DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-husband invited me to meet him for dinner next week. He will be in town and thought that it would be good for us to have a moment, as he put it. We have been divorced for six years, and the reason we broke up is because he had multiple affairs. I was devastated for a long time. I have since moved on. I am remarried and have a good life. My ex said he had some news to share with me. I am not sure if I should go to find out what it is. Also, I'm not sure if I should mention this to my husband. He knows about how ugly that marriage became, and I don't want to dredge up old stuff. -- Old and New, Boston

DEAR OLD AND NEW: There is no telling what your ex wants to share with you. You have to decide if you are curious enough to find out. You should definitely discuss this with your husband. Do not put yourself in the vulnerable position of meeting this man without your husband's knowledge and blessing. You will only be creating potential discord in your marriage as you would also be losing the type of emotional support that your husband can provide. When you talk to your husband, go through all of the thoughts and concerns that you have. Know that your ex might even want to apologize to you for his past actions. Even if that is the case, you want your husband to be a part of it.

In the best of worlds, I say go to the meeting with your current husband. Whatever your ex has to tell you, let him say it to the two of you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I did a project for a friend that was supposed to be used on the Internet only. I have worked with him many times before, and he is a stand-up guy. This time, the project involved other people and was on a much bigger scale. It looks great, and all of the participants were excited until we discovered that the project was also used as a major advertisement for a big international company. We did not sign up for that. Nobody got paid for this, and we would have required payment if we had known it was going to be an ad. What is our recourse at this point? -- Hoodwinked, Atlanta

DEAR HOODWINKED: Contact your friend immediately to find out what he knows. Tell him your concerns and ask him to get to the bottom of it.

It is time to lawyer up! In preparation for what will likely be an expensive engagement with an attorney, contact all of the parties in question whom you believe have been duped to see if you are on the same page. Then go to an attorney together. Unless you signed a release that expressly states that you have given permission for your work to be used in an ad, it cannot.

Do your homework. Find out absolutely everything you can about the project. Gather screen shots of the ads and any and all proof of how the project was improperly used. Then, with your attorney, approach whoever the official entities are for the project, including the company that is running the ads. The lawyers will then step in to do their job.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I take public transportation on a regular basis, and there is a growing trend where people bring their dogs on the subway. In the beginning, there were two ways people would travel with their dogs: They would put them in a small bag or in a travel cage. Nowadays, people bring dogs of all sizes on the subway. I find it unsanitary to have a dog sit in a seat or lay on the subway floor. I would like to see this alarming trend come to an end sooner than later. I do not mind people bringing their pets on the subway as long as they are properly contained. Is there someone I can write to or call about this unwanted trend? -- Control Your Dog, Bronx, New York

DEAR CONTROL YOUR DOG: As one who is allergic to dogs and cats, I totally understand your dismay at having them riding on a subway car near you without being properly contained. The guidelines of the New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority clearly state that pets can travel, as you point out, if they are in a bag or cage. They are not allowed to travel on a subway unless they are contained. That includes large dogs. There actually are large, wheeled containers for bigger dogs. Only service dogs are allowed on public transportation unenclosed.

That said, if you discover offenders to the laws, call 511 to report what you witnessed. If passengers remain attentive about such reporting, there may be a chance that offenders will follow directions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 7-year-old daughter loves playing with her 13-year-old brother's toys. She has her own toys, but she does not play with them because she said that boys' toys are "way cooler." I don't know what "way cooler" means, but I would prefer my girl to play with her toys. Do you think I am wrong for thinking this way, or should I find "cooler" girl toys for my daughter to play with? -- Daddy's Little Girl, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL: Your son's toys will be fascinating to your daughter no matter what they are because they belong to her big brother. Her desire to play with them shows her interest in connecting with him. Chances are, if you bought her duplicates of all of his toys, she would still choose to play with his. This could be extremely annoying to your teenage son, who is probably doing his best to grow up and be independent.

Suggest to your son that he devote some of his time to playing with his sister. Enjoying a bit of her brother's attention should help her to become less obsessive about his toys. Suggest that your son let her play with one of his toys on a regular basis as long as she agrees that she will not touch any of his other toys without his permission. Negotiating playtime and boundaries should help them to find a comfort zone.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: We honor those great Americans who have chosen to serve our country through the military. If you look back at history, you will see that from the very beginning of our great nation, people were fighting for freedom. Thousands of lives have been lost in the name of freedom. And many thousands more have been injured in one way or another. Of course, there also are veterans whose lives were spared and who moved on to reap the hard-earned benefits that have been put in place to support them and their families as they build their lives.

To all of our veterans, we owe our gratitude. This is true whether we have believed in the particular war that they were fighting or not. For someone to choose to put him- or herself in harm's way on behalf of our country is an honorable pursuit.

Each year we honor veterans at this time. How will you honor veterans today? What will you do to show your gratitude for their service? The options are vast. Start with your family. Are there any veterans among you? If any are alive, contact them and thank them for their service. Ask them to share stories with you of what they did when they were in service. If you have family members on active duty, reach out to them and make sure they know how much they are loved.

Consider making an offering to a veterans' charity. The Wounded Warrior Project (woundedwarriorproject.org) does remarkable work to support veterans in need. You can donate clothing to veterans using Pick Up Please (pickupplease.org). With this organization, you schedule a pickup and leave your package outside your door on the scheduled day. If you live in an apartment building without a doorman, you may want to use a different type of service. Another organization that collects money to support veterans is the USO (uso.org).

You can also give your time. Visit a veterans' hospital and spend time listening to veterans recount their stories. Contact your local veterans administration and find out about writing letters to military overseas. Make a group effort with friends and family where you go to a veterans' hospital and spread cheer. This can be as simple as going from room to room expressing gratitude to playing games with them to just chatting.

Politically, if you take issue with the policies that are currently in place regarding the military, speak up. Use this time to engage your voice productively. Change occurs when enough people speak up about their concerns. You can write to your members of Congress. You can write to the president of the United States. You can write to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Bottom line -- you do not have to feel powerless. You can make your thoughts known to officials who have the power to invoke change. This is a precious right that Americans have. Let us not be silenced. If we feel strongly about the treatment of veterans or about the status of our involvement in current wars, we must speak our minds. This is the gift and responsibility of freedom.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)