DEAR HARRIETTE: I was talking with some friends the other day about the "good old days" and remembered a time in my early 20s when I was incredibly rude to a woman I worked with. I can't even believe how selfish I was back then. I am embarrassed to admit that I basically left her at a time when she really needed my help because I had something else to do. Now, as a mature woman, I have recalled this whole scenario and I am unsure as to what to do about it. I haven't been in touch with this woman for years. Nothing bad happened. We just went our separate ways. I'm wondering if I should look her up so that I can apologize for being so selfish back in the day. Should I pull the scab off of what may not even have been an old wound? As I recall, she and I stayed friends until she moved away. What should I do? -- Looking Back, Atlanta

DEAR LOOKING BACK: Given that your recollection tells you that you and this woman did not part on bad terms even though you behaved selfishly at least on that occasion, I do not recommend finding her and bringing that up. Let sleeping dogs lie, as the saying goes. Since you thought of this woman, however, you may want to find her just to reach out and see how she is doing. A friendly call from the past could be a lovely gesture on your part. Rather than dredging up old ills, create a new bond with her. Bring your more thoughtful, welcoming self and go for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company just moved to temporary headquarters -- a loft that is pretty run-down. I know we don't have to stay there long, but it's a mess right now. The worst of it is that there is one bathroom for nine people to use -- male and female. I have gone in that bathroom a few times, and it has poor ventilation. What's worse is that the bathroom often has a seriously foul smell, especially after some of the women come out of it. I am going mad. What can I do to live through this? -- About to Puke, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ABOUT TO PUKE: I'm sorry that you are living in what sounds like a kind of office purgatory. Thank goodness it will be short-lived. As far as the bathroom goes, get an air freshener spray and put it in there for people to spray after they use the facilities. Lead by example and spray it whenever you are in there. Your company could also keep a candle burning on the sink, as long as it is housed in a safe container. If the window opens at all, suggest that it stay cracked so that some ventilation will be available.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Just some months ago, I moved into my apartment building on the fourth floor. Recently settling in, I have installed my surround sound speakers for my living room. I've watched movies and played music at different levels to test what is appropriate. My next-door neighbors haven't complained, but the couple below my apartment has complained about the lowest volume level. It has become harassing. I have repeatedly adjusted the volume and subwoofer level because I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable in his or her own home. Some possibly important factors: My roommate and I are African-American, the people living below are a homosexual Caucasian couple and they're about 20 years older than us. They have banged on my door with a rude tone while I have had company over, and it's embarrassing. I'm thinking I should call the cops for harassment the next time they come to my door. What do you think? -- Too Loud, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR TOO LOUD: As conscientious as you are trying to be, know that sound travels fast, particularly bass sounds. One way to muffle sound is by putting rugs on your floor. They will help to absorb the sound. This is a wise choice for someone who enjoys playing music in an apartment building.

Regarding the potential racism or ageism to which you have alluded, I recommend that you not allow yourself to be overcome by those thoughts. You and your roommate should stay focused on being calm and clear.

If they continue to bang on your door and behave rudely, speak to the super first and ask for help to dispel the drama. If it continues, call the police in the moment that it's happening. They will need proof of the offense in order for it to make a difference.

What some people do when they are having parties is to alert their neighbors in advance so that they are aware that there may be a number of people and extra noise. You could try that as well. Also, as a rule, turn the music down or off on weeknights after 11 p.m.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister was doing really well losing weight last year, but it seems she has stopped trying. I was so proud of her and want to motivate her to start up her routine again. How can I address this without hurting her feelings or making her feel uncomfortable? -- Sister Motivator, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR SISTER MOTIVATOR: One of the best ways to reignite someone's interest in fitness is by engaging in fitness activities yourself. If you aren't already physically active, start a routine and tell your sister. Point out that she inspired you last year when she was all-in with her fitness activities. Invite her to join you this year so that you both can claim wellness.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: About three months ago, I met this nice young woman, and I've been spending quite some time with her recently. My generation of millennials operates much differently than our parents did at our age. I can't say that we've been technically dating, but we are involved with each other as more than friends. We both agreed that we wouldn't pressure the other for a relationship or anything more, but I've been on this earth long enough to know women don't always mean what they say.

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and I am contemplating if I am supposed to plan anything. I'm confused for multiple reasons: She is a good girl, funds are tight at this time and I know both of us aren't ready for a relationship because we are focused on our careers. Should I still plan something? If so, what are some affordable options? -- The Right Thing, Washington, D.C.

DEAR THE RIGHT THING: While you may not be in a committed relationship with your friend as of yet, it sounds like you two care about each other and choose to spend time together. For this reason, I definitely would acknowledge Valentine's Day. This doesn't mean you need to take her to an expensive dinner or buy a gift. It does mean that you should do something.

What can that be for someone who's on a budget and not even close to popping the question? Start the day by calling her and wishing her a happy Valentine's Day. This will make her smile. You can buy her a card that you personalize, and maybe take her out for a drink in the evening. More affordable, you can buy a bottle of wine and share it at home. If the weather is mild, invite her on a romantic walk in the city. Visit a museum -- many of which are free in your town. Think of what she may like to do that can be fun, light-hearted and potentially free. This will show her that you like her and appreciate the time you spend together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to take a trip out of the country for my job, and I'm super excited about going. All of the other people who will be taking this trip have been traveling globally for years. I think I am the only one who is a newbie traveler. I am embarrassed that I don't know the first thing about what I need to do to prepare for this trip. I'm not sure who to talk to in order to get up to speed without looking ignorant. What do you recommend? -- About to Fly, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR ABOUT TO FLY: Start by doing independent research. Go to the website for the embassy of the country you are visiting and read about the requirements for entry. Obviously you will need a passport. Check to see if you need a visa and/or immunizations. Check the weather. Look for any information about local customs, dress codes and cuisine.

Next, go to your boss to learn what else you might need to know to be prepared for this trip. Your boss will want you to be successful and should be happy to support you as you get ready to go.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)