DEAR HARRIETTE: I have to travel 45 minutes by bus to get to work, and the bus comes only once an hour, something that my boss knows. I came in to work and discovered that the doors were locked. A custodian let me in, but my department was still locked. I checked my email and saw that my boss had sent me an email 45 minutes prior to when I would have had to be in the office (after I would have already been on the bus) that I didn't need to come in today. I found this rude, since she knows my situation, and I had to use my own money to pay for the bus to and from work that day, which was a waste of my wages, as the bus fare is not cheap. Do I have a right to ask for compensation for my troubles? -- Snubbed at Work, Detroit

DEAR SNUBBED AT WORK: Chances are your boss did not intentionally make the decision not to open the office that day too late for you to know. It's more likely that she did not realize that she didn't take her staff's travel time into account. Often, important decisions get made in a vacuum, and some things that should be obvious are overlooked. This does not make your boss's actions right; however, it can explain how such a thing could have happened.

I think it is fair for you to mention to your boss that you did not get the message in time and you came to work unnecessarily. You can say how much your commute costs and ask if you could possibly be reimbursed. By asking in a humble way, you create space for your boss to apologize and give you the money that you spent.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I run a writing critique group that meets once a week. It is a small group; therefore, we depend on the attendance of the members, which we make clear in the beginning. Of course, there are times when people are unable to make it, and we ask that they let us know ahead of time. However, there have been a couple of people who just won't show up one week, or for a few weeks at a time, with no explanation. Is it wrong to expect that members of a group let us know if they can't make a meeting, even if we did not explicitly state that they should tell us when we started the group? -- Team Work, Racine, Wisconsin

DEAR TEAM WORK: It is perfectly within your rights to follow up with members of your writing critique group to ask them to honor their obligation to attend and participate in your group sessions. Contact each of the no-shows to find out if they are all right and if they intend to come back. Explain how difficult it can be when members do not show up. Ask them to commit more fully to the group if they want to continue to be a part of it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm having a problem with a girl I met a couple of years ago but haven't spoken with very much since. Meanwhile, she desperately wants to be friends. We are Facebook friends, and she contacted me via Facebook for my birthday. After she saw that I went to an event, she wrote that we should video chat, using a lot of exclamation points and emoticons, as if we're best friends. Even though I never messaged her back, she doesn't seem to get the hint that I'm not interested in being friends. What should I do? -- Being Stalked, Seattle

DEAR BEING STALKED: You can "unfriend" her on Facebook if you are prepared to make it clear that you no longer want anything to do with her. Or you can simply not respond to her when she goes overboard with her familiarities. Or you can write to her to ask her to cool it. The one caveat with the latter option is that any communication may prove to be too exciting for her if it means that you are interacting. Best is to cut your ties.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a woman, and my male friend's girlfriend is convinced that guys and girls cannot be just friends unless something previously happened between them. She can get a little jealous when he and I hang out alone. I had romantic feelings toward him years ago, before they started dating, which lasted only a couple of months before we settled into friendship. He is currently one of my best friends. Should I talk to his girlfriend and reassure her that I am not interested in him, or should I just let it be? -- Platonic Friends, Washington, D.C.

DEAR PLATONIC FRIENDS: While you may not be interested in your friend in any romantic way at this time, who knows where your friend stands -- or what he used to think about you? Your friend's girlfriend may be aware that there once was interest between the two of you. It's hard to say.

Rather than attempting to convince her of anything through your words, let your actions say it all. Show that you are truly just a friend with no ulterior motives. Make the decision to get to know her. If it seems that the two of them are going to be a couple, does it make sense for you to build a relationship with her -- with your friend's blessing, of course?

Over time, if you do all stay friends, she will be able to see for herself that you are not a threat to their relationship. You cannot vouch for any other male-female bond, but your own behavior will be evidence of what your intentions are. Hopefully, that will be enough for her to relax and decide to accept you into the fold of their bond. Of course, you will have to be mindful to give them space to themselves. When couples fall in love, they do need alone time, including away from their best friends.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Two months ago, I was in a serious car accident. I had the light, and a taxicab hit me. I was not able to move, and an ambulance had to take me to the hospital. The doctor told me I had broken my left hip and left leg, and he said it would take a year of rehab to get back to full strength. My husband has been very helpful with my rehab, but I can see my injuries are wearing on him. I have not been in a romantic mood since the accident. My husband would like some "quality time," and I would like him to be patient with me while I am in rehab. What should I tell him to do? -- On the Mend, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR ON THE MEND: Talk to your doctor about your condition and the status of your overall health. It could be that you are suffering from depression brought on by your condition. If so, your doctor can help you by prescribing medication to relieve you of your overall malaise.

In terms of asking your husband for patience, be straightforward with him. Tell him that your recovery has taken more of a toll on you than you imagined. Thank him for his continued understanding. While you may not be ready for full intimacy, see what you can do to comfort your husband. What would make him happy? His favorite meal? Tickets to his favorite ball game? Obviously, these things will not replace intimacy, but they can show that you care about him and are making an effort during this difficult time for you both.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Is it too late for me to go back to school to get a degree and pursue a career I would enjoy? I am 49, married and the mother of two children, ages 19 and 25. I helped raise my children, and they are all grown up. I do not know what to do because the only jobs I have ever had were in retail. My oldest child recently graduated from college, and I am not sure if I could even afford to continue my education. Where would I go to find answers about returning to school at my age, choosing a major and finding the money to pay for it? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- Mom is Going Back to College, Chicago

DEAR MOM IS GOING BACK TO COLLEGE: Many people go to college later in life. Sometimes that turns out to be incredibly wise, as they go at a time when they are ready to pay closer attention to their studies.

There are many ways that people can receive support from the government to complete their education. Start by filling out the FAFSA form -- the Free Application for Federal Student Aid. This will evaluate what you are eligible to receive. See studentaid.ed.gov/fafsa for details. You may also look for scholarships for adults going back to school. There is a lot of support out there for people who want to further their education. Do your research, and by all means, enroll.