DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going out with a really nice guy for a few months now. We get along well. He is very attentive and seems to come from a nice family. Overall, it feels like a good fit.

He brings me gifts when we see each other, and that's the problem. He usually brings me sweets of some kind, like a cupcake or chocolates. That's very nice and all, but I am diabetic. I haven't told him because I didn't want to talk about health issues so early in a relationship. I feel like me having this condition might make him back off or something, but I have to do something.

I'm sure he notices that I am not eating the sweets that he brings for me. I've been saying that I will save them for later, but it seems wrong to keep dodging the truth. How can I tell him without scaring him off? -- Need to Tell, Chicago

DEAR NEED TO TELL: There is little to no chance for a solid relationship to be built if you are not honest about basic things, and that includes your health. Maybe there's no need to reveal an illness by date three, but you say that you are several months into this relationship. You must tell him.

Start by telling him you have something important to share. Sit down with him and explain that you have not been eating the lovely sweets he gives you because you can't. Tell him you have diabetes, which prohibits you from eating sweets. Reveal that you were skittish about telling him because you didn't want him to worry or to walk away, but because you do like him, you thought it was important to be honest.

Be willing to answer his questions about your disease. Make sure you talk to him about what you are doing to stay healthy. Pay attention to how he reacts. Hopefully he will understand. If not, it's better to know early on that he is not ready to be in a relationship with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In the past year, my mom has lost many of her childhood friends. One lady died of cancer, and then her husband died a few months later. He had been sick for years. A woman from my mom's church had a heart attack. Then one of her high school friends had a car accident. The list goes on. I know we should expect to hear of deaths, given their ages -- my mom is 86, for heaven's sake -- but it doesn't make it any easier to know that they are old. How can I cheer up my mom? She is healthy and I'm worried she will get depressed. -- Mom Booster, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR MOM BOOSTER: One tremendous difficulty in growing old is seeing your loved ones pass. Though inevitable, it is still hard to experience. To help your mother, keep her active. If you have children, make sure she spends time with them. Get her involved in a senior center that includes exercise and activity. Help her design her days so that she is busy with fun experiences. This can help ease her worries simply by keeping her mind and body occupied.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend drinks orange juice straight from the plastic bottle. I find it nasty because I cannot handle the "backwash" that may end up back in the juice. She is OK drinking from the bottle because she "does not have time to drink from a cup." I had no idea that my girlfriend drank straight from the bottle. I think it is rude and selfish behavior, and I would like to know how to get her to stop. -- Grossed Out, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR GROSSED OUT: Maybe your girlfriend never thought about the germs that she is inadvertently putting in that plastic bottle. Perhaps nobody pointed that out to her in the past. It is time for you to speak up. Tell your girlfriend that it really bothers you that she drinks straight from the bottle. Offer to bring her a cup the next time you see her about to do it.

You can start by making light of it so that you get your point across without being harsh. Tell her that she deserves to drink from a cup. If she balks at that, be direct and let her know that her practice is unsanitary. Bacteria can leave her mouth and fester in the bottle, thereby contaminating it for anyone else who drinks the juice. Ask her to stop.

Because you know this is her practice, make it clear that in your home she must drink out of a drinking receptacle. Monitor her so that you don't get sick.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a teenage girl, and I have a terrible crush on a boy in my science class. I like everything about him: he dresses nice, he is polite and he loves his parents. I want to tell him how much I admire him, but I do not know what to say. When I am around him, I just giggle and blush. I know if I do not say something to him, someone else will. Can you give me a tip or two to overcome my shyness? -- A Loss for Words, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR A LOSS FOR WORDS: No wonder -- some crushes are so intense that they can leave one feeling debilitated. The good news is that the fast-beating heart and inability to do anything at all usually stop pretty fast!

Rather than professing your like to this young man, just talk to him. Since you are in class together, talk to him about the projects that you are doing right now. Ask him if he would like to study with you. Ask him for help in solving a science problem, and show him what you have come up with. In other words, engage him in dialogue that will allow the two of you to get to know each other. This will help you calm down, get your studies done and build a rapport with him. Don't worry about what others will do. The way for you to build a connection with him is to reach out in a neutral way. Make it easy for the two of you to communicate. Then see what blossoms.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was married to my college sweetheart for 28 years, and she passed away three years ago. I mourned my wife's passing for about a year's time. Recently, I met this beautiful woman, and I am interested in having a meaningful relationship with her. How much time is enough to mourn a loss of a spouse before you decide to start dating again? -- Finding Love, Chicago

DEAR FINDING LOVE: It used to be that people were told not to date until at least a year after a spouse passed away. Indeed, many years ago, widows would wear black for an entire year out of respect for their husbands' passing. Those rules have relaxed considerably in most parts of the country. You would be far beyond that rule, even if it still were in place.

What's more important for you is if you feel emotionally ready to start to date again. Have you done the spiritual work that you need in order to feel strong and clear about yourself and your goals for the future? When you feel whole, you are able to bring a strong potential partner to a new relationship.

If you feel that you want to explore a relationship with this woman, you should be completely honest with her. Talk about your life when you were married and what type of relationship you had with your wife. Talk about what you value in a partnership and what you hope to experience moving forward. Find out what her interests and desires are. By talking openly about who you are and what you want in life, you can learn from each other whether you could be a good fit. Take your time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having hard time finding clothing that fits me. I am a female; I am 6 feet 1 inch tall, and I live in New York City. You would think living in the greatest city in the world, there would be more stores to my choosing; however, that is not the case, and I could find only one. I wear sizes 8 through 12, depending on the cut. Can you recommend places where I can shop? -- Tall Girl Shopping Woes, New York City

DEAR TALL GIRL SHOPPING WOES: Even in New York City, it can be challenging to find sizes that live outside the norm. But some stores do carry tall sizes, either in store or on their websites. These include Talbots, J. Crew and department stores such as Macy's, Bloomingdale's and Saks Fifth Avenue.

I would recommend that you make the Internet your friend. There are many options where you can order clothing and send it back if it doesn't fit, and then it doesn't matter where the origin of the clothing is. A store in New York that also has a website is longtallsally.com. Many traditional clothing stores also carry tall online, including Just My Size, Loft, Old Navy, Gap and Banana Republic. Good luck to you!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)