DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that one of my neighbors is about to be evicted. She and her family have lived in my building for generations. They are among the few who are left of the old guard, so to speak. I don't know what happened to make it so they haven't been able to pay their rent, nor is it my business. But if it is really true, I feel like I want to reach out to the family matriarch and see how she's doing. I don't know how much they owe, but I wish I could do something to help. How can I approach her without offending her? -- Reaching Out, Bronx, New York

DEAR REACHING OUT: You have to be careful here, because this woman's business is not yours. Plus, you may not have the resources to help her. If she really is being evicted in New York City, where the laws generously favor the tenant, it is likely that she owes a significant amount of money.

You can approach your neighbor by saying you wanted to check in on her to see how she's doing. Inquire about her and her family. Tell her you have been thinking about her and wanted to let her know that she is on your mind. Listen to what she has to say. There's a good chance she won't mention eviction. If she doesn't, you should not either. Just be present and kind to her. Let her take it from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my employees is way too talkative. He comes to work with a pleasant attitude, which I appreciate. But he also comes with stories, and for the first half-hour or so, he feels compelled to chat up whoever is around him. I recognize the need for some social interaction on the job, but we are a small firm and we have a ton of work to do. How can I curb his chattiness without dashing his spirits? -- Put a Plug in It, Detroit

DEAR PUT A PLUG IN IT: This fellow probably considers himself a leader. He prides himself on having a good attitude and connecting with the team. Draw on that aspect of his personality. Meet privately with him and thank him for his positive attitude. Point out that you consider him a strong presence on your team and that you believe other team members often follow his lead. To that end, tell him that you need him to manage his storytelling to ensure that everybody gets to work more quickly. Let him know that you have noticed that he enjoys sharing stories of his life, and that's OK for about five minutes. After that, you need him to direct the conversation to work-related topics. Tell him he can be a tremendous help to you in upping the group's productivity because he is a leader in your organization. Invite him to help you get the team to work.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a small party in my building and had a great time visiting with neighbors. As I left, I saw another neighbor coming into our building, and she immediately wanted to know where I had been and what I had been doing. I attempted to dodge her questions because she knows the host of the party, and I figured she would be hurt that she wasn't invited -- even though it was a small party and it was his choice not to invite her. She figured it out and asked me for his phone number so that she could call him and curse him out. I did not give it to her, and she got really mad. What should I have done differently in that situation? -- In a Pickle, Washington, D.C.

DEAR IN A PICKLE: The general rule is to enjoy yourself wherever you go and keep the experience to yourself. This is true for the very reason that you just experienced. Of course, people have the right to invite whomever they choose to their parties. But it is also common for others to get their feelings hurt if they feel left out.

In this situation, you could have not acknowledged where you had been. Even though your uninvited neighbor was prying, you did not have to divulge your whereabouts. You could have remained evasive. Then she could only guess as to whether your mutual friend had indeed hosted a party.

To the neighbor who felt slighted, I would add that she should not take things so personally. As an adult, she should know that people have the authority to choose who comes to their homes, just as she does. Not choosing her this time does not mean she is not liked. It means she was not invited this time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event where there were a lot of young children, and the moms talked a lot about caring for kids. It was a lot of fun. I noticed, however, that one of the women there was sitting off to the side. I went over to her to chat. I asked her if she would like to join the conversation on the other side of the room, and she declined. She is not a mother and said it made her uncomfortable. I stayed and talked to her for a while before going back to the group where I had been. I saw that she pretty much kept to herself all evening, even after the conversation changed and people moved around. How could we have made this woman feel more welcome? -- Observant Partygoer, Chicago

DEAR OBSERVANT PARTYGOER: You did the right thing by going over to check on the guest who was by herself. Talking to her and welcoming her into your friend group was thoughtful. It may be that she is shy. Some people find it difficult to join conversations or mingle in a group of strangers. She may have sensitivity to not being a mother.

It would be impossible for you to know why she was somewhat reclusive. You did the right thing. Others could have reached out to her as well throughout the evening, too.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am getting sick of social media. People who I have never heard of ask if they can be my friend. Why would I want to be friends with them? Then all these people invite me to join them in online games that I do not want to play. That didn't happen at first. When I got on Facebook initially, I enjoyed catching up with old friends from high school and college and from my hometown, but now it feels almost like work. There are too many people's feelings to manage. How can I keep talking to the ones I want to and get rid of the rest? -- Media Crazy, Washington, D.C.

DEAR MEDIA CRAZY: The good news about using social media is that you remain in control of what you can and cannot do and with whom you engage. You can change your settings on Facebook, for example, to allow only a limited number of people to see your page or communicate with you. You can set it up so that no one can post on your page. You can delete people if you do not want to be connected to them anymore.

It could seem harsh to unfriend people, but you can if you want to. You can also choose not to respond to the people with the annoying game nudges. You do not have to talk to people when they message you. What you must remember is that you are in charge of yourself and the way that your social media pages are used. As long as you keep that fact top of mind, it will be easier for you to notice the activity on your page without getting absorbed in the drama of it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband of two years likes to buy me clothes. He is really into fashion and gets a lot of pleasure out of buying stuff for me. The thing is, I hardly ever like what he buys. Seriously, we do not have the same taste. I tried liking what he buys me, but it never works. I appreciate my husband wanting to do this for me, but I do not want him to waste any more money. How can I get him to either understand my style or stop buying me stuff? -- Out of Style, Milwaukee

DEAR OUT OF STYLE: It's wonderful that your husband wants to buy you clothing, and it's normal that so early in your marriage he isn't getting your style quite right. You do want to be careful not to hurt his feelings as you educate him. One way to do so is to suggest that the two of you go shopping together. Make a date of going to one of your favorite stores. Try on a range of clothing that you like and show him each look. Tell him why you like the items you have selected. Model for him so that he can see you in the outfits. When you are finished, invite him to purchase one of your favorite outfits for you!

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)