DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been asked to conduct a workshop to help introduce a senior citizen group to the Internet, and I am having a difficult time putting the program together because 60 percent of the group has never sat in front of a computer before. I am aware that I will receive some pushback from the group because they will have to confront their fears regarding technology. How can I make logging on the Internet a fun experience for this particular group of people? -- Bridging the Gap, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR BRIDGING THE GAP: Start by letting this group of people know something that they already know -- namely, that everything is hard when you don't know how to do it and easy once you figure it out. Promise them that once they learn a few simple steps, they will be able to walk into a whole new world that is exciting, fun and as close as the push of a button.

Compare the computer to a television set. It looks like nothing when it's turned off but comes to life in myriad ways once you turn it on and engage the remote. Continue to look for familiar examples that these seniors will understand as you walk them through how to use a computer. Gently work with them one-on-one to show them how to get online. Be patient. When they get it, they will be excited. It takes time and follow-up on your part so that if they forget how to do a step, you are there to remind them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a senior in high school in Missouri, and many of my classmates have decided which colleges they are planning to attend in the fall. I am frustrated because my family constantly asks me what my plans are when I graduate from high school. At the present time, I am not sure what I want to do regarding college; however, I do have a dream of opening a petite coffee shop in Philadelphia when I am older. I tell my friends about my dreams of being an entrepreneur, and they look at me as if I am crazy. They badger me with myriad questions about making a living with a coffee shop. This is my dream, and I need help figuring out my first step to make it come true. -- I Can Dream, St. Louis

DEAR I CAN DREAM: You are clear about your dream, but not about the steps to making it come true. Since you want to run a business, why not go to a college that teaches just that? Enroll in a college that has a strong business program.

While in school, get a job in the restaurant business. Find a coffee shop that you like and get a job there -- any job. Be a keen observer and learn each role. Figure out what it takes to run a coffee shop and make it profitable.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every year, a co-worker helps his daughter sell Girl Scout cookies, and it's hard to say no because the dad forces everyone to make a purchase. The cookies are amazing, but I would prefer to purchase them from a place of happiness as opposed to being forced to make a purchase. How can I make the experience more enjoyable the next time around because I believe in helping the organization? -- Cookie Peddler, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR COOKIE PEDDLER: One way to feel more at ease about this experience is to think about the big picture. Your co-worker is doing a great thing by helping his daughter in her sales effort. Not every parent joins in for these endeavors. Forgive him for not being a skilled salesperson. If you can look at him with compassion, it may help you to feel less irritated, especially since you actually do like the product.

To any parent out there who is attempting to help a child sell any goods to friends and co-workers as a fundraiser for an organization, charity or school, remember to be gracious. Do not be pushy. Instead, speak about the cause. Ask repeat contributors to give again, but do not push them. If you keep track of what your "customers" buy, you may also want to be specific when you ask again. "Did you like those shortbread cookies you bought last year? Would you be interested in buying more?" Then step back and allow the person to think about it. Graciousness often makes more sales.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fraternity brother, who is also my line brother, has recently gotten engaged to his girlfriend of more than six years. I am very happy for both of them, as they are wonderful for each other and have an amazing spiritual foundation. I haven't met the wife because we attended different universities, but I am excited for the wedding, which has been set for the summer. I am not only excited that my close friend is getting married, but I am elated because this is my first wedding as an adult. It would be negligent if I didn't mention that I am a recent college graduate and I currently reside in one of the most expensive states in the U.S. The wedding is out of state, which will require me to cover flight and hotel accommodations. With this in mind, what are some good gift ideas for the future husband and wife? -- My First Wedding, New York City

DEAR MY FIRST WEDDING: Congratulations to your friend who is getting married. As you make your way to your friend's wedding, create a budget that lets you know what resources you need in order to cover expenses. With a clear understanding of what you need and what you have, go to the couple's gift registry and look for something that fits within your modest budget. Usually, couples will select a broad range of items they need to start their life together, typically across a range of prices. Do not feel ashamed that you can afford only a small gift. The gift of your presence counts for a lot, too!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in an apartment building -- a high-rise, to be exact. I moved in a few years ago. For the most part, I like it. My one problem is my next-door neighbor. She works from home and lives alone. Like clockwork, when I come home from a long day at work, I can count on her knocking on my door a few minutes after I walk in. I like her and all, but when I come home, I want to relax and decompress. I am not sure of the etiquette in a situation like this. I don't want to be rude to my neighbor, but she needs to understand that I need my privacy, too. -- Where to Draw the Line, Detroit

DEAR WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE: You have the right not to answer the door when your neighbor rings the bell. If you don't let her in, you don't have to try to figure out how to get her to leave. You can also tell her that, as a matter of course, you need space when you come home, so you want her to respect you by not coming over right away without being invited.

That may seem harsh, but in order to get her to change her behavior, you have to identify, articulate and enforce boundaries on her visits. Because you have consistently allowed her to visit with you at her leisure, she probably has no idea that it is annoying to you. Let her know what you need at the end of your day, and ask her to honor that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read with interest your response to the man who was heartbroken by the death of his mentor. You missed an obvious response: He could become a mentor. What better way to honor his mentor than to pass on what he shared? The man could share the story of his mentor with those he mentors, continuing his legacy and perhaps inspiring the next generation of mentors. Or maybe he could establish a scholarship in his mentor's name for those who want to study his specialty. Mentors are priceless. -- Touched By Loss, Johnstown, Pennsylvania

DEAR TOUCHED BY LOSS: Great point! Mentoring is one of the most powerful gifts a person can offer to another. Bringing your expertise, wisdom and guidance to someone else who is looking to learn and grow can be rewarding for people on both sides.

Since the previous writer was mourning his mentor's loss, you are right that he could pay it forward by sharing the nuggets of wisdom that he learned from the mentor to all who cross his path. This helps to ensure that the cycle of giving continues indefinitely.

For others out there who may be wondering if they have the chops to become a mentor, do a self-assessment. What do you have to offer that would be of value to someone else? What knowledge, skill set or strategies do you have that would benefit someone you know? If you can pinpoint those answers, you will be poised when someone crosses your path who wants and needs your support.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)