DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who speaks so loudly on the phone that it is hard to concentrate on my work. I think she needs a hearing aid or something. We work in cubicles, so it's an open-air situation. I cannot keep my concentration, though. It's as if she is screaming. Several people have asked her to tone it down, but she shrugs us off. I'm not kidding when I say I think she has a hearing problem. Even though she's not old, that has to be the problem. My brother-in-law has hearing aids, and he's in his 40s. He said his hearing loss came from listening to too much loud music. Anyway, what can I do or say to get her to understand she's too loud? -- Driving Me Crazy, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR DRIVING ME CRAZY: If you are friendly with your co-worker, you could tell her about your brother-in-law. Having an example to illustrate something that you think is going on with a person can be illuminating.

Shy of that, go to your supervisor and explain what is going on. Ask if it's possible for you to move farther away from this person or if she might be able to be moved into a room with a door. Ask your supervisor to speak to her about the volume of her conversation. If nothing changes, get permission to wear noise-canceling headphones in the office. By listening to music at a low volume, you may be able to tune out your co-worker's loud voice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend at work who often asks me to borrow a few dollars. He always returns it, so I haven't thought much of it. But the other day when he asked to borrow something like $20, I didn't have any cash on me, so I told him I couldn't help him out. He got really mad. He asked me to go to the ATM to get the money because he really needed it. I was busy and said I could not do that. It got me to thinking: I wonder what he needs these small sums for all the time. I have decided I don't want to be part of it, but I'm not sure how to handle it so that he stays calm. Help! -- Off the Dole, Detroit

DEAR OFF THE DOLE: Pull your friend to the side and tell him you need to talk. Ask him why he regularly asks you for money. Ask him if everything is OK with him and his life. Express your genuine concern, then draw the line. Tell him that you will no longer be able to spot him money. Explain that it makes you uncomfortable and you would rather not have that type of relationship with him. State any regret that this change in your dynamic may cause, but make it crystal-clear to him that you will no longer be a source of money.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I got fitness bracelets and connected to each other to keep ourselves motivated. It's weird, but it is working. If I see that she is out there stepping, I definitely feel like I had better get up off my butt and do something. In that way, it is good. She and I have always been close and encouraging of one another. We don't have that sibling rivalry stuff going on. On the other hand, it feels like one more way for me to be competitive in my life. When I'm at work, I feel like I am constantly trying to prove myself to somebody, and the pressure is intense. While I do want to get fit, I am beginning to feel like this whole tracking thing is going to make me nuts. How can I stay the course without feeling overwhelmed? -- Keep It Together, Cincinnati

DEAR KEEP IT TOGETHER: Rather than thinking of your fitness tracking alongside your sister as competition, consider it as inspiration. You want to be healthy and fit, so it is smart that you have chosen a means to keep you interested in taking care of yourself on a daily basis.

Since you and your sister are close, talk to her about your feelings. Express your desire to keep up your fitness regimen and to track with her, but admit that it feels like too much to handle sometimes. Having a workout buddy you can talk to can be incredibly helpful in staying the course. Finally, you don't have to look at what she is doing all the time. Just do you. Your body will thank you for it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My company was just sold, and the new owner seems like he could be an OK guy. Some people in the media don't like him, but the buzz around the office so far is cool. I'm supposed to have a meeting with him in the next few days. One of my friends says I should be ready for my walking papers because I've been there a long time and my salary is high. I don't want to think like that. I want to go in there and wow him. What can I do to help preserve my job? -- Staking a Claim, Washington, D.C.

DEAR STAKING A CLAIM: The sale of a company does not automatically lead to a bloodbath at the office. That largely depends on the financial health of the company when it is purchased. The way to make yourself the most appealing to your new boss is to be prepared. Do some research on him and his company so that you can speak intelligently about his background. Know your company inside and out, at least your area. Present yourself in the most capable terms. Talk to him about what strengths you bring to your job, your level of expertise and your ability to be a team player. Paint an accurate and positive picture of your value for the company and your interest in being part of his team.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A female friend invited me to join her when she goes to her hot yoga classes. I think I am going to join her because she is cute and I have an interest in her. This will be my first time doing any kind of yoga. Do you have any suggestions on how I can survive my first hot yoga workout without embarrassing myself in the process? I am a big guy. I have lost quite a bit of weight in the past few months, but I have at least 100 pounds to go. I'm not sure I can twist into some of those positions. -- A Fool for Love, Bronx New York

DEAR A FOOL FOR LOVE: You won't be the first person to explore new experiences because of a love interest. Theoretically, there's nothing wrong with your choice to go to this class. On the other hand, because the class features a room with very high temperatures and an activity that is foreign to you, you need to be careful.

If at all possible, start by checking in with your doctor to make sure that it is safe for you to go to this class. Especially considering that you are overweight, you want to be comfortable knowing that you are healthy enough to stand the heat -- literally. Then find out if the class she is attending includes beginners. If so, you can speak to the teacher before class begins to explain that this will be your first lesson, so you may need to modify what you do.

Ultimately, if it seems like this class may be too much for you, why not offer to pick her up after class and go out for a (healthy) bite to eat?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad's birthday is coming up, and it's a big one. He has never been one to want a huge party, but considering that he will be making it to a milestone, my siblings and I want to make sure that we do something really special for him. We've been talking about planning a surprise party where we invite all of his buddies going back all the way to his childhood, since there are still a few of them left. But we aren't sure if that's the way to go. What do you suggest we do to celebrate our dad? -- Time to Party, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR TIME TO PARTY: Go directly to the source. Ask your dad what he would like to do to celebrate his birthday. Tell him that you and your siblings have been considering a range of ideas but want to make sure that you do something for him that will make him happy in honor of his big day. Listen carefully when he tells you his ideas. Be prepared for him to want something very different from what you have considered.

Out of respect for him, hear his thoughts and then do your best to follow them as precisely as you can, even if that means you do something really simple like a small family dinner. Let your father's interests guide you.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)