DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be super-close to one of my cousins. We talked all the time and really seemed more like sisters. Even after she moved clear across the country, we stayed in touch and shared our stories about our lives. Several years ago she moved a few continents away, and we lost touch with each other.

She called me out of the blue recently for my birthday, and it was so sweet. In a way, it felt like no time had passed between us. We just picked up where we left off and filled in each other on our lives. It was so great.

When we got off the phone, I realized that she hadn't given me her contact information. I have no idea how to reach her. I do not want five more years to go by. What can I do? -- Lost Cuz, Baltimore

DEAR LOST CUZ: It is wonderful that you reconnected with your cousin. I doubt that she intended to withhold her phone number. But do not despair. The Internet is an incredibly useful tool for finding people. Look at all of the traditional social media sites and search for your cousin's name. Also, think about which other family members might have her contact information, and check with them to see if they know how to reach her. I'm sure she told you where she lives. Find out if the local telephone company there might have a listing for her.

You are likely to find her -- if she doesn't reach out to you again first. Don't give up!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read your column and enjoy it very much.

I don't understand why the father was so upset with his wife and daughter about the daughter warming up leftovers from the previous night's dinner for a 5 a.m. breakfast. He should be pleased she's eating a good breakfast. So many children her age want nothing but sweet cereal, doughnuts or Pop-Tart-type pastries for breakfast. Has he never heard the saying, "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a banker and supper like a pauper"?

Does he want the whole family to eat breakfast together? I can understand dinner, but early morning schedules are so different that usually everybody eats, or doesn't eat, at a different time. If a food is nutritious, it's just as nutritious at 5 o'clock in the morning as it is at 6 o'clock in the evening. I'm just puzzled about his reaction. It seems unwarranted to me. -- Shaking My Head, Cleburne, Texas

DEAR SHAKING MY HEAD: Your points are well founded. Other readers have written in to add that this father may be super-controlling, an unhealthy approach toward parenting and family life. Mom needs to stand up for the child and help stave off the intense negativity that is coming at her and the child from the father.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Why is it that every time I try to do something nice for somebody, it comes back to bite me?

I have an assistant who has a bad attitude. I try to tell her nicely how I want her to behave and what is appropriate at our job. She just looks at me and shrugs it off. She doesn't change at all, unless the change is to act worse -- the whole sticking-out-her-lip thing and rolling her eyes. We work in a professional environment, and she acts like a spoiled brat. It is really awful.

I have tried to teach her what we expect, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I am only a few years older than she is, and I wonder if this is why she doesn't respect me.

What can I do? If she doesn't get her act together, she is not going to make it here. -- Dissed Boss, Chicago

DEAR DISSED BOSS: Talk to your human resources representative to verify the official way in which you should issue a warning to your assistant. You have already attempted to teach her what you deem appropriate, and she has not responded favorably. Sometimes having a formal warning helps to wake up a person to the responsibilities at hand.

It is common for young people in leadership positions to find themselves in conflict when demonstrating authority over staff members of any age. To counterbalance that, always behave professionally, dress as maturely as is appropriate for your role and remember that you and your staff members are not friends. You are the boss. You do not need to be rude, but be firm and clear about roles. This may help you from feeling that you are being ignored.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Your response to "No Money Lost," the writer whose online pen pal asked for $500 to pay for a family member's funeral, missed a very big red flag. Whenever someone you have not met in person asks for money, it should be considered a potential scam.

Why would this pen pal ask a person she has never met in person (and only recently met online) to help pay for her father's funeral? Why wouldn't she go to her family? Or, better yet, plan a funeral she and her family could afford!

Harriette, this woman truly is a stranger to the writer, despite their frequency of communication. There's no telling if any of her story is true. "No Money Lost" did the right thing in turning down her request. I'd bet my own money that she no longer communicates with your reader now that it's clear there will be no payday. -- Call Me Skeptical

DEAR CALL ME SKEPTICAL: It is fair to call me naive on this subject. While I did not recommend that "No Money Lost" give the Internet friend money, I also did not point out the potential or even the likelihood that the pen pal may have been perpetrating what is known as a "phishing" scam.

There are untruthful people in the world who prey on those who are kind, thoughtful and, yes, naive. For recommendations on how to spot phishing, here is one good link: microsoft.com/security/online-privacy/phishing-symptoms.aspx. There are plenty of others that provide insight into how to spot phishing and avoid being conned.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was out with friends and saw an acquaintance sitting alone in the restaurant. He looked a little uncomfortable, so I thought I would rescue him. I invited him to come sit with us, and he accepted. He spent the rest of the time talking to the other people at the table and ignoring me, even though I was the one to invite him. I was offended. What is the best way to handle a situation like this? -- Snubbed, Philadelphia

DEAR SNUBBED: I'm sorry you didn't say something to your acquaintance at the time. While at the restaurant, you could have attempted to spark a conversation directly with him or even called him on his rudeness (privately) to wake him up to his actions.

Since you did not act in the moment, it is now time to follow up with him. But before you reach out, calm down. Assume the positive -- that the snub was unintentional. Tell him it was nice to see him. Add that you were taken aback by his behavior. Chances are he is oblivious to what he did -- or didn't do. Describe to him how you "rescued" him by welcoming him to sit with your group of friends and how, consciously or otherwise, he proceeded to become absorbed in the conversation without ever remembering to include you. Make it clear that you didn't appreciate it, but do not go on and on about it. Make your point and consider it handled.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After reading the sad letter from "Distraught," I wanted to let you know that Willow House is a wonderful resource for grief support in the Chicago area. Please visit our website (willowhouse.org) to find out more. We charge no fees for peer support programs, outreach, education and crisis support. As a nonprofit, we rely on donations, grants and fundraising.

Support is vital to grieving families, and there are so few organizations like Willow House that provide a safe place to share sadness and hope, memories and fears with others who understand. -- Board Chair, Chicago

DEAR BOARD CHAIR: Thank you for your recommendation. What's particularly great about your program is that it is free to anyone in need in the Chicago area.

For those who are suffering in other parts of the country, do your research to find out if free resources are available where you live. Remember that you can reach out to your spiritual home and, in case of emergency, you can go to the hospital if you feel you need immediate help.

So many people are in emotional pain, whether because of bullying, identity crisis, loss or other event. The great news is that you do not have to suffer in silence or in isolation.