animal lovers. I recently learned that the couple has three more dogs than the three I see them walking. The three other dogs remain in the unit. This means there are six dogs living in a small one-bedroom apartment. The association allows only two pets to a unit. They walk the three dogs

I knew about behind their unit so not too many people see them.

The realization that this couple has three other dogs that never see the light of day indicated to me they are hoarders. I have never been in their home in the eight years I have lived next door to them. I am very concerned for them as their health is not good, but also for the welfare of their dogs. I do have to admit the dogs seem to be well cared for and in good health. If I were to report them, I know our friendship would be over. I have hinted my concerns to them. They are pretty reclusive and in denial that anything is wrong. Please advise. -- Dog Lover, Salt Lake City

DEAR DOG LOVER: This is tricky. As you know, many people bend the rules of their condo association, often to no one's detriment. It sounds like you are certain of three dogs that are well kept. Even though the additional dog you've seen is against the association policy, you see that all dogs seem healthy.

You also say that you are aware of three more dogs. If you have not seen them, how can you verify that? I do not believe that you should tell the association about your suspicions. You could be completely wrong.

Instead, as a caring neighbor, continue to talk to the couple. If you can offer any support to them -- especially given their fragile health -- by all means do so. Otherwise, you really have nothing to report.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've recently been contracted to a production company for its upcoming all-star weekend events. My team consists of colleagues tasked with different job duties all with equal authority, and I genuinely like working with them. Thus far, we have been able to get a lot accomplished; however, we do have an account guy and a production girl always having heated arguments over who made mistakes. I understand everyone doesn't have to get along on a team, but they could at least attempt to act civil with each other. I understand their passion to keep the client happy and figure out where things went wrong, but I think the way they communicate could be more effective. Do you think I should talk to them individually, or should I just leave these things as they are? -- End the Feud, New York City

DEAR END THE FEUD: Unless you are in a position of authority, it is unlikely that you will even be heard if you go to these people asking them to stop fussing. If they get loud around you, you could ask them to keep it down because it's hard to work in the midst of their noise. Otherwise, ignore them and get your work done.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was talking with some friends the other day about the "good old days" and remembered a time in my early 20s when I was incredibly rude to a woman I worked with. I can't even believe how selfish I was back then. I am embarrassed to admit that I basically left her at a time when she really needed my help because I had something else to do. Now, as a mature woman, I have recalled this whole scenario and I am unsure as to what to do about it. I haven't been in touch with this woman for years. Nothing bad happened. We just went our separate ways. I'm wondering if I should look her up so that I can apologize for being so selfish back in the day. Should I pull the scab off of what may not even have been an old wound? As I recall, she and I stayed friends until she moved away. What should I do? -- Looking Back, Atlanta

DEAR LOOKING BACK: Given that your recollection tells you that you and this woman did not part on bad terms even though you behaved selfishly at least on that occasion, I do not recommend finding her and bringing that up. Let sleeping dogs lie, as the saying goes. Since you thought of this woman, however, you may want to find her just to reach out and see how she is doing. A friendly call from the past could be a lovely gesture on your part. Rather than dredging up old ills, create a new bond with her. Bring your more thoughtful, welcoming self and go for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company just moved to temporary headquarters -- a loft that is pretty run-down. I know we don't have to stay there long, but it's a mess right now. The worst of it is that there is one bathroom for nine people to use -- male and female. I have gone in that bathroom a few times, and it has poor ventilation. What's worse is that the bathroom often has a seriously foul smell, especially after some of the women come out of it. I am going mad. What can I do to live through this? -- About to Puke, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ABOUT TO PUKE: I'm sorry that you are living in what sounds like a kind of office purgatory. Thank goodness it will be short-lived. As far as the bathroom goes, get an air freshener spray and put it in there for people to spray after they use the facilities. Lead by example and spray it whenever you are in there. Your company could also keep a candle burning on the sink, as long as it is housed in a safe container. If the window opens at all, suggest that it stay cracked so that some ventilation will be available.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Just some months ago, I moved into my apartment building on the fourth floor. Recently settling in, I have installed my surround sound speakers for my living room. I've watched movies and played music at different levels to test what is appropriate. My next-door neighbors haven't complained, but the couple below my apartment has complained about the lowest volume level. It has become harassing. I have repeatedly adjusted the volume and subwoofer level because I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable in his or her own home. Some possibly important factors: My roommate and I are African-American, the people living below are a homosexual Caucasian couple and they're about 20 years older than us. They have banged on my door with a rude tone while I have had company over, and it's embarrassing. I'm thinking I should call the cops for harassment the next time they come to my door. What do you think? -- Too Loud, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR TOO LOUD: As conscientious as you are trying to be, know that sound travels fast, particularly bass sounds. One way to muffle sound is by putting rugs on your floor. They will help to absorb the sound. This is a wise choice for someone who enjoys playing music in an apartment building.

Regarding the potential racism or ageism to which you have alluded, I recommend that you not allow yourself to be overcome by those thoughts. You and your roommate should stay focused on being calm and clear.

If they continue to bang on your door and behave rudely, speak to the super first and ask for help to dispel the drama. If it continues, call the police in the moment that it's happening. They will need proof of the offense in order for it to make a difference.

What some people do when they are having parties is to alert their neighbors in advance so that they are aware that there may be a number of people and extra noise. You could try that as well. Also, as a rule, turn the music down or off on weeknights after 11 p.m.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister was doing really well losing weight last year, but it seems she has stopped trying. I was so proud of her and want to motivate her to start up her routine again. How can I address this without hurting her feelings or making her feel uncomfortable? -- Sister Motivator, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR SISTER MOTIVATOR: One of the best ways to reignite someone's interest in fitness is by engaging in fitness activities yourself. If you aren't already physically active, start a routine and tell your sister. Point out that she inspired you last year when she was all-in with her fitness activities. Invite her to join you this year so that you both can claim wellness.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)