DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going out with a really nice guy for a few months now. We get along well. He is very attentive and seems to come from a nice family. Overall, it feels like a good fit.
He brings me gifts when we see each other, and that's the problem. He usually brings me sweets of some kind, like a cupcake or chocolates. That's very nice and all, but I am diabetic. I haven't told him because I didn't want to talk about health issues so early in a relationship. I feel like me having this condition might make him back off or something, but I have to do something.
I'm sure he notices that I am not eating the sweets that he brings for me. I've been saying that I will save them for later, but it seems wrong to keep dodging the truth. How can I tell him without scaring him off? -- Need to Tell, Chicago
DEAR NEED TO TELL: There is little to no chance for a solid relationship to be built if you are not honest about basic things, and that includes your health. Maybe there's no need to reveal an illness by date three, but you say that you are several months into this relationship. You must tell him.
Start by telling him you have something important to share. Sit down with him and explain that you have not been eating the lovely sweets he gives you because you can't. Tell him you have diabetes, which prohibits you from eating sweets. Reveal that you were skittish about telling him because you didn't want him to worry or to walk away, but because you do like him, you thought it was important to be honest.
Be willing to answer his questions about your disease. Make sure you talk to him about what you are doing to stay healthy. Pay attention to how he reacts. Hopefully he will understand. If not, it's better to know early on that he is not ready to be in a relationship with you.