DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently invited to an engagement party and wedding. I have known the couple for a while now, and I would like to attend their wedding. But there's one problem, I am not able to give them a gift at this time. Do I decline their invitations? Or do I tell them about my financial situation? -- The Reception, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR THE RECEPTION: I have great news for you! It is considered appropriate for a wedding guest to give a gift to the newly married couple any time within the first year. While many people do give right away, you have that space of time if you need it.

You may also want to get creative with your gift. Some friends choose to give loved ones an IOU for a homemade dinner at a later date. Others have offered creative services that are specific to their skills and of value to the newlyweds. This could include anything from landscaping support to dog walking. You can make a great experience for them that does not have to be cost prohibitive.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who constantly complains about pretty much everything. She is currently focused on work. She runs a not-for-profit, and she says that her staff is inept. She is endlessly talking about each of these people horribly. I get that people can do a bad job, but if that really is the case, she should fire them. Whenever I say that, she gets mad and me and says she can't. I have no more support for her. I do not work in human resources, and I am tired of listening to all the negative stories. How can I get her to stop? If she keeps it up, I won't be able to stay in touch with her. -- Line in the Sand, Detroit

DEAR LINE IN THE SAND: People who have the habit of complaining easily get caught up in the energy of the complaint and can find it close to impossible to break free. This can often be true even when the complaints reflect negatively in their work and their social relationships. This seems to be the case with your friend. What is interesting is that managers can make smarter decisions when they view their staff holistically as opposed to through a negative lens.

Bringing this back to you, I suggest that you tell your friend that you are not an expert in her field. Recommend that she ask for support from her human resources department or from a mentor in your business who may be able to give her perspective on how to support her team. Meanwhile, you can also stop her when she brings up these people in the future. Tell her that you cannot help her with her situation. Ask her not to discuss it with you anymore. If she continues, you have to be ready to walk away. You may ultimately need to separate yourself from her for a while. To protect yourself, you should limit your interaction with extremely negative people.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am single mother of four, and my 15-year-old is out of control. He lives with my mother, has been arrested twice in the past year and is currently on probation for a year. My mother does not discipline him, nor does she make him do any chores. He is hanging out with the wrong crowd, and every time he gets into trouble I am the one who comes to his rescue. I am getting tired because I have three other children who need my attention. I need my mother to help me raise my son because I really need help with him. Please help. -- Confused and Worried Mom, Mineral Wells, Texas

DEAR CONFUSED AND WORRIED MOM: You have gotten yourself into an unmanageable situation for which you are responsible. After all, you are the mom of all of these children. Since your mother is not helping enough based on your son's needs, you have to make a shift. Find out if your mother would feel more comfortable helping you take care of one or more of your other children. Perhaps they are less volatile and would be easier for her to manage.

I recommend that you talk honestly with your mother about your predicament. Recommend that you swap your son for other children for the time being, and then bring your son home so that you can actively parent him. Use every moment that you can to talk to him about his choices and encourage him to make smarter ones. Do your best to enroll him in activities that will keep him off the street and away from any bad influences.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't like my friend's boyfriend because he and I were briefly romantically involved several years ago, and it did not end well. She keeps gushing about him and telling me intimate details of their relationship and sex life. I'm happy that she's happy, and I would love to hear all about their romance if the guy was anyone else. Is there any way that I can indicate that I don't want to hear all of the dirty details of their relationship without coming off as unsupportive or jealous? -- Hard to Cosign, Denver

DEAR HARD TO COSIGN: First of all, you do not have to listen to intimate details of anybody's sex life, even if the person is your best friend. Some information should be private. I am going to assume that your friend does not know that you once dated her guy. You do not necessarily have to tell her, especially since it is long over. You should not spoil her fun, either, by being a Debbie Downer.

You can either change the subject when she goes into romantic details, making it impossible for her to go on and on, or directly tell her that you do not want to hear so much detail. Suggest that she save some of her stories for just the two of them.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends can be inconsiderate sometimes. I'll text him about meeting up a few days in advance, and he tells me he will get back to me but never does. I'm going away on a trip in a couple of days, and I won't be able to see him before he leaves for college. I'm annoyed that he didn't get back to me about saying goodbye but still had the time to randomly follow me on Instagram. How can I address this issue with him without seeming overdramatic? -- Longing for My Friend, Westchester, New York

DEAR LONGING FOR MY FRIEND: You are witnessing a terrible downside to social media. In the company of one's own personal space on one's own time, a person can engage others -- sort of -- by the click of a button without having to take the time to actually communicate one-on-one. Social media can be useful, but when it turns into what can seem like either a distraction much like a video game or a substitute for human interaction, it can turn into a problem.

People still want personal engagement. What you may want to do is use social media to make that point to your friend. Tell him via Instagram that you miss him and that your feelings are hurt that he has been MIA. This may be the way he hears right now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I are three years apart. It wouldn't make that much of a difference usually, but we started dating when she was a freshman in high school and I was a senior. Neither of us had a problem with it, and it has always been legal, but we waited to introduce her to my dad until she was 18 since he had a problem with her being younger. He met her recently and was very nice to her, but when she left, he told me that I'm a pedophile and that she should break up with me. I thought that this was very harsh, and it hurts to know that that's how my dad thinks of me. How can I bring this up with him and explain to him how rude that was to say? -- Wanting Dad's Blessing, Chicago

DEAR WANTING DAD'S BLESSING: Your father's concern is legitimate. You say that your relationship has always been legal. That depends upon the nature of your engagement. Illinois law allows consent for sexual activity at age 17. If you and your girlfriend were intimate before she turned 17, you could be accused of statutory rape -- even after the fact. This is why he made the statement he did. If her parents were against your relationship, you could have a big issue on your hands, regardless of how sincere you may be.

If you and your girlfriend truly love each other and want to see if you can create a relationship, you need to slow down. You may also want to talk to your father about your feelings and ask for his support in navigating this situation so that everyone is safe and at ease.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)