DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! I am excited about 2015. I am looking forward to a year brimming with prosperity, good health, fellowship and family. I am claiming abundance for this year, because that is what I want for myself and everyone else. I absolutely believe that the universe has enough of everything in it so that we can all be comfortable and live with grace and ease. For that to happen requires that we all become more mindful of how we live and the choices we make for ourselves and others. We have to choose to be conscious and intentional about how we live each day. That is not a simple task, to be sure.

I am fully aware that on this very day, many of us make promises for what we intend to do differently in the coming year. Many of our goals are lofty and ambitious. Most of us find it impossible to stick to those goals for even a month, let alone a year or a lifetime. Have you ever found yourself in that situation? January is known by many as fitness month because so many people pledge that they are going to lose weight, go back to the gym, etc. How many people live up to that goal? It isn't for lack of interest in improving their lives that people fall short. Often, it is because it is extremely hard to change any behavior, large or small. And it is virtually impossible without a manageable plan.

That is why I want to present a different approach. I am a big believer in dreaming. Dreams have fueled my career and my life for many years. And yes, I believe in having big dreams. To make a dream manifest, though, I have learned that you need to identify small steps that lead to the fulfillment of that dream. For example, I have talked to countless people who tell me they want to write a book but have never gotten around to it. If you want to write a book, you have to start writing and ideally write something every day. Through the discipline of writing, you create a chance for your dream to manifest.

Similarly if you want to get out of debt, don't just dream about it, do something. Write down every debt that you have. Create a timeline for paying off all of your bills. Then methodically follow your timeline.

Same goes for weight loss, fitness, getting an education -- pretty much anything you want to do in your life. Claim it, and then create a manageable plan so that you can manifest it. Whenever possible, have a buddy who will support you. Having encouragement when you are attempting to change a behavior or execute a plan can be extremely helpful, especially when you are feeling vulnerable.

And if you share my dream of ensuring that everyone in the world would have abundance and joy just as I intend to have, make sure that you include the welfare of others in your choices. Choose a charity to support financially, through service or both. When we remember that we are part of a bigger world and we include that awareness in our choices, we create space for goodness to reach all of us.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am noticing a new behavior in my tween daughter that is driving me nuts. Pretty much anything I say to her she rejects as if I don't know what I am talking about. We are constantly bickering over every little thing. I asked her one day how she became an expert on everything at such a young age, trying to add some levity to the situation. Honestly, I can't take it. I have heard that children get testy as they grow up, but this is ridiculous. What can I do to stop getting caught up in the arguments? -- Stressed Out, Baltimore

DEAR STRESSED OUT: As the adult who is not going through puberty, you need to remember who you are in the relationship. Have compassion for your daughter. This doesn't mean that you should allow her to say anything in any tone of voice. It does mean that you may want to help her notice when she is being moody or particularly intense. Some children find it helpful to identify the intense mood swing and reflective behavior as an alter ego. You and she may want to give "her" a name so that you can notice "her" and laugh together when she takes over.

Another technique you may want to use is to create a nonverbal cue that either of you can use when you notice that you have started to argue. It could be tapping your nose or making the time out sign. Essentially, it is creating a way for you to press the reset button together. It works if you agree in advance that whenever either of you does this, you promise to start over using a more amicable tone.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I get so many emails these days that it is hard to keep track of them. It has become a problem for me because I have missed following up on key messages from family and work. One of my clients got mad and threatened to take his business elsewhere. If that isn't bad enough, one of my friends got upset because I didn't respond to his invitation to go to his birthday party. I didn't see either of these messages. I feel overwhelmed by technology and really wish I didn't have to manage email because I'm not good at it. I know already that this is wishful thinking. What should I do? I don't want to be considered rude or uncaring. -- Out of Control, Denver

DEAR OUT OF CONTROL: You need to "make friends" with technology and figure out how to use it to your advantage. Start by separating your work from your personal life. Create a new email address specifically for your friends and family. Send a message to all of them from that address requesting that they use that one. Next, clean out your other email address. Delete everything that is old and unnecessary. Review everything carefully and respond to anything that is outstanding. If you are late in your reply, be sure to apologize for your tardiness and then get to business. Being organized with technology will help you to stay on top of your responsibilities.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: We drive a lot at the end of the year going to visit family in three states. There are five us -- two adults and three kids. We have fun usually, but one of the things that always causes some friction is what music we listen to. All of us have different musical tastes, and tempers flare when the hours tick away and one of us wants a particular music that's not playing. In the past, we would defer to the driver because music can help to keep you alert. But that doesn't totally work because the four other people aren't satisfied. What do you recommend? -- In Tune, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR IN TUNE: I recommend that you mix up all of the activities, including the music. Do not keep music on all the time. Play word games or location games that get everyone looking out the window and learning about where you are going. Tell fun stories about previous trips. Invite each family member to contribute. You may even want to start a story and pass the story around so that you build the story together. Don't worry if it turns a bit fictional. What's important is that it should be fun.

As far as music goes, give each person a 20-minute window for listening to his or her favorite songs. Either shop for your music on the various available channels, or go to your own music on CDs to play. Keep mixing up the genres so that everybody has fun. With the various music services now, you may also want to explore new options. For example, there's a free app called Songza that has unusual playlists based on specific interests. My husband plays that when we are on long road trips, and we all get to hear a medley of unusual musical selections. Make it fun for the family. Your attitude toward your time in the car will make all the difference in how welcoming your family members are to each other's preferences.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am constantly having health issues of one kind or another. My husband calls me a hypochondriac because when I really feel bad, I go to the doctor. He says I should just change the way I eat and exercise more because medicine is not going to help me. I do think he has a point about exercise and diet, but I feel pretty certain that if I have a serious upper respiratory infection or a massive headache, I should get it checked out. When I have gone to the doctor for these things and others, I get medicine that works. The problem is if I get another respiratory infection, I have to go again. My husband doesn't have issues like me, so he thinks I'm overreacting. My doctor doesn't, by the way. How can I get him to be more understanding? -- Health Challenged, Dallas

DEAR HEALTH CHALLENGED: If you are willing to have your husband learn all the details of your health history, bring him with you to a doctor's appointment and encourage him to ask questions about your health status and the care recommended by the doctor. Let him pose his range of questions to the health professional who can answer them with clarity and perspective. This may help.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)