DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that my son was not accepted to the college he has been dreaming about for years. He did get accepted to another school, but he is devastated. How can I support him through this? -- Sympathetic Mom, Washington, D.C.

DEAR SYMPATHETIC MOM: Remind your son of the victory of being accepted to college. Encourage him to reach out to his favorite school and find out why he wasn't accepted. Occasionally schools will provide feedback. If he gets it, this may help him to shore up areas that may not be as strong as he might like.

Give him context, no matter what. Many more applicants typically want to attend a given school than the school can accept. He is not alone in this tough rejection.

DEAR HARRIETTE: In today's paper, I read your column about a woman whose 80-year-old mother calls her three times a day at work.

As someone who has recently overseen the care of three elderly family members, I think your suggestion to find local senior centers for the mother was a good start, but it may be missing the mark. If the mother forgets that she should not call during the day, that is a big sign. Often we are in denial about the decline of our parents for any number of reasons.

It is time for this mom to be assessed by a doctor and to receive help in moving to a senior living apartment (with meals and social amenities) or assisted living. Also, she should get power of attorney and health-care proxies in order.

Most people wait too long for this step and suffer needlessly with boredom, neglect or worse. Making the move or change while still somewhat cognizant is a huge benefit to all.

I wish I had moved my mother sooner. She now lives in a very nice assisted living home; I call her daily or more, and visit her at least weekly. There are more activities than she can ever attend, and she has made new friends among the residents and the staff. She is eating well, receives her medicines on time and is cared for and happy.

Please inform your reader that it is time to step up and check out her mom's situation. She will get peace of mind, and her mother will remain engaged, safe and happy.

Numerous resources are available to help people learn how to afford such care. In our area, Eldersource is a good resource. Some assisted living homes offer a limited number of Medicaid beds (get on the wait list), and Veterans Affairs offers Aid and Attendance to veterans and their spouses. -- Been There, Rochester, N.Y.

DEAR BEEN THERE: Thank you for your suggestions. The bottom line is that when we are lucky enough to have our elders in our lives, we are also responsible for paying attention to their needs.

One thing that younger people can do now in preparing for the future is to purchase long-term care insurance before they need it. For more information, visit aarphealthcare.com.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been interested in a guy for a while, but he was in a long-term relationship. The two of them recently broke up because they "grew apart." I want to ask him out, but I don't want to be insensitive, even though growing apart normally means they don't have romantic feelings for each other anymore. Is there a courtesy period I should wait before making a move? -- In the Wings, Philadelphia

DEAR IN THE WINGS: If you are interested in this man, reach out to him as a friend. Invite him out for coffee, making the overture as neutral as possible.

If he agrees, ask him how he is doing. I recommend that you tell him you are interested in dating him. You do not need to push for trying to date him today, but if you don't say something, there is a good chance he may come to look upon you as a friend. Once you get put into the platonic friend category, it can be incredibly difficult to move into the category of potential romantic partner.

You can tell him that you don't want to be insensitive, but that you do want him to know you care about him and would like to spend more time with him in the future, if he is interested.

The state of his heart will determine his reaction. You may find that he cannot handle another relationship right now. Or he may let you know that he is interested in you and would like to see how things unfold.

He also may indicate that he is not interested in dating you. Pay attention to how he responds and proceed accordingly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I constantly go back and forth on whether I want to stay in a relationship with my girlfriend. She is younger than me, and we are in completely different places in our lives. I'm sometimes embarrassed about our age difference and make her sound older than she is to my friends.

Right now, we're in a good place, but that could end any minute. What should I do? -- Betwixt, Laredo, Texas

DEAR BETWIXT: Age can be an issue in a relationship, but it doesn't have to be.

Lying about your girlfriend's age and feeling so uncomfortable about the status of your bond will surely lead to a breakup, perhaps unnecessarily. So pause for a moment and review your relationship. What do you like about being with this woman, and what doesn't work? Do you believe you are compatible? Do you enjoy each other's company? Why are you so afraid the relationship will end at any moment?

You need to figure out where you stand -- and where your girlfriend stands. Talk it out together to see if you both want to give it a real try. If you cannot get past your apprehension, do yourself and her a favor and move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have used a cleaning service for my home for the last three years. It's owned by a woman (I'll call her Beth) who started the business to support herself and her daughter. She has built it into a pretty good business -- so much so that she has had to hire additional employees to help meet her clients' needs. Her service is bonded and insured.

I recently discovered that about $25,000 worth of jewelry had been stolen from my home within the last six months. We reported the theft to the police, and they are investigating. The items were not insured (I know, my fault).

I told Beth what happened and told her the police would be speaking with her and the employees who cleaned our house. I told her I didn't think she was the thief, but perhaps it was the current employee she has assigned to clean our house or a previous one who is no longer with her. Beth was understandably upset. She said she would cooperate fully and help any way she can, and she informed me again that she is bonded.

I hope the police find my jewelry and the thief so this story will end here. However, if it is not recovered, my husband wants me to file a claim with Beth's bonding company for the value of the jewelry. The jewelry was well hidden, not just lying out, and one of the watches is rare and worth more than $10,000.

I found out that if I file a claim against Beth with her insurance company, that I will get my money back for the stolen jewelry -- but that Beth will be rendered uninsurable and unbondable and may lose her business. Yes, she could clean homes again without being bonded, but word would get out and she would lose clients and definitely not have the successful business she has built.

My husband and I are at odds over this. While I am devastated by the loss of my property and the fact it was not insured, I don't feel right taking an action that would cause Beth to possibly lose her business and her livelihood due to an unscrupulous employee. My husband argues that she should have vetted her employees better and that, as a business owner, she is ultimately responsible for who she hires and for who enters our home when we are not there.

I am asking for a neutral third-party opinion. Harriette, if you were in this situation, what would you do? -- Vacillating, Washington, D.C.

DEAR VACILLATING: This is a tough situation, and I understand your angst.

I would speak to Beth and tell her the choice you face. I would ask if she is able to reimburse you personally for the full amount or an agreed-upon figure -- in essence, if she will settle with you. If you are willing to settle for a smaller amount to recoup some of your loss without hurting her future, you may want to try that. But do remember that she is bonded for these kinds of circumstances.