DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a message from the best man from my wedding saying that he is coming to town and asking to get together. I got married 20 years ago, and I have hardly spoken to him over all these years. Our lives sort of drifted apart more than anything. He is a great guy, and I remember all the good times we had together when we were younger, but time just seems to have passed and our lives got busy. I am excited to see him and look forward to meeting his family. What I'm not sure about is whether I should address the fact that we haven't kept in touch over the years. He has tried to keep us connected, but I suck at calling people or emailing them. Really, I'm horrible at it. Still, I want him to know how much I respect and love him. We are going to see each other in a few weeks. What should I do? -- Long-Lost Friend, Seattle, Washington

DEAR LONG-LOST FRIEND: Stay in the present. Respond immediately to your friend to tell him how much you look forward to seeing him when he comes to town. Find out what his plans are and when he thinks he will be available to spend time with you. Rather than apologizing for the time you haven't spent together, use this time to learn about his life and to tell him about yours.

It is not uncommon for people who were close to lose touch over time. Consider it a blessing that you are able to get back into each other's lives at this point. You may also want to work harder at keeping in touch after he leaves. Stop saying that you are bad at communicating and decide that this friendship is worth the extra effort.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found an old friend through LinkedIn. I had been looking for her since she moved away more than 10 years ago. When she left, I wasn't on my best behavior. I was distracted by my work and didn't get over to say goodbye. When I did try to contact her, she didn't respond. Time has gone by, and I want to reach out again. She and I were very close years ago. I would at least like to try to connect in a positive way with her now, even if we aren't destined to be close friends. Is it weird to write to her on LinkedIn? I haven't found any other way. -- Lost Friend, Cincinnati

DEAR LOST FRIEND: The good news about social media outlets is that people can and do find each other. While there is no guarantee that your old friend will choose to connect with you this time, it is worth a try. Write to her and tell her how happy you are that you found her. Ask her about her life and tell her about yours. Let her know that you miss her and hope that she is enjoying her life. Give her your email address and phone number and ask her if she would like to stay in touch.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have decided that I do not want to stay friends with one of the people I started hanging out with a lot last year. This woman is always loud and obnoxious. I don't really like that behavior. I'm pretty quiet and keep to myself. It's weird that we even started hanging out, but we did because she lives in my building and we see each other a lot. She can be very thoughtful, but the loudness and cursing drive me nuts. I know I can't expect her to change her behavior simply because I don't like it, but I am weary of being around her. She is so inflammatory. I want peace in my life this year. How do I go about separating myself from her? -- Seeking Peace, Detroit

DEAR SEEKING PEACE: You may not need to excommunicate this woman completely, especially since you two live in the same building. What you can do is to set boundaries. Limit your engagements with her. Do not invite her to come over to visit. Do not be as available to visit with her as you were in the past. Decline invitations to go out with her if you are worried about her embarrassing behavior.

If she asks you why you aren't spending as much time with her, you can say that you are busy. Or you could be more forthcoming and tell her that you are choosing to be quiet in the New Year. You don't have to spell it out more than that. Your withdrawal from her should spell it out over time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had an argument with an old friend, and things have not been the same since. What happened is that I was confiding in her about some issues I've been having with my boyfriend, and she went off on me. She wrote me a long email telling me everything that I am not doing right in my life. She was extremely critical, and it hurt my feelings. I told her that, and then I pretty much withdrew. Some time has passed, and I really miss my friend. I believe her intentions were good, even though she definitely crossed a line. How can I get my friend back? -- Missing My Friend, Denver

DEAR MISSING MY FRIEND: Call your friend and tell her you want to get together. Tell her you miss her and feel sad that you two have grown apart. Rather than rehashing what happened in the past, decide that you want to rekindle your friendship moving forward. You will have to work on rebuilding trust with your friend, and you may find in time that you will have to address how you talk about sensitive subjects. But you do not have to do that in this first conversation.

For starters, just be together. If your friendship is worth it to both of you, trust that you can work together to mend it.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started dating a young lady a couple of months ago, and the sparks are definitely flying. We have been hanging out a lot, and we both really do like each other. We agreed to take it slow, even though it's hard. I feel like I have to live up to the values I've been taught. I am a leader in my church, and one of the things that I committed to was celibacy. I am a grown man who was previously married, but I have been single for a long time. I'm not sure how long I can hold out, given my new circumstances. It's way too soon to think about getting married, and I wouldn't want to rush to that extreme just because I'm wanting to be intimate with this woman. I'm really in a difficult spot now. I like her a lot, but I'm not sure how to manage this. -- On the Brink, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ON THE BRINK: Whether you are 16 or a full-grown adult, temptation is still temptation. It is natural for you to want to be intimate with someone you are attracted to. You already know this, but the greater challenge is curbing your sexual desire for this woman and replacing it with getting to know her and seeing if you two are compatible.

It seems to be rare these days for people to make the choice not to become intimate with people they find attractive. Yet, since this is your practice and your commitment, stay the course. Talk to your date. Be upfront about your values and your intentions. If you want to remarry, pay attention to see if this woman could be "the one." If not, reduce your temptation risk by ending the relationship once you know it is not what you want long-term.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned something about my husband that I find absolutely nauseating. He doesn't brush his teeth on the weekends. I noticed it because his breath was bad. I thought nothing of it in the morning, but by midday it was still pretty rank. We have been married only a few months, so I am still getting to know his patterns. When I asked him about brushing his teeth, he brushed me off, saying it wasn't a big deal. He claims that nobody brushes their teeth on the weekends. That is absolutely ridiculous.

I think hygiene is super important. I don't want my husband to be a dirty guy. He says I'm a prude to keep asking him to brush his teeth, but I don't think I'm asking too much. Do you? -- Dirty Mouth, Dallas

DEAR DIRTY MOUTH: It is not unreasonable for you to want your husband to brush his teeth each day. At the same time, you cannot force anybody to do anything. What you may want to do is set boundaries for yourself. For instance, you could tell your husband that you will not kiss him unless his mouth is clean. That may get him to come around -- eventually.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)