life

Teen Scared to Drive After Accident

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 11th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 16 and learning how to drive. About a year ago, he was involved in a golf cart accident that was really traumatizing for him. He was with his friend, driving a golf cart when he did not even have a permit. The golf cart was on a bumpy road. He lost control, and it fell on top of him. Since then, he has been hesitant to drive because he was injured in the accident -- he broke his nose, sprained his ankle and was badly bruised and scarred. My husband and I are trying to teach him how to drive and let him know that he won't be injured, but he is afraid. How should we tell him that driving will not be as bad as he thinks? -- Skittish, Westchester, New York

DEAR SKITTISH: Your son has a legitimate reason to be afraid of driving. He suffered the repercussions of driving without proper training and had to pay significant consequences for it. You cannot prove to him that he will always be safe or free from harm in a car, because you don't know that. What you can do is to get him prepared so that he has all of the tools needed to succeed as a driver.

Preparation includes getting him therapy so that he can talk about the emotional effects that his golf cart accident had on him. He should talk through the experience with a professional and consider how he can heal from that trauma as fully as possible. He also needs formal driving lessons. It would be better if you were not the teachers. You mean well, but he would probably do better going to a professional driving school where he learns every detail about driving from an expert. This should help him relax and realize that one accident does not automatically trigger another.

TeensHealth & SafetyFamily & Parenting
life

Teen Needs To Return Party Dress

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 11th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a month ago, my friend needed to borrow a dress for a lavish party that she was attending. I agreed to lend her a dress because I thought that she would give it back right after the event after having it cleaned. We are both in high school, so we don't have much money. I thought I was being a good friend. I have asked her several times since the event if I could have my dress back, and she says that she will give it back, but she has not done so yet. The other day, I saw a picture of her on Facebook wearing my dress again to another event. I really want that dress back, but I feel like she will never give it back to me. What should I do? -- Played, Orlando, Florida

DEAR PLAYED: It is beyond rude for your friend to borrow, wear, rewear and not return your dress. Now may be the time to give her a stronger hint. Click "like" on the photo of her in your dress and add a comment saying: "You look great in my dress. I can't wait to wear it again. Can I pick it up today?" Something like that should get the message across.

Etiquette & EthicsFriends & Neighbors
life

High School Junior Needs Fun in Her Life

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 9th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is a junior in high school. Her school is very competitive and time-consuming, but is one of the best public high schools in the country. She gets home and does her work, but with her extracurriculars and other commitments, she barely has any free time. She is constantly stressed out about her homework, tests and quizzes, essays or projects, and she sleeps only about four to five hours a night. In addition to all the work from school that she has, she is worried about college and the SAT. I have tried to talk to her about stress management and that everything will be OK in the end, but she barely has time to talk to me, and doesn't listen. Is there any way I can make my daughter less stressed or try to help to her with her work? -- On Her Last Study Session, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR ON HER LAST STUDY SESSION: Rather than talking about stress, which can easily lead to more stress, carve out small bits of time to do something fun, like go for a walk, go to the beach or take in a movie.

Yes, your daughter's schedule is tight, but adding exercise and fun to it here and there will help to keep her spirits up, her blood pressure low and her love of life higher.

Family & ParentingWork & SchoolTeens
life

Reader Can't Get Second Interview

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 9th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost my job about six months ago, and I have recently been trying to find a new one. Before I lost my job, I was in business and worked there for 20 years. I really need a job to help support my family and my young kids. My wife works, but I was always the primary supporter of the family. My kids do not realize what happened, but all they do know is that they cannot have all the toys that they used to. I have applied for a few different positions, and have even gotten interviews with some of the companies, but after the interview, they never call me back. I thought I was doing a good job -- I dressed appropriately, and I have a lot of experience. How can I present myself in a way that makes companies want to hire me? -- Need a Job, Jacksonville, Florida

DEAR NEED A JOB: Follow up with the potential employers and human resources executives with whom you have met. Ask if they would be willing to tell you why they did not hire you. Explain that you are interested in doing your best to present yourself effectively so that future employers will see the capable person you consider yourself to be. Be persistent about this. If you can get real feedback from individuals who have interviewed you, you will be able to look more closely at what you are doing right or wrong.

Other than that, don't stop looking. The job market is slowing opening up, and there very well may be a position available for you. Keep your eyes open so that you can see it when it crosses your path.

Work & SchoolMoney
life

Petty Argument Ruins Friendship

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 8th, 2014 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two of my best friends got into a petty fight last year while they were playing tennis. One of them got hurt, and the other tried to tell her to sit out of the game so she could feel better. She apologized after she realized what she said, but the other still hasn't forgiven her. This became a big problem for our friend group. After the fight began, they both lost a lot of friends when people started taking sides. The fight continued throughout the whole year, despite every effort to try to get them to be civil with each other. We realize that they cannot be friends again, but is there a way that we can get them to talk with each other? -- No Longer Friends, Detroit

DEAR NO LONGER FRIENDS: One day your friends may wake up and realize that their fight was virtually meaningless. Naturally, when in the heat of the moment, especially a competitive one like the middle of a tennis game, tempers flare up quickly. The reason they have stayed flared is because they exposed their conflict to a larger group. Oddly, what we do when we are upset is to create our own little battlegrounds, just like those that are created in the Middle East and elsewhere that conflicts run high. We get people to side with us, and then friction builds and builds until an explosive situation often replaces pure tension.

Until everyone is thinking with a cooler head, it is unlikely that these people will see the folly of their ways. But for anyone who does see how hurtful the aftermath of this unfortunate incident has been on your friend group, you can speak up. You can say you are sorry that the argument got out of hand and festered the way it did and that you, for one, want your friends back. You can ask others if they would like to bury the proverbial hatchet and rekindle your bond. As soon as you get one to say yes, work on that relationship as you look to add others, including the initial instigators.

Friends & Neighbors
life

New Freshmen Want To Stay Connected

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 8th, 2014 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I are in our last year of high school, and we have gotten very close. We have made the most of this year, but reality has just hit us that next year we will not be together anymore. We are all going to different schools across the country and even around the world. We really want to try to remain friends, but we do not know the best way to do so. We will all be doing our own thing in different time zones, so it might be hard to keep in touch. Is there an effective way to maintain our friendships while we are all busy? -- On Our Way, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR ON OUR WAY: You are all about to embark upon one of the greatest transition moments in your life. As friends, some of you will likely stay close, while others may not. With the intention of keeping your bond alive, you can suggest that you video chat once a month, that you continue to text regularly and that you come back home at least once a year and make sure to see friends when you see family. Then watch it play out. Trust that everything will work out for the best.

TeensFriends & Neighbors

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Last Word in Astrology for May 28, 2023
  • Last Word in Astrology for May 27, 2023
  • Last Word in Astrology for May 26, 2023
  • Woman Fails to Act Her Age According to Son and DIL
  • Brothers’ Rivalry Continues Into Adulthood
  • Husband Plans to Strike It Rich on YouTube
  • My Fear of Feeling Irrelevant is Real, and Gosh, It Is Painful
  • My Old College Roommate’s Back, Negative Energy and All. Help!
  • How Will I Face Mother’s Day Without My Mother?
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2023 Andrews McMeel Universal