DEAR HARRIETTE: I started a fitness regimen this summer and was doing pretty well, but I kind of slacked off when the cool weather came. I got an email from a colleague who had been doing something similar when I saw her this fall, and she told me that she has now lost 25 pounds. I have probably gained back half of what I lost. I am so bummed. I feel like a failure. I know my friend wasn't trying to upset me, but her message really messed me up. I haven't responded yet. I don't want to come off wrong, but it's hard for me to be happy for her. What should I say? -- Heavyweight, Madison, Wisconsin

DEAR HEAVYWEIGHT: As hard as it seems right now, what you can do is turn your feelings around. Rather than being sad because your friend has made more progress than you, congratulate her and find out what she has been doing. Ask her what has kept her moving in the right direction. If you can, be honest with her and tell her that you have been struggling. Perhaps she can be a sounding board for you, a source of support.

Perhaps you can identify someone who can be a fitness buddy for you -- it could even be this woman. Losing weight is difficult for most people. If you can team up with someone who can help keep you honest with yourself, that may be helpful.

DEAR HARRIETTE: It's a new year, and I know it probably sounds corny, but I really do want to be a better person this year. I feel like I usually spend all of my time focused on my work. For the past few years, I have hardly made a second to see or talk to friends. I have been trying to make sure that I was doing everything right for my career. It has paid off, as I have risen in my company. But I am lonely. I want to have meaningful friendships. I do have friends, but I have neglected them for so long that I'm not sure how to get close to them again. What do you recommend? -- Friendless, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FRIENDLESS: Chances are, the people who you think are your true friends probably miss you as much as you miss them. Since it has not been your practice to make time for them, before you pick up the phone, take a look at your calendar. Pick one day a week that you can dedicate to personal matters, and mark it on a physical calendar. Then, with clear intention, reach out to the people who matter in your life. Send emails or call. Do your best to schedule "dates" with them on your designated day so that you reintroduce friendship as a priority. You may also want to add a fun activity or hobby to your schedule once a month so that you are not relying on other people to expand your repertoire of ways to expand your experiences.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a happy kid. He is 12 years old, and his friends are the same. Two of his best friends got iPhone 6s for Christmas. I think this is crazy for a child that age. My son knows that he got great gifts for the holiday, but he is envious of his friends. I do not think that a child his age should have responsibility for an expensive phone. How do I talk to my son about this so that he understands without sounding rude? -- Practical Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR PRACTICAL MOM: Sit your son down and have a chat with him. Bring up his friends and their new phones. Point out that it is normal for him to feel a little twinge, given that his two best friends received something that many people long to have right now. Then, let him know that every family has different values. Your family does not think it is wise to give a child something so expensive and fragile, so you did not consider giving him such a gift. Ask him if he likes the things he received for Christmas. Help him to focus his energies on what is before him. It can be tough when he allows his mind to wander over to what his friends have. Your job is to help him keep his sights set on what is actually his.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been the go-to person to talk to among my friends when we are dealing with little stuff that has been no problem. Recently, though, one of my friends has been coming to me with personal problems that I absolutely cannot handle. She has told me that mental illness runs in her family, and she's worried it might happen to her. She has even come to me a couple of times with specific incidents that have occurred, and she wants me to evaluate what it means in her life. I have told her that I don't know how to tell, but she keeps coming back to me. How can I help her? I think she's in trouble. -- Not a Shrink, New Orleans

DEAR NOT A SHRINK: Stand strong when you talk to your friend and make it clear to her that she needs professional help. As the go-to person, what you may want to do is help her find the therapist who may be able to help her. Ask her what insurance she has and then research with her what psychiatrists are covered by her plan. You can present her with a list that she can call.

If she rejects that effort on your part, make it clear to her that you are not qualified to guide her in any other way through her current challenges. The best you can do is to help to get her the help that she needs.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew's birthday is a few days after Christmas. Because of that, I often neglect to give him a separate gift for his birthday. I don't mean to forget. It's just that in the flurry of the holiday season and making sure I have gifts for everybody for Christmas, it's often way after I have traveled back home that I realize I didn't give him a birthday present. My sense is it doesn't matter much to him, but I feel bad about it. Should I give him an extra big birthday gift this year? How should I deal with this? -- Don't Forget, Washington, D.C.

DEAR DON'T FORGET: Instead of drawing attention to your neglect of the past, stay in the present. Get an appropriate gift for your nephew. Do not try to indulge him. Just think carefully about what he may enjoy and give it to him with a card that expresses your love for him. In the future, include him on your holiday gift list twice with a reminder of his birthday. When you write things down, it is easier to keep track of your responsibilities.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 12-year-old daughter has terrible acne. She has medication from her dermatologist and has begun to pay closer attention to cleaning her skin, but her face is almost always broken out in the most painful and unsightly bumps. She is terribly self-conscious about her skin condition, and I am at a loss for how to comfort her. She has begun to wear her hair long in her face to cover up the bumps, but I really think it is making it worse because the oils in her hair are constantly touching the pimples. Some of the children at school have made bad jokes, and now my daughter is reluctant to even go to class. How can I help her hold onto her confidence? -- Beyond the Bumps, Detroit

DEAR BEYOND THE BUMPS: Puberty is a difficult time in most children's lives because their bodies are changing inside and out. Emotions tend to run high thanks to hormonal fluctuations. Add acne to the equation, and it's no wonder that your daughter is having a hard time.

Tell your daughter about puberty and the various things that happen to the body as it matures. While it may seem impossible for her to understand, continue to remind her that this uncomfortable period will pass. If you remember your experiences of puberty, share them with her.

Also encourage her to look around at her classmates. Chances are some of them are beginning to have acne and other physical changes in their bodies, too. It may help her to notice that she is not alone. In terms of hygiene, continue to remind her to cleanse her skin as directed by the dermatologist. You can also encourage her to avoid fried foods, processed foods and sugary soft drinks that tend to trigger breakouts.

Most of all, tell her how much you love her and how proud you are of her. Your faith in her is extremely important during this tender period.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)