DEAR HARRIETTE: My company has informed its employees that the store will open at 6:00 p.m. on Thanksgiving because it is anticipating a large crowd for the Black Friday sales. I am not too happy because I was looking forward to spending time with my family. Now I have to cut my night short because I have to work. I am upset with the decision to open, and I am wondering if there is a way I can protest this plan to have the doors open on Thanksgiving. -- Not Thankful, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR NOT THANKFUL: This is a new trend among retailers that has a lot of employees up in arms. As you know, retailers are doing all that they can to get customers in the stores spending money, especially since for many stores sales have been in a slump of late.

I also know that this is not your problem -- in a way. What can you do? You can speak privately with your direct supervisor and request that you be allowed to come in later than has been scheduled. You can explain your personal situation and plead for mercy, although it's not likely that this will yield the desired results. If so moved, you could also gather a coalition of employees to protest.

A more practical recommendation for the future would be that you request that day off as a vacation day as early as possible, so that you skip the need to fret over this. Sadly, the new goal of opening on Thanksgiving Day is gaining ground, so this is a fight you can easily lose.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met this beautiful woman who is nine years my junior, and for the first time in a long time, I can see a real relationship blooming. We like each other's company, and I am doing things that I would not normally do. For example, I let my date sit on the aisle seat when we go to the movies. Or if we go to a restaurant, I sit with my back toward the front door. It may seem small, but it is a big deal to me because I feel so comfortable around her that I can let my guard down. However, there is a problem: We are both in school, and as older folks trying to get our degrees, I do not want us to lose focus on our studies. How do I add this new dimension to my life? -- Happy feelings, Bronx, New York

DEAR HAPPY FEELINGS: Since both of you are in school, you both share a commitment to personal excellence. Make a conscious decision together to support each other in your educational pursuits as you also cultivate your relationship. Talk about time management. Be mindful of when you have exams or extra demands at work. Schedule time to see each other as you also give each other space to fulfill your responsibilities. If you can keep your focus on your studies, consider studying together sometimes -- it can be one version of a date for you two!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I created a crowdfunding campaign where people can donate money for our project. We wanted to raise $25,000 in a month's time. The goal was a lofty one, and we did not meet our numbers. We only raised $1,500 in 30 days. I am disappointed that more people did not give to our campaign. I plan to create another crowdfunding attempt some time soon, and I would like to know what can I do to ensure a more successful endeavor in the future. -- It Takes a Village, Nashville, Tennessee

DEAR IT TAKES A VILLAGE: I remember when the notion of crowdfunding came into our collective awareness. It sounded amazing, but almost too good to be true. My question was: Why would people I don't know choose to give me money? Now I've seen how Barack Obama, then presidential candidate, used it to collect massive numbers of $5 offerings from the American public. So, I could see that it can work. But the difference between him and me, or average folks like most of us, is that he had a clear agenda with a machine behind it.

What many people do not realize when they engage crowdfunding sources is that they need to have a complete marketing plan in place before simply asking for money. It is important to have an appealing presentation and a clear understanding of your target audience before you invite them to support you. Otherwise, it won't work. I interviewed veteran filmmaker Bill Duke (http://theroottv.theroot.com/video/Can-Crowd-Funding-Finance-a-Dre?wpisrc=trl_more_pt2) about this topic, and he explained how difficult it can be to raise money even if you are a celebrity. My recommendation to you is that before you try again, make sure that your presentation is tight, that you have identified and can reach the audience that will be interested in your project and that you are ready to push go when the money comes in.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 10 years old, and he plays little league football. He is starting to learn how to play the game, and I would appreciate it if other parents would not heckle the children during their learning process. I do not want my son to quit because a parent may make fun of him. What are some ways I can get the parents to encourage their children and stop being mean? -- Sports Dad, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR SPORTS DAD: Seeking a kumbaya on a sports field may be naive, as desirable as the idea is. Parents very naturally get extremely animated when they are watching their children compete in sporting activities. While it would be great for parents as a whole to be encouraging rather than disparaging, that is almost impossible to control.

I believe you will get better results by continually talking to your son and encouraging him to work hard at developing his skills. Point out to him that some children and parents can become passionate and sometimes inappropriate during a game. Encourage him to ignore those people. He must try to tune out their negative comments and refocus on doing the best job he can.

During a calm moment, you might also ask the negative parents to cool it when talking about your child or others. Do not confront the person publicly, as that likely will create an even more incendiary situation.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have become friendly with a woman in my building who has a really good heart, but she is rough around the edges. She is so incredibly loud when she talks that I can hear her way before she gets to my door. She just talks at a super-high level. I feel like I almost need earplugs to be around her. I'm not sure what I can do about it. I can tell that she doesn't realize she is so loud. She didn't grow up with a family full of kids or anything. Who knows what's up with her, but I can't take it. I have never said anything before about her tone of voice, but I'm afraid that if I don't say anything, I will just have to avoid her. -- My Head Hurts, Denver

DEAR MY HEAD HURTS: It is not rude for you to tell your friend that she is talking too loud. Consider it self-preservation. Be direct with her. Ask her to lower her voice. Explain that you have noticed that especially when she gets excited about something she raises her voice and sometimes it's just too loud. Ask her for permission for you to give her a signal to lower her voice. For example, you can literally use your hand to show her that you would like her to bring the volume down.

If she agrees, know that it will take a while for her to be able to honor your request. If she has been talking loudly for years, that is her natural volume. You may also suggest that she have a hearing test. Sometimes people speak loudly when they have compromised hearing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked on a project with a group of volunteers, and I can't tell you how disappointed I am. Each of us had a responsibility, and most people just didn't do their jobs. I kid you not! They accepted things to do, and in the end just didn't do them. Then one woman who had taken on a lot did attempt to complete her tasks, but when she figured out she wasn't going to finish, she didn't tell anyone. Imagine my horror when, at the last minute, we were trying to get final details together and so much was a mess. A few of us saved the day, but I will never look at these women the same. How could be they so lax? What can I say to them? -- Disappointed, Chicago

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: Often team members do not pitch in at the same level, whether they are volunteers or even when they are paid. Yes, it is disappointing. Rather than singling out the slackers, you may want to take time to acknowledge the people who stepped up and saved the day. In a debrief meeting, you can address tasks and people assigned to them. There you can point out how devastating it was to the overall effort to have people commit to duties and not fulfill them. It may be pointless to ask people why they dropped the ball. If they offer an explanation, great. Otherwise, just outline what needs to happen in the future for the overall health of the organization.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)