DEAR HARRIETTE: My son just went on an overnight trip with his school, and everybody came back complaining that the food was horrible and the trip was poorly organized. The parents were fairly shocked, considering that these kids go to private school, and the trip was expensive. Without trying to turn our children into brats, a few of us want to speak to the administration about the poor quality of conditions and food that they say they experienced. How can we do that without sounding entitled? This is an annual trip, and we would feel irresponsible not bringing it up and having it happen again next year. -- Bad Taste, Yonkers, New York

DEAR BAD TASTE: Some camps are rugged, even those that are attended by private school children. That, however, does not mean that food in particular should be bad. Do some sleuthing before you report to find out exactly what "bad" means. Make sure the issue isn't whether it was gourmet, but more if it was healthy, well-cooked, served in a clean environment, etc.

Then, by all means, speak to the administration. Organize a small group of concerned parents and go directly to whoever planned the trip. Express your children's concerns, find out if the administration is aware and, if so, what they are going to do about it. Be clear as to why you are bringing this up: Namely, that your children came back extremely upset about the camp's conditions and food. Let your school know that you feel that you would be remiss if you said nothing and potentially let history repeat itself next year. Follow up with the administrator to ensure that your verbalized concerns did not fall on deaf ears.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I get regular direct messages on Facebook from people I don't know. Sometimes they seem like people who are trying to date me or something. It's kind of weird, if you ask me. I never answer them, but I wonder how I can get them to stop. -- Invaded, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR INVADED: Yes, one of the dangers of putting yourself out there with social media is that you are vulnerable to people you don't know, and some with dubious intentions may contact you. The relief may be that you can fix this. For starters, you can report anyone who seems suspicious to Facebook -- as well as the other large social media platforms. The perpetrator will be investigated to determine if foul play or bad intentions are evident. If so, the person can be removed from the platform entirely.

Easier still, you can change your settings and limit who has permission to contact you. You have the ability to make your page private so that only your actual friends get to communicate with you and access the information that you post.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is terminally ill. She has been battling breast cancer for many years, and it has reached stage 4. I didn't even know what that meant at first, but I read up on it and see that it means it has metastasized. I feel so sad for her, even though she is in great spirits. As a friend, I'm not really sure what I should be doing to support her. I call her from time to time, but I know her doctor told her not to use too much energy. When she gets on the phone, she gets going and could be talking for hours on end. She has a family, including teenage children. I want to be there for her and for them. We aren't the best of friends, but we have been friends for a long time. She is very open about her illness. What should I do? -- Having Her Back, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR HAVING HER BACK: Go visit your friend and talk to her in person. Tell her that you want to be of help. Determine your boundaries about support before you go. For instance, if you are not in a position to help care for her children, do not offer that. If you do want to be a mentor to them, speak up. If you are a good cook and you could help prepare meals now and even possibly after she passes, offer specifically what you can do.

It is important for you not to overpromise. In a delicate situation like this, offers are taken very seriously. Evaluate what you can manage and present that to her, even if it is as minimal as calling on a regular basis to check in on her status, leaving what happens in the future to the future. Make sure your friend knows that you care tremendously about her and her family, and offer her your prayers.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a fancy restaurant that I have visited once before, and when I walked in, I saw a mutual friend of my boyfriend and me. When I went over to say hello, he nonchalantly said that he had just seen my boyfriend at the restaurant the other day with another mutual friend. That other woman definitely has the hots for my guy. So now I'm mad. I'm sure this guy didn't mean to rat out my boyfriend, but now I know. What should I say to him? I don't want to be the annoying, clingy girlfriend, but if he is dating her and me, this is a problem. -- What to Say, Syracuse, New York

DEAR WHAT TO SAY: Next time you are with your boyfriend, tell him where you went for dinner and tell him that you heard that he had just been there with the mutual friend. Ask him what the occasion was that took them there. If you are suspicious, ask him directly if anything is going on.

Chances are that you will be able to tell if he is honest or lying. You will have to trust your gut to decide if this was a date.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I sing in my church choir and have done so since I was a teenager. A new family joined our church, and now two members of the family have asked to join the choir. At first we thought it was great that they wanted to be active right away. Now we know it's not so good after all. They are both tone-deaf. It doesn't matter how many times the choir director plays the notes for them, they are still off. It is hard to stay focused with them singing near me. I know our choir director believes that everyone should be welcome, but is it right if it compromises the sound? -- Killing Me Softly, Denver

DEAR KILLING ME SOFTLY: Some choirs act as yours does by welcoming everyone, regardless of skill. As hard as it may be right now to accept that, do your best to be inclusive. If you truly cannot concentrate, you can ask to be moved in your position on the choir. But make sure that your heart is open to these people. Let your love of the message neutralize your annoyance at their vocal ability.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My good friend is single while most of her friends are married or have kids. She has two dogs that she loves like they are her children. She cooks special food for them and takes them to the groomer once a month. It seems pretty outlandish, if you ask me, but she is adamant about calling them her children. She recently lost her job, so now she's collecting unemployment, and one of the dogs got sick. She took the dog to the vet to the tune of several thousand dollars. She called and was complaining about the cost to me, and it was hard for me to listen. The way I grew up, if a dog got really sick, you put it down. It was considered the humane thing to do. She is willing to use all of the money she has to care for these dogs. She even asked to borrow money the other day because she was running low and had to go back to the vet. How can I support her when I don't agree with her decisions? -- Help a Friend, Washington, D.C.

DEAR HELP A FRIEND: Do your best not to judge your friend. While she may not follow the practices that were common some years ago, she is doing the best she can. Many people with pets feel a tremendous closeness to their animals and do consider them to be like people, like their children. The veterinary business has developed accordingly. Now it is possible to prolong an animal's life indefinitely in some cases. Dogs, in particular, suffer from many of the same diseases that afflict people, and veterinarians have developed countless ways to treat them.

As far as your friend goes, just be there for her. Listen to her. Be empathetic. Do not suggest that she put her dogs down. That would feel equivalent to someone telling a parent to let a child die. If your friend asks you for money, give if you choose. But don't base your generosity on what she is going to do with the money. Base it instead on whether you can and want to share it at that time.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)