DEAR HARRIETTE: Just some months ago, I moved into my apartment building on the fourth floor. Recently settling in, I have installed my surround sound speakers for my living room. I've watched movies and played music at different levels to test what is appropriate. My next-door neighbors haven't complained, but the couple below my apartment has complained about the lowest volume level. It has become harassing. I have repeatedly adjusted the volume and subwoofer level because I wouldn't want anyone to be uncomfortable in his or her own home. Some possibly important factors: My roommate and I are African-American, the people living below are a homosexual Caucasian couple and they're about 20 years older than us. They have banged on my door with a rude tone while I have had company over, and it's embarrassing. I'm thinking I should call the cops for harassment the next time they come to my door. What do you think? -- Too Loud, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR TOO LOUD: As conscientious as you are trying to be, know that sound travels fast, particularly bass sounds. One way to muffle sound is by putting rugs on your floor. They will help to absorb the sound. This is a wise choice for someone who enjoys playing music in an apartment building.

Regarding the potential racism or ageism to which you have alluded, I recommend that you not allow yourself to be overcome by those thoughts. You and your roommate should stay focused on being calm and clear.

If they continue to bang on your door and behave rudely, speak to the super first and ask for help to dispel the drama. If it continues, call the police in the moment that it's happening. They will need proof of the offense in order for it to make a difference.

What some people do when they are having parties is to alert their neighbors in advance so that they are aware that there may be a number of people and extra noise. You could try that as well. Also, as a rule, turn the music down or off on weeknights after 11 p.m.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister was doing really well losing weight last year, but it seems she has stopped trying. I was so proud of her and want to motivate her to start up her routine again. How can I address this without hurting her feelings or making her feel uncomfortable? -- Sister Motivator, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR SISTER MOTIVATOR: One of the best ways to reignite someone's interest in fitness is by engaging in fitness activities yourself. If you aren't already physically active, start a routine and tell your sister. Point out that she inspired you last year when she was all-in with her fitness activities. Invite her to join you this year so that you both can claim wellness.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: About three months ago, I met this nice young woman, and I've been spending quite some time with her recently. My generation of millennials operates much differently than our parents did at our age. I can't say that we've been technically dating, but we are involved with each other as more than friends. We both agreed that we wouldn't pressure the other for a relationship or anything more, but I've been on this earth long enough to know women don't always mean what they say.

Valentine's Day is fast approaching, and I am contemplating if I am supposed to plan anything. I'm confused for multiple reasons: She is a good girl, funds are tight at this time and I know both of us aren't ready for a relationship because we are focused on our careers. Should I still plan something? If so, what are some affordable options? -- The Right Thing, Washington, D.C.

DEAR THE RIGHT THING: While you may not be in a committed relationship with your friend as of yet, it sounds like you two care about each other and choose to spend time together. For this reason, I definitely would acknowledge Valentine's Day. This doesn't mean you need to take her to an expensive dinner or buy a gift. It does mean that you should do something.

What can that be for someone who's on a budget and not even close to popping the question? Start the day by calling her and wishing her a happy Valentine's Day. This will make her smile. You can buy her a card that you personalize, and maybe take her out for a drink in the evening. More affordable, you can buy a bottle of wine and share it at home. If the weather is mild, invite her on a romantic walk in the city. Visit a museum -- many of which are free in your town. Think of what she may like to do that can be fun, light-hearted and potentially free. This will show her that you like her and appreciate the time you spend together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to take a trip out of the country for my job, and I'm super excited about going. All of the other people who will be taking this trip have been traveling globally for years. I think I am the only one who is a newbie traveler. I am embarrassed that I don't know the first thing about what I need to do to prepare for this trip. I'm not sure who to talk to in order to get up to speed without looking ignorant. What do you recommend? -- About to Fly, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR ABOUT TO FLY: Start by doing independent research. Go to the website for the embassy of the country you are visiting and read about the requirements for entry. Obviously you will need a passport. Check to see if you need a visa and/or immunizations. Check the weather. Look for any information about local customs, dress codes and cuisine.

Next, go to your boss to learn what else you might need to know to be prepared for this trip. Your boss will want you to be successful and should be happy to support you as you get ready to go.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been running my department at my job for the past five years. At the beginning of this year, a woman who used to work for me was promoted and now shares equal status with me. I used to oversee all of the accounts; now she oversees a few of them directly. When I learned of this arrangement, I was shocked, but I have worked hard to ensure that we get along in these new roles. She, on the other hand, has not been conciliatory at all. I find her to behave suspiciously and not to be a team player anymore. I get that she now has more power than she had, but we still have to work together. I have made many overtures, but I feel like it's a lost cause. Her negativity is affecting the team's morale. What can I do to help our working relationship? -- Need a Strategy, Boston

DEAR NEED A STRATEGY: Your colleague may need some time to find her sea legs in this new job. Since she once reported to you, she probably feels reluctant to come to you for advice or support just yet. Rather than more emphatically attempting to reach out to her, give her a wider berth. Do your job. Make sure your team members feel confident about their responsibilities. And take care of yourself. You could be smarting a bit from what might seem like a slight in your direction considering that this woman was promoted. Slow down. Observe. Guide your team. Give your colleague and yourself a chance to find your footing in your new relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbors just got a puppy, and my children are beside themselves with joy. They want a dog so badly, but it is not going to happen. For one, I am a single mom and do not have time to take care of a dog. No matter what my kids say, it will end up being my responsibility. We live in an apartment building, so it's not like I can just put the dog outside to go to the bathroom. He would have to be walked. More than that, though, I am highly allergic. I am even allergic to the ones who are supposed to be hypoallergenic. Because my children love dogs, I allow them to go next door to play with this new puppy, as long as they thoroughly wash their hands when they come home. Sometimes I also have to get them to change their clothes if they are covered in dog hair. That's all I can do. How can I get them to understand? -- Puppy-Free, Chicago

DEAR PUPPY-FREE: Remain firm and compassionate with your children. Acknowledge their love of dogs and express your sorrow that you cannot welcome a dog into your home. Reiterate the specific reasons why you cannot accommodate their desires. Start with your health concerns, as they are absolute. The additional piece is logistical. Be as liberal as you can about allowing them to visit with the pup next door. Be sure to check in with the owners to make sure that your children do not overstay their welcome.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)