DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do if you find yourself in the middle of political discussions and you really don't want to talk about it? These days I feel like it's always something. The debate about police brutality is endless and highly volatile. And then there's the never-ending Cosby debacle. And terrorism all over the world. I get that bad and crazy things are happening, but when I am on a date or with friends, I don't necessarily want to debate the issues. I don't even want to talk about who may run for president, at least not all the time. How can I get my friends to chill and just be together or even to be serious and talk about themselves rather than the failures of everybody else? -- Stop the Noise, Detroit

DEAR STOP THE NOISE: Information overload is a real experience that is on the rise in this information age. Being on the pulse of current events is wise, but, as you point out, it should not require you to talk about everything that's in the cable news 24-hour rotation.

How can you curb the commentary? State your case. When you are hanging out with your friends and the conversation turns to a topic that you are not interested in discussing, ask them if they would be willing to change the subject. You can actually create a profound talking point by stating that you are more interested in how they are navigating their lives than what their opinions are on celebrity gossip or world violence. That may work sometimes.

You can choose to get up and leave the group for a moment, either going to the restroom or just removing yourself from their company for a bit. Ultimately, though, know that there is something good about being in the company of people who are paying attention to what's going on in the world. Rather than being frustrated by the discussion, work to push it in an enlightened direction.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been talking with a potential business partner for many months now. Every time we get close to figuring out a deal we can develop, it gets a little sketchy. I honestly don't think he is trying to stiff me. I think he is unsure of what is going to stick. At this point, I need to know what our business relationship will be if something does happen. My problem is, I don't have any money. How can I get clarity when I don't have skin to put in the game? -- Looking for Clarity, Boston

DEAR LOOKING FOR CLARITY: Call a meeting with this person and put your cards on the table. Be clear about what you want related to the projects you have been discussing. Sometimes partners bring cash to deals; at other times they bring expertise and time. Tell him what you believe your assets are and the value of those assets. Ask your potential business partner what his intentions are, and make it clear that you want to establish a formal relationship before you move forward.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I invited a few people over to my house for a post-New Year's get-together. My guests were having a great time mingling while they danced the night away, but there was one gentleman who got on my nerves because he was constantly taking pictures of my possessions. I asked him if he would not take any pictures without my permission, but he continued. I got angry and asked him to leave my house. To my surprise, my guests became upset at me because I kicked a guest out of the party. I think I could have handled this situation better. What are your thoughts? -- Not a Good Host, New York City

DEAR NOT A GOOD HOST: This was clearly an awkward situation, and you were right to be concerned about someone photographing your possessions. More effective than asking him to leave your home would have been seizing his camera. If your concern truly is about where those photos might end up, your priority should have been to confiscate the camera or SD card holding the images. You could have done this privately so that other guests would not witness the confrontation.

The role of a host is to do your best to make your guests comfortable. This is why it's best for them not to see any conflicts, if that is possible. At the same time, you have the right to protect your privacy and your property.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Some of my college friends have decided to get together for an impromptu girls' weekend. I think this should be a blast. We have kept in touch over the years but rarely see each other. The plan is to go to a beach community, which sounds great since it's crazy cold where most of us live. I bet you know what's coming next. OK, so we haven't seen each other in about 12 years. I, for one, look nothing like I did when we were in school. Even though the trip is all girls, I feel really self-conscious about putting on a bathing suit and hanging out on the beach with them. You know how women can be! I don't want to be ridiculous, but I'm not kidding when I say that I am uncomfortable about taking this trip. Should I say something to them? Or maybe not go? -- Skittish, Chicago

DEAR SKITTISH: Weight gain can definitely make people feel uncomfortable, especially when you are going to see people who haven't seen you in your fuller state. You should know that most Americans grow bigger after a dozen years, so chances are that at least some of your friends could be bearing extra pounds, and some could be insecure, too.

As you are communicating back and forth, send pictures of yourself and invite them to do the same. Tell your friends that you are sending a photo so they will recognize the "new" you!

Do a little shopping. Invest in a bathing suit that fits you now. And buy a cover-up that provides some modesty, if you want. Most important, though, is to decide to go and have a good time. Choose to welcome your friends without judgment, and choose to receive that same sentiment back from them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who likes me a lot and who is also a colleague. She hires me frequently to work on her productions. Well, through another colleague, I learned that her father just died. I never really met her father, but I feel like I should show up for the funeral because she is my friend. She and I haven't talked for about six months, which is normal. Still, I feel a little awkward about attending, considering I didn't know him. Do you think it is OK for me to go to pay my respects? It is an open funeral. -- Should I Go? Los Angeles

DEAR SHOULD I GO: Do attend the funeral. Obviously, do not sit with the family. Give them their space. At the same time, be sure to greet your friend and express your condolences. She will likely be very pleased to see you in the swell of people who come to pay their respects.

The times when it would be inappropriate for you to attend such a service include if it were listed as private or if some kind of friction existed between you and this woman or any of her family such that there might be discomfort for anyone present.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I did the thing I know better than doing over the holidays: I spent way too much money on gifts for family and my girlfriend. I splurged like crazy, and now here I am, broke. I am way too old for this. Now I am faced with bills that I can't really afford to pay, at least not in full. I'm scared about how to climb out of this hole. How can I stop this bad behavior? -- In Deeper Debt, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR IN DEEPER DEBT: You allude to a pattern in your life of overspending and impulse spending. While your behavior happens to reflect that of a huge swath of our country, it can be curbed. Just like in other situations that reach a critical place, you need help. Do not trick yourself into thinking that you can handle it on your own. You know that you are not an expert on finance.

You may want to start by going to a meeting of Debtors Anonymous (debtorsanonymous.org). Through this free 12-step program you will be in the company of people similar to you who are committed to changing their behavior. You also should find a financial adviser who can help you negotiate lower terms for your outstanding debt and help you design a budget that you can follow.

Be gentle with yourself as you work to change your ways. This didn't occur overnight. Expect it to take time for you to develop good financial habits that will support you over time. Definitely get help.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)