DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who is a constant thorn in my side. I give her assignments, and she routinely has some kind of delay that causes a lot of undue stress on the whole team. I have observed her over time, and I believe that her problem is time management. I think she honestly believes that she will be able to complete tasks in a timely manner, only to see on the back end that she actually needed many more hours than she budgeted. I have talked to her about this, but so far it seems to have gone in one ear and out the other. How can I help her to manage her time better without being a micromanager? -- Striking a Balance, Washington, D.C.

DEAR STRIKING A BALANCE: Review the scope of work that your troubled employee is responsible for handling. Look for ways to break out the responsibilities into manageable chunks. Talk through each duty; go into detail about the steps needed to execute it and how much time you believe it should take to complete each one. Then give her concrete deadlines for each rung of responsibility. Be sure to build in cushion time on the back end so that she can still be on time. Work closely with this employee as you support her in establishing a rhythm for successful completing her job. While this could seem like micromanagement, a way to avoid that experience is to make an agreement with your employee that you will work together for a limited period of time, until she feels comfortable. Then you will back off.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the youngest sibling of my father's three kids, and I pride myself on being a family man. While away during college, my oldest brother and his lovely wife birthed two kids, making me an uncle. I am new to this role, and I thought it would be easier than it has turned out to be. This may not seem like a big deal, but it hasn't been easy and it's important to me because my uncle was very influential in my upbringing. I'm the first in my family to go out of state for college, and now I'm afraid my niece and nephew won't remember me when they get older. I only see the kids when my brother FaceTimes me, and it might not be helpful that I'm not as available to talk to them as I should be. I'm managing school, extracurricular activities and also trying to live my life. I think I can take some blame, but I don't think it's necessarily my fault. Should I express these concerns with my brother for better solutions or just continue to do the best that I can? -- New Uncle, Detroit

DEAR NEW UNCLE: You already know that new technology can be your friend in your pursuit of constant contact with your niece and nephew. What you must add to the technology is a plan between you and your brother. Choose a time each week to talk to your family. It may be early Saturday morning or one day after work before you go off to do extracurricular activities. You two need to set an intention and then do your best to stick to it. If you include your calls in your weekly schedule, marked by an alarm on your phone, you can develop the discipline of ongoing communication with them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a dinner party with a really cool group of people. Among the guests were several well-known actors. It was so interesting being at the event with them. I hadn't ever met celebrities before. They acted pretty regular, which was nice. While I had a great time, I wonder if I should keep it to myself. I don't want to seem like I'm bragging if I tell my friends. I did take pictures, but I decided not to post them on my social media accounts because we were at a private event. I really don't want to come off like a groupie. When is it OK to say who you were with at an event? -- Time for Discretion, San Francisco

DEAR TIME FOR DISCRETION: When you take pictures at private functions, you should ask if it's OK to post the images. Many people do not like such postings that show their homes and/or guests. Asking solves the mystery.

I believe in sharing information on a need-to-know basis. In terms of telling your friends or others about who you met, do so only if it's natural. Namedropping is unattractive, doesn't win you friends and makes for awkward conversation. Conversely, if you had an experience that would be inspiring and inclusive of others, that would be appropriate to share.

Otherwise, savor the moment when you are in it, and when you move on, be fully present in the next moment. This way you bring your full awareness to your experiences and put people at ease.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I caught a sexually transmitted disease from my boyfriend, and I am so mad. I suspected that he was being unfaithful, but every time I said something, he acted like I was crazy or something. He is my first boyfriend, and I'd never had sex before being with him. When I realized something was weird in my body, I went to the doctor and got this horrible news. I feel like I want to tell everybody we know, but then they would also know that I have this awful disease. I am so mad and feel so betrayed. I don't know what to do. Obviously, I am dealing with it with my doctor, but what do I do about my boyfriend? Even though he has been unfaithful to me, it is so hard to let go. -- Compromised, Denver

DEAR COMPROMISED: It is time for you to face facts. Your "boyfriend" has lied to you, been unfaithful to you and remains in denial about his behavior. That is enough information for you to be able to make the tough decision to walk away from him. If you need help, go to a counselor, get spiritual advice or rely on your friends and family when you feel weak. Block his phone number so that he cannot call you. Expunge him from your life and vigilantly avoid contact. Eventually, it will get easier.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a boutique owner, and I've sold women's luxury items for almost six years now. In a tough economy, my business has managed to remain successful and increase its number of shoppers. With 2015 here, I was looking to grow my business and hire my first store employee. I figured a new employee would introduce new energy around the workplace, and it did just that.

I decided to hire a close friend of mine who was going through financial trouble; I wanted to help in any way possible. She had lost her job because of the intense economy, and she needed some assistance. She's a great worker who brings in an amazing energy, but she just can't seem to get to work on time. The first couple of times were excusable, but now it's hindering my business. I've spoken to her before about this, and it fixed the problem only temporarily. I'm in a bind here, and I'm not sure of my next move. Do you think I should fire her for her lack of timeliness? -- Be on Time, Pasadena, California

DEAR BE ON TIME: Before giving up on your friend, get creative. If you believe that she is valuable to you and your company, give her different hours. Tell her that you realize that she has had difficulty being on time for work, so you have decided to change her schedule. Give her new hours that start a bit later than the original hours. Make it clear to her that she must follow the new schedule. Make sure she understands that if she cannot adhere to the new schedule, you may be forced to let her go.

If you haven't done this already, talk to her about her previous job. Find out what really happened related to her job loss. It may be that lateness is part of her M.O. If so, let her know she has a chance now to amend her behavior. Otherwise, she is out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a business meeting at a woman's home, and when I arrived, I was asked to remove my shoes. I was taken aback. I have never had anyone make that request before. I felt it was far too much to ask, even though we were at her house. I refused. She gave me a pass, but was clearly upset. Was I wrong? -- Shoe-Free, Middletown, New York

DEAR SHOE-FREE: Sorry, but you were wrong. When you go to someone's house, you must abide by that person's rules. It is also true that when one has atypical rules, it is wise for the person to advise people of them in advance so that the guests can feel at ease. I know one woman who has a no-shoes policy at her home, and she provides slippers at the front door for her guests to wear instead. You want to make your guests feel comfortable. But the bottom line is that your guests should be in line with your rules.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)