DEAR HARRIETTE: I sing in my church choir and have done so since I was a teenager. A new family joined our church, and now two members of the family have asked to join the choir. At first we thought it was great that they wanted to be active right away. Now we know it's not so good after all. They are both tone-deaf. It doesn't matter how many times the choir director plays the notes for them, they are still off. It is hard to stay focused with them singing near me. I know our choir director believes that everyone should be welcome, but is it right if it compromises the sound? -- Killing Me Softly, Denver
DEAR KILLING ME SOFTLY: Some choirs act as yours does by welcoming everyone, regardless of skill. As hard as it may be right now to accept that, do your best to be inclusive. If you truly cannot concentrate, you can ask to be moved in your position on the choir. But make sure that your heart is open to these people. Let your love of the message neutralize your annoyance at their vocal ability.