DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine wanted to give me a tie as a gift, but I did not accept it because of the design. She was taken aback because of my answer, and I think I hurt her feelings in the process. Do you think I am a snob because I did not like the style of the tie? -- Fashion Forward, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FASHION FORWARD: I think you were incredibly insensitive to your friend. What was important was that she wanted to give you a gift. You could have accepted the gift, thanked her for it and let that be that. Later, if she were to ask you why you haven't worn the tie, you could then tell her that as much as you appreciate her thoughtfulness and generosity, the tie was not really your style. A delayed reality check would at least have afforded her the opportunity to know fully that you appreciate her thinking of you and wanting to give you something.

In this case, you may want to double back to her to apologize for not being sensitive to her feelings. Remind her of your gratitude for her good intentions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am taking 16 credits this semester, and my professors suggest that I should devote 10 hours a week per class toward studying. That is 40 hours a week, and I do not have that amount of free time on my hands. I also have a full-time job. What are some ways that I can maximize my study time while still being engaged with my prior commitments? -- Too Many Irons in the Fire, Memphis, Tennessee

DEAR TOO MANY IRONS IN THE FIRE: Block out your time hour-by-hour so that you know exactly what your responsibilities are from moment to moment. You have to become an expert at being fully present in each moment so that you can fulfill the duties at hand. In other words, when it is time to work, you work with complete focus. When it's time to study, do that with singular focus.

From an overview perspective, look carefully to see if you can carve out the 10 hours per class needed by getting up earlier or staying up later. If you cannot figure out how to find the time, you may either want to reduce your work hours or reduce your credit load. What you don't want to have happen is that you fail at both work and school because you are spreading yourself too thin.

Be strategic about your plans so that you figure out how to win. This may require you to talk to your boss upfront to explain your situation and ask for support. If you don't want to lose your job, you should ask if you can renegotiate hours during this semester. Being proactive will likely be inspiring to your boss, and if there is a way for your boss to be supportive, chances are that you will get that help.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: School has started, and I am worried sick. I know there's always a chance that children can and do catch germs from one another, but this year seems worse than ever. Is there a way that I can ensure my child remains healthy this school semester? I am concerned about the enterovirus D68 (EV-D68) cold virus that is spreading around the country. How can I protect my children? -- Cautious Mom, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR CAUTIOUS MOM: You have every right to be worried. This virus, which was discovered back in the 1960s, has shown up this year in 22 states with about 160 people diagnosed with the illness, according to the Centers for Disease Control. It is an illness that affects the respiratory system, so children (and adults) who suffer from asthma or other illnesses that compromise the respiratory system are being advised to be particularly cautious.

In general, the measures being recommended to reduce one's likelihood of contracting this disease are the very things we are advised to do anyway: Wash your hands in warm, soapy water for at least 20 seconds; avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth with unwashed hands; and avoid kissing, hugging and sharing cups or eating utensils with sick people. I would add that you should tell your children never to eat other children's food. Stay in touch with their teachers so that you are aware if other children are getting sick.

For more information from the Centers for Disease Control, visit cdc.gov/non-polio-enterovirus/about/ev-d68.html.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so embarrassed. I was at a business function and saw a number of people. When I reached out to shake hands and introduce myself, several of them immediately said that we had previously met. They seemed to be indignant that I did not remember them or their names. I admit that I meet a lot of people and do not always remember everyone. How can I do a better job of acknowledging people so that they aren't insulted if I don't really remember them? -- Wanting to Please, Syracuse, New York

DEAR WANTING TO PLEASE: I often do not remember people's names and sometimes do not remember that I met people in the first place. Over the years, I realized that what people want most is to be seen and acknowledged. So I generally greet people by warmly saying hello, saying it is lovely to see them and stating my name. Even if they have met me before, I think that is wise, because people do not always remember names. If I am unsure of their name, I may ask, "Would you remind me of your name?" In that way, I am not being rude, but I am letting them know that I very much want to know who they are.

Now, if you do that on more than one occasion with the same person, chances are the person will be a bit miffed. Because I know my propensity to forget names, I do my best to help others know who I am. I do not take it personally if they need a refresher. If you are kind and welcoming, you create space for them to be kind as well.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I married a man after only knowing him for one month! We met in May 2012, and we got married in June 2012. It was a lot of fun at first, but lately I don't like being married to him at all. After only two years, I am ready to call it quits, but deep down I want to save my marriage. Do you have any tips on how I can do that? -- Ran to the Altar, Chicago

DEAR RAN TO THE ALTAR: You two need to slow down, look each other in the face and talk openly about your relationship. Clearly, something attracted you to each other enough for you to take the leap to formalize your commitment. Revisit those early days. What was it that you liked about him? Ask him what he liked about you.

Next, look at how you have lived your life. Did you make a plan for what you wanted to do together? Did you have an idea of how you wanted your marriage to unfold? Many people do not, and then somewhere along the way, they figure out that they need to set an intention together for the future. Before you throw in the proverbial towel, talk to your husband about what you think is not working, and ask him if he is willing to work with you to strengthen your bond. Give yourselves a chance to consciously build your marriage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I drink an alcoholic beverage about four times a year. I am scared because I feel like I may binge the next time I drink. I do not want that to happen to me because I do not like the feeling of being drunk. What can I do to ensure I will not fall off the wagon in the future? -- Cautious Drinker, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR CAUTIOUS DRINKER: Ask yourself the tough questions. Why do you drink so infrequently? Is it because you do not really like to drink, or is it because you are afraid that you cannot control your drinking? If it is the latter, you are better off just not drinking at all. Clearly, you have the ability to resist the temptation to drink, given how infrequently you do it. You may just want to commit to the notion of not including alcoholic beverages on your consumption list.

If you do not think it is a problem, you can avoid getting drunk by eating before drinking and limiting your alcoholic intake to one or two drinks. People tend to get drunk when they don't monitor their consumption. Being cautious is wise.

A few ways to practice being cautious when you are at a social function include: getting hydrated before you arrive at the event, drinking water in between drinks, staying away from the bar, talking to people in other areas of the room and not accepting a drink when offered. If you do not want to drink at all, you can let your friends know that you will be the designated driver for the evening. That will prompt them not to offer you drinks.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)