DEAR HARRIETTE: It seems like everybody in my son's class has gone on vacation -- except for us. Both my husband and I have had to work each week of the summer, and we really could not afford to take a big trip. My son has had fun with his friends, but that is different from having a great story of adventure that's outside of what we do all the time. What can I do to make sure he has some good memories before school starts? -- Getting Creative, Bay City, Michigan

DEAR GETTING CREATIVE: Look in your local paper to learn about free activities in your town. Sometimes there are free live concerts that families can attend. Local museums may have free children's workshops. Do some digging to see what is happening. Then schedule it and make a big deal about the fact that your family is going to do this together.

You may also want to think about going away for a day or over a two-day weekend. It doesn't have to be far. You can find a nearby amusement park that your son would enjoy. Or look for a nature park you can explore together. Being with your son and doing something out of the ordinary are the most important things. Make sure he knows that you value this time together and that you want to have quality family time -- it will help him put his experience into context without feeling bad about not doing what his friends have done over the summer.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a former intern who reached out to me recently to ask if I would give her a recommendation for a job. The job she wants to get is one that I seriously doubt she can do. She was not attentive while she worked with me, she wasn't a strong writer and she was a poor communicator. The job she applied for is in the communications field. I do not want to badmouth this young lady, but at the same time, I do not want to lie. If I misrepresent her, she will likely fail in the job, and my credibility will come into question. How should I handle this? -- Wanting to Help, Grand Rapids, Michigan

DEAR WANTING TO HELP: Contact your intern directly and request a meeting -- face-to-face if possible. Be honest with her: Tell her that during her tenure with you, she did not demonstrate skills that would suggest that she would be proficient at the job in question. Ask her what she has done since then to strengthen her abilities. Ask her if she has worked for anyone who can vouch for her in this capacity. That person should be her reference.

Tell her that you care about her and her well-being. To that end, you cannot, in good conscience, recommend her for something for which you believe she is unprepared. If you can, suggest a line of work for which she may be better suited.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Have you heard about this coconut water craze? Well, my boyfriend is into it big time! Whenever we go to a restaurant or to the grocery store, that's all he wants to buy. I have read the labels of a few of the brands and see that it is probably pretty healthy. But I don't like it at all; it tastes like dirty water to me. And I don't want to be forced to try to like it, either. I keep telling my boyfriend that it's fine by me if he drinks it, but leave me to my real water. He thinks I'm not adventurous or healthy enough. I find both of those views insulting. How can I get him to relax on this subject? -- Anti-Trend, Rochester, New York

DEAR ANTI-TREND: It is funny how trends can take over people's lives, sometimes for the better, often not. In the case of coconut water, my research does suggest -- as you have learned -- that it can be a healthy beverage alternative. My husband, who is Jamaican, first introduced me to it when we were in Jamaica and I had a stomachache. On the street, vendors sell what's known as water coconuts that are cracked open, and you drink the liquid inside. It instantly calmed my stomach, and I became a fan. That experience is quite different from drinking something packaged in a plastic bottle.

No matter what, you have the right to drink what you want. You tried it. Ask your boyfriend to give you credit for that. You also want to drink water as opposed to carbonated beverages, alcohol or sweet drinks -- another feather in your cap. Point out to your guy that you both are putting healthy liquids in your bodies. Ask him to call a truce!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working out like a madwoman these past few months, and it is beginning to show. I feel healthier, and my clothes are fitting better. Many of my friends are encouraging, but I ran into one woman I've known for a long time, and when she saw me, she said, "Wow, you sure have gained a lot of weight!" I had not seen her in a few years, so maybe I am bigger than when we were last together, but I thought that was just plain mean. All of my hard work meant nothing to her. How can I stay upbeat when stuff like that happens? -- On Track, Gallup, New Mexico

DEAR ON TRACK: You cannot let anyone deflate you. You have to keep your focus on the good work you are doing to get healthy. If someone says something rude to you, you can either ignore the person or stand up for yourself. You could have said, "Actually, I have been on a serious exercise plan, and I'm getting fit!" But honestly, turning away from naysayers and turning to yourself to do everything you can to nurture good health is the best way to spend your time and energy. Keep going for it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 17-year-old high school student, and my favorite teacher is going to Tennessee to start a new school. I am going to miss him because he is funny and charismatic. We have an average student-teacher relationship, but I still would like to stay in contact with him and see how he is doing. Is there a way I can communicate with my favorite teacher to show him that I miss him and not get in trouble in the process? -- Missing My Mentor, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR MISSING MY MENTOR: There should be no reason for you to get in trouble for simply wanting to stay in touch with a former teacher. If you truly value him as a mentor, reach out to him and say as much. Tell him that you would like to stay in touch: You want to learn about his new school, and you would like to be able to share with him what your experiences are as you finish high school and go to college.

Be clear about your intentions before you reach out to him, though. Establishing a mentor-mentee relationship can be wonderful if both parties agree to it. If you want this teacher's ongoing input in your life, you can gently ask and see if he shares your interest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-wife and I have been divorced for five years, and she has since remarried. We have a 13-year-old son from our former union. My son wants me to help purchase gifts for his mother for her birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas. I have asked my son if he talks to his stepfather about this, and he says no. I feel it is not my duty to do this, and I believe her current husband should be responsible for this task. I am not comfortable with giving my ex-wife any "special" gifts. What should I tell my son when he sees no gifts from his dad? -- Under New Management, Salt Lake City

DEAR UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT: It does not sound like your son is asking you to help him purchase a gift that would be from him and either his stepfather or from you. If he is asking for your input to help learn how to buy gifts for his mother from him, that is a completely different story. Sure, it would be great if he could cultivate that type of relationship with his stepfather, and that may happen over time. You can even recommend that he ask his stepfather to serve in that capacity.

If the stepfather does not agree or your son is not ready to make such a request, I think it is fine for you to teach your child how to be a thoughtful gift giver. Help him select gifts that would be appropriate for him to give his mother. The gifts should not reflect memories from your past or anything else that indicates your hand in the selection process. Instead, make the experience of helping your son a way for you to guide him in the art of thoughtfulness.