DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend has lost a lot of weight recently, and I am worried about him. He says he has not changed his eating habits, but I never see him eat a thing. One day I saw him make a rum and cola at 10 a.m.! I asked him if he was OK because no one drinks at this time of day unless they're in serious denial, and I hope this does not apply to my friend. He told me his drinking binge started while he was on the road because he wanted to ease the pain of being bored. My friend recently turned 30, and I am concerned he may be a high-functioning alcoholic. I would like to get him some help, but I do not know what to do. What is my first step? -- A Concerned Friend, Nashville, Tennessee

DEAR A CONCERNED FRIEND: Since your friend admitted that he has been binge drinking and that he even knows the reason why, you have an opening to begin a conversation with him. Tell him that you care about him and that right now you are very concerned about his drinking. Tell him that you have done some research and learned that, according to the National Institute on Alcohol and Alcoholism, binge drinking for men is typically when a man consumes five or more drinks in one sitting or when a woman consumes four or more (cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/binge-drinking.htm).

Because excessive drinking can be harmful to your friend's health, suggest that he get help. He can go to Alcoholics Anonymous. There are free meetings all over the United States, which he can find at aa.org. You can also suggest that he get a physical to learn the status of his health. If he is willing to tell his doctor about his drinking, he may be able to get medical or psychological support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have lived in my new apartment for 10 months now, and I am planning to invite a few friends over for the first time. I am wondering if it's too late to have a housewarming party? What do you think? -- Open House, Chicago

DEAR OPEN HOUSE: Typically, a housewarming party is hosted as a way for the new occupant to settle in and even receive small gifts that could help him or her complete the new home setup. Given how long you have been in your home, you may want to position the party differently. Of course you can have a party. What you may want to do is not call it a housewarming, but simply invite them to a party at your home. It can be centered around a special event -- anything from a holiday to a birthday to a friend visiting from out of town. You could also tell them that it has been a busy year and you finally are able to welcome them to your new home. Bottom line: Have the party. Don't ask for gifts. Enjoy your friends.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: All of the moms at my son's school talk about "the help" they have for everything. Many of them have cooks and housekeepers and lawn maintenance people, you name it. I think it's great that they can afford all of these services. We cannot. We pay for tuition, which is hefty. And that's it. My husband works, and I am a homemaker. We figured out this was a cost-effective way to get our son the best education and be able to parent him. He and I do lots of things together at home and in town. Usually I feel good about our choices, but it's hard when these women go on and on about how they spend their wealth. Some of them work, but many do not. I don't think any of them spend as much time with their children as I do with mine. Baby sitters typically fill that void. How can I relax about this? Sometimes they really get under my skin. -- Have Not, Syracuse, New York

DEAR HAVE NOT: Change your perspective. Just as you teach your son not to covet others' things or experiences, you must do the same. In place of that dangerous, envious position, count your blessings. Remember why you and your husband made the choices that are currently guiding your steps. Reflect on specific moments you have shared with your son that are meaningful for you both.

You can also introduce other topics into the conversation with these moms. Talk about your children and how they are growing up. When you discover a great activity in town, share it with the others. Be a catalyst for broadening the conversation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. I recommended a particular hair product to a woman at my job because her hair looks similar to mine -- really curly. I was so excited about it that she went right out and bought it. The next day she texted me to say that it was a disaster. The product did not work on her hair at all. She asked if I would like her to give it to me. I feel like I should probably buy it from her. I feel horrible. I thought I was doing her a solid, you know? And it totally backfired. What do you think I should do? -- Frizzy, Chicago

DEAR FRIZZY: Isn't it terrible when good intentions don't work out? I bet this woman knows that your heart was in the right place even though she can't use the product. Yes, it would be great for you to offer to buy the product from her, especially since you love it and it will go to good use. She may brush that off. Follow her lead after you make the offer.

In the future, if you recommend a hair product to someone, consider giving the person a small sample of yours to try. That way, the risk is low, and you still get to share your inspiration. Sometimes it may work to the person's advantage. Don't give up on sharing.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company has informed its employees that the store will open at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving because it is anticipating a large crowd for the Black Friday sales. I am not too happy because I was looking forward to spending time with my family. Now I have to cut my night short because I have to work. I am upset with the decision to open, and I am wondering if there is a way I can protest this plan to have the doors open on Thanksgiving. -- Not Thankful, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NOT THANKFUL: This is a new trend among retailers that has a lot of employees up in arms. As you know, retailers are doing all that they can to get customers in the stores spending money, especially since for many stores sales have been in a slump of late.

I also know that this is not your problem -- in a way. What can you do? You can speak privately with your direct supervisor and request that you be allowed to come in later than has been scheduled. You can explain your personal situation and plead for mercy, although it's not likely that this will yield the desired results. If so moved, you could also gather a coalition of employees to protest.

A more practical recommendation for the future would be that you request that day off as a vacation day as early as possible, so that you skip the need to fret over this. Sadly, the new goal of opening on Thanksgiving Day is gaining ground, so this is a fight you can easily lose.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met this beautiful woman who is nine years my junior, and for the first time in a long time, I can see a real relationship blooming. We like each other's company, and I am doing things that I would not normally do. For example, I let my date sit on the aisle seat when we go to the movies. Or if we go to a restaurant, I sit with my back toward the front door. It may seem small, but it is a big deal to me because I feel so comfortable around her that I can let my guard down. However, there is a problem: We are both in school, and as older folks trying to get our degrees, I do not want us to lose focus on our studies. How do I add this new dimension to my life? -- Happy feelings, Bronx, New York

DEAR HAPPY FEELINGS: Since both of you are in school, you both share a commitment to personal excellence. Make a conscious decision together to support each other in your educational pursuits as you also cultivate your relationship. Talk about time management. Be mindful of when you have exams or extra demands at work. Schedule time to see each other as you also give each other space to fulfill your responsibilities. If you can keep your focus on your studies, consider studying together sometimes -- it can be one version of a date for you two!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)