DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 23 years old, and I recently moved to the Big Apple with my best friend after college. We've been friends since sophomore year, and we've cultivated a strong relationship -- our families are even close. We both had such busy work schedules at first that we didn't date anyone. After transitioning to New York, the waters have calmed a bit, and my roommate has managed to begin dating now. I had not met the guy yet, but I was happy to see that she was happy. One day, she finally brought him over to the house, but to my surprise, I knew him from college. I met him freshman year, and we once had sexual relations. I don't want to tell her because the situation really meant nothing, but I also don't want her getting attached without me saying something. What should I do? -- Remembering the Past, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR REMEMBERING THE PAST: It is great that you and your college friend have moved together and started your professional life together. It is comforting to launch your lives as adults with friends. Because you two have a shared background -- your college -- you naturally would have shared friends. In this case, unless you had a real relationship with this man, let that experience remain in the past. You may not be proud about your past experience with this person, but if it was truly incidental and is completely over, it should have no relevance now. Of course, you can tell her that you know him, but leave it at that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: As a recent graduate now working full time, I want to make sure I'm currently taking advantage of all career opportunities. Being new to an industry can be exciting and also tough because in big companies, you could be the first to be fired in a tough economy. On the other hand, you also serve as the fuel to encourage new energy in a company. I work as an entry-level investment banker, and I would like to begin seeking industry advice from experienced colleagues. I understand that most conversations like this happen off the clock during lunch meetings, but I lack the funds to actually cover these activities on a starting salary. Do you have any recommendations for seeking industry guidance from colleagues while remaining frugal? -- Making Connections, New York City

DEAR MAKING CONNECTIONS: At this stage in your career, the best strategy may be to attend industry events where business leaders may be present, and make a beeline over to speak to them. You can also keep your eyes open at work as you are walking through the halls, waiting at the elevator, or in the cafeteria. If you see an executive, go over and introduce yourself and say that you are new in the industry and would love to learn from that person. Ask if you could set up an informational interview at some point. Get the person's contact information and follow up immediately. You may get a meeting in someone's office that won't cost you anything.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother asked me to go into business with him on an idea he has had for a long time. I love my brother so much and want to support him, but I don't really think his idea is sound. He has shown me the numbers on how much it will cost to build it out and when it is expected to be profitable. Honestly, they don't seem realistic. I am not a businessman, but my gut says this not a good idea for me to be part of. I have limited resources, and I can't afford to lose five figures in order to support my brother. He is so mad that I am probably not going to do it. When I told him, he stormed off. What can I do to help him understand that I support him, but I cannot be his partner at this time? -- Brother Biz, Chicago

DEAR BROTHER BIZ: One way you may be able to help your brother is to get someone with financial know-how to review the business plan that he has put forth. Get a professional to give input on how viable this project seems, and share that with your brother. If it seems sound, tell him -- even if you choose not to be part of it anyhow. If it seems unstable, make sure you let him know that as well.

Remind your brother that you love and respect him and that this doesn't change based upon your going into business with him -- at least not for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter likes to sing in the mornings, which I find to be really sweet. She is 12 years old, and as she is growing up, she remains a nice girl. Contrast her with my son, who is grumpy in the morning and who hates that his sister likes to sing. My 14-year-old young man wants everything to be quiet in the morning as he begrudgingly gets up and gets ready for school. I want to honor both of my children, but it seems impossible. How can I let each of them have personal space and somehow spark joy in them at the same time? -- Happy Vs. Grumpy, Denver

DEAR HAPPY VS. GRUMPY: Some people like quiet in the morning, while others enjoy sound. Your children are on opposite sides of this spectrum. Why not negotiate with them to swap out the noise factor on a daily basis? When it's your daughter's day, suggest that she sing with the bathroom door closed so that the sound doesn't travel as far. When it's your son's day, request that your daughter refrain from singing. Because children can be so literal, reinforce the rules by fully allowing each child his or her agreement -- provided they remain respectful to each other and the family.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who is a constant thorn in my side. I give her assignments, and she routinely has some kind of delay that causes a lot of undue stress on the whole team. I have observed her over time, and I believe that her problem is time management. I think she honestly believes that she will be able to complete tasks in a timely manner, only to see on the back end that she actually needed many more hours than she budgeted. I have talked to her about this, but so far it seems to have gone in one ear and out the other. How can I help her to manage her time better without being a micromanager? -- Striking a Balance, Washington, D.C.

DEAR STRIKING A BALANCE: Review the scope of work that your troubled employee is responsible for handling. Look for ways to break out the responsibilities into manageable chunks. Talk through each duty; go into detail about the steps needed to execute it and how much time you believe it should take to complete each one. Then give her concrete deadlines for each rung of responsibility. Be sure to build in cushion time on the back end so that she can still be on time. Work closely with this employee as you support her in establishing a rhythm for successful completing her job. While this could seem like micromanagement, a way to avoid that experience is to make an agreement with your employee that you will work together for a limited period of time, until she feels comfortable. Then you will back off.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the youngest sibling of my father's three kids, and I pride myself on being a family man. While away during college, my oldest brother and his lovely wife birthed two kids, making me an uncle. I am new to this role, and I thought it would be easier than it has turned out to be. This may not seem like a big deal, but it hasn't been easy and it's important to me because my uncle was very influential in my upbringing. I'm the first in my family to go out of state for college, and now I'm afraid my niece and nephew won't remember me when they get older. I only see the kids when my brother FaceTimes me, and it might not be helpful that I'm not as available to talk to them as I should be. I'm managing school, extracurricular activities and also trying to live my life. I think I can take some blame, but I don't think it's necessarily my fault. Should I express these concerns with my brother for better solutions or just continue to do the best that I can? -- New Uncle, Detroit

DEAR NEW UNCLE: You already know that new technology can be your friend in your pursuit of constant contact with your niece and nephew. What you must add to the technology is a plan between you and your brother. Choose a time each week to talk to your family. It may be early Saturday morning or one day after work before you go off to do extracurricular activities. You two need to set an intention and then do your best to stick to it. If you include your calls in your weekly schedule, marked by an alarm on your phone, you can develop the discipline of ongoing communication with them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)