DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I went out to dinner with some of his colleagues the other night, and we had a great time. I was surprised because we hardly ever go out anymore, and the evening often ends up in an argument. None of that happened. I want to say something to my husband about how nice it was, but I'm afraid that I might start an argument if I bring up the difference between this recent evening and what it's usually like. What can I say that would be appropriate? -- Wanting More, Detroit

DEAR WANTING MORE: Let go of your need to compare one activity to another. If you don't hold on to the bad stuff, you create space for it to go away.

Talk to your husband about your great date. Tell him what you enjoyed, especially as it relates to the two of you enjoying each other's company. Suggest that you go out again in the near future. It could be something simple that you both like, such as taking a walk on a brisk fall evening, going out to dinner, attending a sporting event -- whatever you both consider fun. Continue to suggest outlets for mutual enjoyment. That's the key to unlocking your happiness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: OK, so I'm annoyed. I work in the music business, and it can be fun, although it's a lot of hard work, just like anything else. Because I know a person or two who may be pseudo-famous, my boys are always hitting me up, asking me to get them an autograph or tickets to shows. I can hardly ever do that. That's not how this thing works. I can't be building my career and trying to hook people up before I'm even in there good. Know what I mean? I bet you do. But they don't. When I say I can't ask for something like seven free tickets to a concert, they come at me with attitude. I try to tell them that this is business, just like anything else. If this artist gives away tickets like that, he'll never make any money. But when I say that stuff, they just think I'm being stingy and trying to keep the experience to myself. That's not it at all. I'm trying to keep it real. I won't have a job if I keep asking for handouts or acting like a groupie. How can I get my boys to back off without them getting their backs up? -- Caught Up, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR CAUGHT UP: People who work in any way with celebrities often find themselves in your position. Their friends are envious of the experience they are having and really want a way in, if only to glimpse what's going on for a moment.

What you might do is find out if you can buy a block of tickets at a discount for one of these gigs. Ask the artist's manager, the promoter or even the venue. Group sales commonly do that. Make it clear that they will have to buy the tickets, though. Find out if you can arrange a tour of the stage or some other type of insider activity that will give them a look without embarrassing you.

Then shut it down. Explain that you may be able to create a once-in-a-lifetime, but not a continuous, engagement.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going out with a really nice guy for a few months now. We get along well. He is very attentive and seems to come from a nice family. Overall, it feels like a good fit.

He brings me gifts when we see each other, and that's the problem. He usually brings me sweets of some kind, like a cupcake or chocolates. That's very nice and all, but I am diabetic. I haven't told him because I didn't want to talk about health issues so early in a relationship. I feel like me having this condition might make him back off or something, but I have to do something.

I'm sure he notices that I am not eating the sweets that he brings for me. I've been saying that I will save them for later, but it seems wrong to keep dodging the truth. How can I tell him without scaring him off? -- Need to Tell, Chicago

DEAR NEED TO TELL: There is little to no chance for a solid relationship to be built if you are not honest about basic things, and that includes your health. Maybe there's no need to reveal an illness by date three, but you say that you are several months into this relationship. You must tell him.

Start by telling him you have something important to share. Sit down with him and explain that you have not been eating the lovely sweets he gives you because you can't. Tell him you have diabetes, which prohibits you from eating sweets. Reveal that you were skittish about telling him because you didn't want him to worry or to walk away, but because you do like him, you thought it was important to be honest.

Be willing to answer his questions about your disease. Make sure you talk to him about what you are doing to stay healthy. Pay attention to how he reacts. Hopefully he will understand. If not, it's better to know early on that he is not ready to be in a relationship with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In the past year, my mom has lost many of her childhood friends. One lady died of cancer, and then her husband died a few months later. He had been sick for years. A woman from my mom's church had a heart attack. Then one of her high school friends had a car accident. The list goes on. I know we should expect to hear of deaths, given their ages -- my mom is 86, for heaven's sake -- but it doesn't make it any easier to know that they are old. How can I cheer up my mom? She is healthy and I'm worried she will get depressed. -- Mom Booster, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR MOM BOOSTER: One tremendous difficulty in growing old is seeing your loved ones pass. Though inevitable, it is still hard to experience. To help your mother, keep her active. If you have children, make sure she spends time with them. Get her involved in a senior center that includes exercise and activity. Help her design her days so that she is busy with fun experiences. This can help ease her worries simply by keeping her mind and body occupied.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend drinks orange juice straight from the plastic bottle. I find it nasty because I cannot handle the "backwash" that may end up back in the juice. She is OK drinking from the bottle because she "does not have time to drink from a cup." I had no idea that my girlfriend drank straight from the bottle. I think it is rude and selfish behavior, and I would like to know how to get her to stop. -- Grossed Out, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Maybe your girlfriend never thought about the germs that she is inadvertently putting in that plastic bottle. Perhaps nobody pointed that out to her in the past. It is time for you to speak up. Tell your girlfriend that it really bothers you that she drinks straight from the bottle. Offer to bring her a cup the next time you see her about to do it.

You can start by making light of it so that you get your point across without being harsh. Tell her that she deserves to drink from a cup. If she balks at that, be direct and let her know that her practice is unsanitary. Bacteria can leave her mouth and fester in the bottle, thereby contaminating it for anyone else who drinks the juice. Ask her to stop.

Because you know this is her practice, make it clear that in your home she must drink out of a drinking receptacle. Monitor her so that you don't get sick.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a teenage girl, and I have a terrible crush on a boy in my science class. I like everything about him: he dresses nice, he is polite and he loves his parents. I want to tell him how much I admire him, but I do not know what to say. When I am around him, I just giggle and blush. I know if I do not say something to him, someone else will. Can you give me a tip or two to overcome my shyness? -- A Loss for Words, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR A LOSS FOR WORDS: No wonder -- some crushes are so intense that they can leave one feeling debilitated. The good news is that the fast-beating heart and inability to do anything at all usually stop pretty fast!

Rather than professing your like to this young man, just talk to him. Since you are in class together, talk to him about the projects that you are doing right now. Ask him if he would like to study with you. Ask him for help in solving a science problem, and show him what you have come up with. In other words, engage him in dialogue that will allow the two of you to get to know each other. This will help you calm down, get your studies done and build a rapport with him. Don't worry about what others will do. The way for you to build a connection with him is to reach out in a neutral way. Make it easy for the two of you to communicate. Then see what blossoms.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)