DEAR HARRIETTE: A month ago, my girlfriend told me that she wanted me to attend an important event of hers at 4 p.m. one day. I took off the second half of my workday in anticipation. However, the night before her event, she informed me that it was actually at 10 a.m. I was able to switch so I could get the morning off instead of the afternoon without a problem. But the next day, my girlfriend had the nerve to be mad at me for not taking the whole day off to spend time with her family. I told her that she had no right to expect me to do that, especially after dropping a different time on me at the last minute. Was I right? -- Unappreciated, Denver

DEAR UNAPPRECIATED: You and your girlfriend did not have a complete communication about her event. As a result, you both have hard feelings, and your schedule got turned inside out. In the best of worlds, she would have told you the scope of the event and her preferred intentions for your involvement in it. She also absolutely should have kept you up to date on time changes.

Given that this event included her family, it is understandable that she wanted you to be a part of the entire event, but given that she didn't give you the parameters, you should not be expected to be a mind reader.

You two need to have a sit-down where you talk about the event. Explain that you did not have a full understanding of the event, her desire for your participation, the final timing or her family's involvement. Tell your girlfriend that you did your best to be there for her based upon the information she shared with you. Had she wanted you to take off the whole day, you needed her to make that request in advance. Apologize for not being as present as she desired, but that in order for that to happen, the two of you need to be more specific in your communication.

This is not a question of right or wrong. Instead, it is an issue of clarity in a relationship. Let go of your anger and work with your girlfriend to do a better job of being on the same page.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week I was cleaning up my apartment, and I came across my old wedding album. I took a few minutes out of my cleaning schedule to reflect on that special day. I am no longer married to my wife, and I am not too sure what should I do with the album. Should I keep the album, or do I call my ex and have her pick it up? -- A Faded Memory, Bronx, New York

DEAR A FADED MEMORY: Some people save their old wedding albums even after divorce as part of their personal history. You did marry this woman, after all, so she is a part of your personal narrative.

If it makes you uncomfortable to have it in your possession, you should destroy it and then discard it. There is no reason to send it to your ex-wife. That relationship has ended. Sending it to her would suggest that you intend to reignite an old conversation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I attend a camp that features a lot of young people of various ages. Recently, the directors of the camp have been integrating the age groups more. However, the maturity levels of the younger children are significantly lower than that of me and my peers. When the kids act up, we all end up getting punished, which isn't fair. I have tried to talk to the directors of the camp, but they aren't responding adequately. How can I bring it up again without sounding entitled? -- Tired of Kids, Cambridge, Massachusetts

DEAR TIRED OF KIDS: Do your best to schedule an appointment with the head of your camp. With a level head, explain what you think are legitimate concerns. Start out positive. Say how much you like the camp and appreciate the fact that they take in so many different students. Then point out that there have been some significant challenges in your group, which you believe stem from the wide variety of ages. Give specific examples of how you have noticed that the younger children have engaged in certain behaviors that have caused scolding from the counselors. Rather than dumping on the younger kids, point out that you and your peers don't have the skills to manage them. Point out that you also find it frustrating to be punished for behavior that you did not do.

Ask if you can be separated or at least managed by separate counselors so that the young ones are their responsibility rather than yours.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a junior in college, and I have had a steady boyfriend for two years. He is a great guy. My boyfriend and I are currently apart for the summer, and he told me that he has occasionally wondered what it would be like to hook up with other people. He would never do it, but it made me feel a little insecure. I know it's normal to sometimes fantasize about other people, especially when apart, and the fact that he told me is a good sign. Should I be worried about my relationship? -- Wandering Eye, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR WANDERING EYE: The fact that your boyfriend mentioned the idea of hooking up with others means that he is thinking about it -- seriously. You two are very young and have been a couple for quite some time. It would not be unusual for either of you to wonder what it might be like to be involved in an inconsequential dalliance.

The problem is that rarely is a "hookup" without complication.

I recommend that you talk about this with him directly. Tell him that it made you a little insecure to think about him considering hooking up with someone else. Ask him if he is serious about this, if he has done it already or if he thinks he might actually do it. Ask him if he thinks it might affect your relationship, and how he would feel if you wanted to do such a thing.

Without being the grand inquisitor, get him to talk about his feelings on the subject so that you find out where he stands. Honesty may be hard in this situation, but it is important to work through this as you navigate your life together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently been spending time with people who are clearly out of my league. I met one woman on the beach a few summers ago when I was visiting friends. We liked each other instantly, and she has introduced me to her friend group. I totally enjoy spending time with them, but I don't even begin to know how to reciprocate. I feel weird inviting them over to my home, because it is tiny by comparison. I do have other friends over. I don't have a second home, a boat, a timeshare in the Caribbean or any of that stuff. I do have an interesting life, and these people seem to like me a lot. Should I just relax and be me? I know I should, but how do I show them how I live without turning them off? -- Feeling Less Than, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR FEELING LESS THAN: Chances are great that your friends already know more about you than you think. They probably like you for who you are as a person and how comfortably you fit in with them wherever you find yourselves. If you think it is possible for you to learn to enjoy the moment that you are in, it will be easier for you to find ways to invite them into your world.

If you feel comfortable in your home, invite the one you like the most over for tea or drinks or dinner. Share your life with that friend and see how it goes. Honestly, though, it starts with you feeling comfortable with who you are. That comfort and ease will rub off on whoever authentically cares about you. Anyone else does not deserve a seat at your table.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been on a serious exercise routine for the past three months, and I feel good about being on it. I get up even when I don't feel like it and either do exercises at home or go to the gym. This is so new for me, I can't even tell you. I'm beginning to feel like crap, though, because hardly anything has changed. I know I shouldn't be getting impatient, but I see these reports from people saying how they took some pill and lost weight miraculously. I'm afraid to do that, but I really want to lose weight and get fit. Could I be doing something wrong? -- Frustrated, Chicago

DEAR FRUSTRATED: The best way to find out what you should be doing to reach your optimum health is to visit your primary health practitioner. Get a complete physical and ask about your exercise routine to see if it matches with what you need to achieve specific goals. Your doctor should be able to help you identify your ideal weight, body mass index, etc. You probably will need to alter your diet, and you may need to accelerate your exercise routine. Get professional guidance, and know that significant results often do not reveal themselves for a good six months. Don't give up. Make this a lifestyle choice, to become and stay healthy and fit.