DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is terminally ill and who has talked about her illness every step of the way. She is not talking so much now, because she has taken a turn for the worse. When other people ask about her, I'm not sure what to say. I am a private person. I would never want to talk about myself if I get sick, so I don't really want to talk about her. It feels wrong. At the same time, though, I know she likes to keep everybody informed. And she can't talk right now because she is really sick. How can I do what she would like without feeling like a gossip? -- Worried About My Friend, Denver

DEAR WORRIED ABOUT MY FRIEND: I am sorry to hear about your friend's illness. I have learned that when loved ones are not well, it affects far more people than the person who is sick. Just as your friend has her way of dealing with her illness, you have the right to have your own comfort level regarding sharing details about her. To honor her, you should discourage others from calling her right now. You can acknowledge that she is unwell. Recommend that friends write her cards or send emails, if you think she looks at her computer. You can also refer people to other friends who may feel more comfortable talking about her condition.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In order to get ahead, I am always willing to pitch in and volunteer so that I can prove myself. This has worked a lot in my career. I volunteer and gain real work experience that has turned into great contracts that have paid well. It hasn't happened every time, of course, but it has been enough for me to believe in the practice of it. Recently, I have been volunteering for a big organization that I would love to have as a client. I told my contact there of my intentions from the beginning, and she said she would help me. Well, it's five months later, and still no bites at all. What should I do? -- Wrong Track, Cincinnati

DEAR WRONG TRACK: Talk to your supervisor and your main contact there and request an assessment of your work to date. Remind them that you are looking for a job and hope that when an opportunity arises at this company that you will be considered. Pitch yourself for whatever it is that you would like to be hired to do there.

Also, know that you may need to be patient a bit longer. While five months may feel like forever, some people who have leveraged volunteerism admit that it can often take longer. Plan a strategy that makes you feel comfortable, one that allows time for you to continue to show your value to the company that also gives the company time to either carve out a permanent position for you or not.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently started a new job, and I am trying to get acclimated. I feel like there is a lot of competition going on. From my first day, there's this woman who seems to have it out for me. I can feel her watching me, but whenever I try to speak to her, she looks away. We don't have similar jobs, so I'm not sure what that's all about. Most of the staff has worked there for years, so I'm really the newbie. I want to make inroads and feel comfortable. How can I do that? -- Newbie, Detroit

DEAR NEWBIE: Think about each of your co-workers. Can you identify anybody with whom you have established a friendly exchange? If so, start with that person -- be friendly and attentive. At the same time, do your best to engage everyone. Greet them warmly with eye contact and a friendly, "Good morning." Even if they do not respond, continue to be gracious.

As far as the woman who currently treats you in a contentious way, be rigorously kind to her. Do not give in to her negativity. You do not need to attempt conversation with her. Just greet her with a smile. If you have to work directly with her, be professional and pleasant. You may learn what her grudge is over time.

It takes time to build bonds with people. If you remain anchored in doing your best as you continue to be positive and friendly, you will be doing all that you can toward forging a positive future there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son's friend won an iPhone 6 at their school fundraiser. Ever since then, my son, who is 12, has been begging me to get him one. That phone is ridiculously expensive. I do not think it makes any sense to purchase it for him. I understand that he is envious of his friend with the phone. Their whole friend group bought raffle tickets, but only one kid could win. How do I manage his emotions about this? I am not buying him that phone. -- Redefining Values, Chicago

DEAR REDEFINING VALUES: Remind your son of how his friend acquired the phone. Every now and then, somebody does come across really good luck. Make it clear that the only way that you would allow him, at his age, to have such an expensive telephone would be if he won it honestly. Otherwise, you do not believe it makes sense for a 12-year-old to have such a thing. Remind him of the fact that phones are commonly stolen, broken and lost -- all reasons why a child should not have that phone. Tell him how much the phone costs. You can suggest that he save up his money if he really wants this phone. When he has enough money, you two can have the conversation again.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a small friend group, and we have been close for a long time. Even if we don't talk a lot, we check in when anything big is happening in our lives. That's why I was shocked to learn that one of my good friends got married a few months ago and never told me. I found out from one of our mutual friends who participated in the wedding. I feel really hurt. We used to talk all the time. While I know that people can invite whomever they want to their wedding, I can't understand why I wasn't even informed, let alone invited. I want to say something, but I don't have a clue what to say. -- Speechless, Syracuse, New York

DEAR SPEECHLESS: You first have to lick your wounds and assume that the reason you were left out was not personal. It is far more likely that your friend got caught up in her plans, and if you are not one of the people she talks to on a regular basis, you may, sadly, have been an oversight. Naturally, that doesn't make you feel much better, but it may be true.

What you can do is call your friend and congratulate her on her nuptials. Without fishing for why you weren't invited, have a loving and open conversation. Ask her about her husband, how they met, etc. Tell her that you would love to meet him at some point in the future. In other words, let the past be the past. If she has a reason for not inviting you, it will come out over time. But don't approach her thinking the worst. Just be happy for her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate to feel this way, but I am jealous of my husband. He and I started a weight loss campaign in the summer. When we got on the scale, we weighed almost the same. I have been working my butt off, exercising and eating carefully, as has he. The difference is I have barely lost 10 pounds, and he has lost 15 and counting. It's not fair! I feel like there's nothing I can do to catch up with him. He isn't gloating or anything, but I look at him and I feel bad about myself. How can I change my attitude? -- Attitude Check, Milwaukee

DEAR ATTITUDE CHECK: Your focus and attention need to be squarely on you, not on your husband or anybody else. Look at yourself in the mirror. Thank yourself for getting this far. Commit to figuring out what you need to do to reach your goal. Watch what you eat. I'm sure you know that you have to take in fewer calories than you burn or your exercise will not manifest the results you want. You may want to get a physical and go to a nutritionist to get advice on intake. You may also want to work with a trainer to up your cardio workout. This can help you to burn more calories. Congratulate your husband and yourself. And keep your eyes on the prize!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)