DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a vendor who travels to different trade shows to sell things. Often, out of courtesy, the vendors buy from other vendors who are near them. I usually do this, but the past few shows had low consumer turnout, and I didn't make much money. The last thing I could afford to do was spend money. I felt bad about it, though, since we usually support one another.

Should I have said something to the others? I didn't. I just left. -- Embarrassed, Shreveport, La.

DEAR EMBARRASSED: I like the support that you and your small-business associates have offered one another. It is lovely to make the gesture of actually purchasing something from the businesses surrounding you. At the same time, you are smart to tighten your purse strings as needed.

It would have been nice if you had said something, since you have set the expectation that you often make a purchase. It is not the end of the world, though.

Next time, wish every vendor well as you start out. At the end, if you cannot afford to make a purchase and you are near people with whom you have a history, say that this time you cannot support them with a purchase but that you do give them your good wishes. To the rest, be pleasant and offer your best wishes for their continued success.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that a former co-worker who moved on to a really big job has been fired. It hasn't hit the news yet, and I'm not sure what to do. I like her a lot and want to support her. I imagine that she could use a friend at this time.

Should I reach out to her? I don't want to embarrass her because of this knowledge. I want to be an available friend. -- Friendly Shoulder, Los Angeles

DEAR FRIENDLY SHOULDER: You have the right attitude in a prickly situation. When someone loses a job, a friend's support can be tremendously helpful. It is also true that people sometimes want to be left alone after a job loss. If your friend's loss becomes public knowledge, that makes her situation even more uncomfortable to navigate.

You cannot know how she will respond until you reach out. Get in touch with her in the same way you normally do, whether it be cellphone, text or visit. If you have to leave her a message, let her know you are thinking about her and wishing her well. Invite her to lunch or tea.

Sometimes when people lose their jobs they become reclusive, and an invitation to step out of their space can be welcome. You will soon find out how your friend responds to your offer. If you don't hear back right away, give her time and try again in a few days.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a homeless man at my friend's church. I walked by him as I entered the church, and he stopped and talked to me and was very pleasant. Before we parted ways, he reached out to shake my hand, which I did. But afterward, my hand started itching -- seriously.

After a bit, I went and washed my hands, but I felt so bad. I don't want to be the type of person who is any particular way about people in need. As my mother would always say, "There but for the grace of God go I." I feel horrible that I even had to wash my hand, but honestly, it started itching.

How can I change my attitude so that something like this won't upset me in the future? -- Itchy, Harlem, N.Y.

DEAR ITCHY: Take a deep breath and relax. Slowly review the moment you shared with the homeless man. It sounds as if you had a positive exchange. You stopped and talked with him, one human being to another. You were respectful, and you parted ways kindly. You should feel only positive things about that aspect of your encounter.

As far as cleanliness and handshaking go, you absolutely did the right thing to wash your hands. It is possible that your hand itched after shaking another hand that may not have been clean.

By the way, lack of cleanliness is not relegated to one particular group. Many people who are not homeless fail to wash their hands when they use the restroom. But obviously the chances of someone who is homeless having dirty, calloused or infectious hands is more likely. Do not feel bad about washing your hands. It doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you practical.

To avoid being upset by something like this in the future, adopt a practical attitude. Be cordial with everyone. Speak further to the people who attract your attention. Limit whom you touch, especially if you don't know them. But never pass judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed that a young college graduate who recently came to work at my company never wears a coat. She wears what look like lightweight jackets and such. When I asked her about it, she shrugged it off, saying that what she wears is cool.

It is cold where we live. I wonder if she can't afford a coat. She has an entry-level job, and she moved from Florida. Would it be OK for me to offer to give her a coat that I have? I don't want to insult her, but she needs it. -- Caring Co-worker, Chicago

DEAR CARING CO-WORKER: You never know if she will accept your offer, but it is worth a try. Discreetly bring a coat (the one you think she is most likely to wear) to work in a bag and give it to her, saying you brought her a present. Do not press her to react, respond or wear the coat. Let her take it from there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: People often mistake me for a celebrity. Quite a few people have come up and asked me if I am a certain pop star or TV actress. At first I was annoyed, but now I'm thinking maybe I should go into entertainment. If people already think I'm famous, why shouldn't I try to become famous? How would I go about doing that? -- Near Fame, Racine, Wis.

DEAR NEAR FAME: I can see why you would imagine that there is a road toward fame that is paved by a familiar face. That may even be true, but I must tell you that it is unlikely.

It's fine to feel flattered that people mistake you for somebody famous. But rather than trying to become famous by looking like someone else, why not use the opportunity to tell people who you are?

What are your interests? What do you do now? What are your dreams for the future? I say, focus on YOU. Develop your interests and talents. Become great at being you. That will then attract others to you for the right reasons.

That you happen to have a familiar face may help you to open doors. Just make sure the doors are those you want to open.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I met a great guy last weekend. It was at the party of a mutual friend, and the two of us seriously hit it off. We have talked on the phone every day since, and we've had three dates already. I like him a lot, and I can tell that he likes me, too. Everything has been going great.

I'm writing because he just asked if I would like to go to California with him next week. He has to go for business, and he has invited me to come and hang out with him when he's not working.

The offer is really exciting, but I'm afraid it's moving way too fast. I like him, but I feel like if I go on a trip with him, he will have certain expectations of me. I'm not a fast-moving girl, and I don't want to give him the wrong impression. Of course, I would love to go with him to California, but I don't want to make a good thing messy. What should I do? -- Tempted, Washington, D.C.

DEAR TEMPTED: The best way to stay clear of temptation is to avoid it. If it feels too early for you to go on a trip with this man, that means it is too early -- for you. If there is a future for the two of you, a little time apart will not stymie that.

Thank your beau for the invitation. Tell him that you think it's lovely that he invited you to join him on this trip but that you will be unable to go. Suggest that you make plans now for when he returns.