DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a boutique owner, and I've sold women's luxury items for almost six years now. In a tough economy, my business has managed to remain successful and increase its number of shoppers. With 2015 here, I was looking to grow my business and hire my first store employee. I figured a new employee would introduce new energy around the workplace, and it did just that.

I decided to hire a close friend of mine who was going through financial trouble; I wanted to help in any way possible. She had lost her job because of the intense economy, and she needed some assistance. She's a great worker who brings in an amazing energy, but she just can't seem to get to work on time. The first couple of times were excusable, but now it's hindering my business. I've spoken to her before about this, and it fixed the problem only temporarily. I'm in a bind here, and I'm not sure of my next move. Do you think I should fire her for her lack of timeliness? -- Be on Time, Pasadena, California

DEAR BE ON TIME: Before giving up on your friend, get creative. If you believe that she is valuable to you and your company, give her different hours. Tell her that you realize that she has had difficulty being on time for work, so you have decided to change her schedule. Give her new hours that start a bit later than the original hours. Make it clear to her that she must follow the new schedule. Make sure she understands that if she cannot adhere to the new schedule, you may be forced to let her go.

If you haven't done this already, talk to her about her previous job. Find out what really happened related to her job loss. It may be that lateness is part of her M.O. If so, let her know she has a chance now to amend her behavior. Otherwise, she is out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a business meeting at a woman's home, and when I arrived, I was asked to remove my shoes. I was taken aback. I have never had anyone make that request before. I felt it was far too much to ask, even though we were at her house. I refused. She gave me a pass, but was clearly upset. Was I wrong? -- Shoe-Free, Middletown, New York

DEAR SHOE-FREE: Sorry, but you were wrong. When you go to someone's house, you must abide by that person's rules. It is also true that when one has atypical rules, it is wise for the person to advise people of them in advance so that the guests can feel at ease. I know one woman who has a no-shoes policy at her home, and she provides slippers at the front door for her guests to wear instead. You want to make your guests feel comfortable. But the bottom line is that your guests should be in line with your rules.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor is going to the funeral of one of her family members, and it's out of town. She came to me the other day to ask if I would watch her cat while she is away. I am allergic to cats, so I told her no. But even if I were not allergic, I think that is a whole lot to ask. I know that there are kennels for animals when people have to go away. Why wouldn't she have just gone there? I have never played with her cat. I don't even go over her house because I know the cat will make me sneeze. Anyhow, now my neighbor is mad at me. She said I was being uncaring because I did not help her out in her time of need. I told her I would keep an eye out on her house, but that I just can't watch her cat. What else could I have done? She is my neighbor, and I would like to support her, but we aren't close at all. -- Which Way to Turn, Boston

DEAR WHICH WAY TO TURN: You were smart not to accept watching the cat when you are allergic. Without hearing you, I cannot attest as to how you let her know you couldn't do it, but tone is everything. You may have hurt her already-fragile feelings by summarily rejecting her need.

You may have tried to be more helpful, saying you cannot take the cat but suggesting others who might be able to do it or even recommending a kennel. Sometimes when people are grieving, they don't think straight. She may not have thought of the kennel.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was a freshman in college, a hometown friend who attended a neighboring university introduced me to her roommate. The girl was beautiful, she had an amazing personality and she was from my hometown. After meeting for the first time, we exchanged numbers and then developed a great relationship over the years. By my junior year of college, we began to go on dates and soon became romantically involved. Through conversation, I learned that she actually knew my cousin. He is my cousin through marriage, but we have a good relationship. Apparently they liked each other during middle or high school. This kind of confused me; however, it could have been premature kid love. To this day, she never explicitly stated if they ever had sexual relations, so I'm not sure. I don't know if her messing with my cousin is a reason not to date someone. Do you think I should stop pursuing her, or should I not worry about things that were before my time? -- Past or Present, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR PAST OR PRESENT: The only reason for you to be concerned about the relationship that this young lady had with your cousin is if your cousin is still interested in her. Since years have passed and he's now married to your cousin, it sounds as if the past is exactly there.

It is none of your business who your girlfriend's previous sexual partners have been. If you want to be in a relationship with her, stay in the present. If you want to make sure that you have your cousin's blessing, ask for that.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am very active on Facebook and recently started a lively conversation while watching a popular TV show. A lot of people joined in, and we were going back and forth with differing opinions and views. It was refreshing to see people going all out and expressing their thoughts.

Then I noticed that one person wrote a comment that was extremely derogatory toward me. It was personal. It didn't have anything to do with the topic we were discussing. Basically, he started badmouthing me in the worst possible way. I deleted his comment only to have him come back and write multiple bad postings on my page. I was horrified. I can't understand why a person would do something like that. I then went to his page to see who he is and if we have any mutual friends. While I do not know him, we do share friends.

I know that not everybody on Facebook is your actual friend, though, so I called up one of our mutual "friends" and asked about this person only to find that he didn't know him at all. I am so frustrated. What can I do now? I don't want him creeping around my page anymore. -- Dissed in Cyberspace, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DISSED IN CYBERSPACE: Sadly, people frequently use social media to express extreme opinions, especially when there is some sense of anonymity. You did the right thing by checking him out with your actual friend and also deleting his foul messages.

You can do one more thing: You can go into your settings and permanently block him from viewing your page or posting on it. At least in that incarnation of the cyber world, you can be rid of him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a new job. I am thrilled, but I'm also in a really tough situation. I have been working on my own for the past few years. I currently have two assistants who have worked with me with incredible loyalty. I cannot take both of them with me. If I'm lucky, I can take one. I feel really bad that I have to choose and that one person is likely to be out of work. How can I handle this to reduce hard feelings? -- Moving On, Dallas

DEAR MOVING ON: As emotional as this must seem for you right now, your job is to step back and be a careful observer. Evaluate each of your employees. Be clear about their strengths and challenges. Now think about your new job. What skills and attributes would an assistant need to have? Which one of these two people is a match, if either? Only hire someone who is well-suited for the role.

If you do choose one, let that person know and privately let the other employee know everyone's status. Do not try to keep the changes a secret. Instead, do your best to help the employee you will be releasing to find new employment. Full transparency is the way to go.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)