DEAR HARRIETTE: My assistant has become increasingly distracted by who knows what. I notice that she comes to work late very frequently, something she never did before. When I ask her to handle the simplest tasks, it now takes her hours when it used to take five minutes. I constantly have to remind her of basic responsibilities, which is driving me crazy. She used to be good, but I wonder if she even wants to be here anymore. I don't want to have to look for a new assistant, but it feels like she is forcing my hand. What can I do? -- No More Distractions, Ann Arbor, Mich.

DEAR NO MORE DISTRACTIONS: Call a meeting with your assistant and bring your concerns to her attention. Tell her that she seems to be distracted by something that is negatively affecting her work. Ask her what is going on in her life. Ask her directly if she still wants to work there. Sometimes people have to be confronted in order for them to reveal the truth.

I had the experience years ago with an assistant who started with an attitude and later became lackadaisical on the job. When I asked her what was going on, she eventually admitted that she wanted to go back to school. We agreed that if she would recommit to her job as she looked for a school in which to enroll, she could stay. But the requirement was that she go back to doing her job well. It worked out great for both of us, but it took me calling her on the carpet to wake her up. When she left, it was on good terms with a recommendation. We remain connected today.

You may need to wake up your employee, give her choices about how she plans to move forward and help her to be responsible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a pack of official letters from the IRS basically saying that I am delinquent, and if I don't get my paperwork in fast, they are going to garnish my wages. They are right. I got inundated with bills and being laid off, and I guess I just let it get past me. So now I'm screwed. I have no money to pay the IRS what I owe. What should I do? I don't want to go to jail. -- Scared, Detroit

DEAR SCARED: It's time to take action. First, contact an accountant who can look over your paperwork and help you get organized. If you cannot afford a private accountant, the IRS actually offers professional services. With an accountant, contact the IRS and ask for a payment plan. If you know you owe the money but you don't have it, you can work out an installment agreement where you must pay an agreed-upon amount every month until you pay it all off. Make sure you agree to an amount you can afford. You will have to keep up your payments.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am working with a program that helps young people get a leg up. My most recent intern is a friendly, eager young woman who is covered in tattoos. I didn't notice at first, because she was all covered up. But I just saw the tattoos, and they concern me. It's not that I am against tattoos, but I work in a fairly conservative business, and she stands out -- and not in a good way. How can I help her be more modest? -- Inked Out, Bay City, Mich.

DEAR INKED OUT: Talk to this young woman about her dreams and goals. Find out what she wants to do with her life. She may want to choose a career path where tattoos are irrelevant.

Continue the conversation by explaining to her that in some environments, her tats may be too distracting, like at your job. Recommend that she wear long sleeves, turtlenecks or whatever other clothing she can to veil her tattoos when the moment calls for that. She has to learn how to move between different worlds effectively. You can help her learn that navigation. It will be important for her to understand that she need not be ashamed of her body adornment, but she does need to understand that not every environment will welcome them. If she has to be in a situation where her tattoos may cause her discomfort or even cost her an opportunity that she wants, she may want to downplay them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is always whining about how she has to lose weight. She talks about it nonstop, but every time we are together, I see her stuffing her face with sweets and bread and all kinds of heavy foods. I know that she has been going through a rough patch in the past few months, but I am also certain that if she doesn't change her eating habits, she will continue to gain, not lose. Since she does bring this up to me all the time, do you think it would be OK for me to say something? -- Wanting to Help, Grand Rapids, Mich.

DEAR WANTING TO HELP: It is possible that your friend has not yet connected the dots between her eating habits and her weight gain, even though she acknowledges that she needs to slim down. She may be able to hear you if you point out that you have learned that foods like celery, fruits and vegetables are far better for your body in general, but especially when you are trying to lose weight.

Recommend that she consider preparing some snacks that are delicious and low calorie. One great source for such recipes is greatist.com/health/88-unexpected-snacks-under-100-calories. If you are so inclined, offer to travel on this journey with your friend. The two of you can make healthy snacks that you bring to work. You can talk about the creative options you discover and revel in their good taste.

You may also recommend to your friend that she see a nutritionist who can help put her on a plan designed for her body to get her healthy and trim.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a mother with two children under 5 years old. My husband and I live in a small community, and I feel terrible because I do not have the energy to volunteer at church or participate on any of the committees that are in my town. When asked to help, I often decline. I do read to the preschoolers once a month at the library. I want to do more for my community, but I have the two children to take care of. What can I do in the meantime? -- A Heart to Help, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR A HEART TO HELP: When children are small, the job of a parent is to care for them, if not also to work a job. You should not feel bad because you are focused on caring for your children. That is your primary responsibility. It sounds like you have found at least one activity, the monthly reading, that allows you to contribute to your community. Be satisfied with that level of volunteering for now.

As your children grow up, you can widen your prospects and still care for them by finding volunteer opportunities that can include your children. Talk to any moms that you meet at the library or elsewhere to learn what types of things they do. You will discover what makes sense for you that also fits within your schedule.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a co-worker who only works on average three hours a day, in an eight-hour workday schedule. She spends most of her time at lunch, shopping, making personal phone calls and chatting with other workers. She has been with the company for two years, and I do not see how she keeps her job. Her behavior makes me think she has no respect for her fellow co-workers, and I have to pick up her slack. Should I make waves and complain about her performance, or go with the flow? -- Working Nine to Nine, Salt Lake City

DEAR WORKING NINE TO NINE: Why do you feel you have to pick up her slack? That is the real question. I recommend that you do your job with full focus and attention. Be thorough in getting your work done, but leave her work for her to complete. If she doesn't finish it and she asks you for help, call her out on her behavior. Tell her that you believe she isn't getting her work done because her priorities are elsewhere. Be sure to let her know that you do not intend to continue to pick up her slack anymore.

Your chat with her may jumpstart her engine. If not, you can either let the scene ride out if you think it won't impact upon you negatively, or you can go to your boss to say that you are concerned about workflow. Rather than going into detail about what this employee is or is not doing, point out that you believe that she often does not complete her work, which makes it fall on you to get it done.